roosa's I-am-pregnantblog

roosa
	Age: 38 Country: USA Province/region: Washington City: Spokane Partner: husband Keith Children: Yes, 4 Pregnant: No Occupation: home mom, photographer
	Online: 9 days ago. Last updated: 232 days ago. Member since: 1439 days
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04-12-2011 - nothing there..

My mood while writing this blog:
sad

Well, I had my U/S Friday to get some final answers. My logic told me there was no baby, since that sac had measured 2 weeks behind, but in my heart I was still really hoping. I wanted so badly to have this baby, to have one more miracle. I was so grateful this pregnancy had been a surprise - without all the hardship of TTC and without having made any final plans on how to get through an actual pregnancy. I felt so blessed and was so excited. My U/S was at 5 pm and it was the longest day waiting for it.. But there was absolutely nothing there. No sac, no placenta. It was all just gone. I think some of it may have absorbed because I had only been spotting.. I will know my HCG levels on Monday and will get them rechecked again in two weeks time.

I am very, very sad, but know I will get through this. I don't understand, but I am trying not to lean on my own understanding and instead trust in God with all of my heart.

I did see my new OB after the U/S and he is just absolutely amazing. He is kind, compassionate and just a super doctor. So different than my last one.. We did talk about a possible future pregnancy and how he/we would tackle that and it was so reassuring. When I saw the nurse practitioner a couple of weeks ago she said they would probably not do a cerclage unless you have been diagnosed with incompetent cervix, which I have not.. But this OB said he would definitely do it for me - considering my past, that we lost one at 20 weeks and that in my last pregnancy my cervix shortened and funneled, AND to help me mentally. It meant so much to me to hear!! Again, he is just amazing!!! Obviously we would probably wait a little while before trying to get pregnant again, and then even then, we wouldn't really be trying.. just whatever happens happens. We have had our share of draining TTC journeys and see no need to embark on another one. In the end I believe either way that it will happen if and when God allows it.

Thanks everyone for your love, support and prayers.

God bless,
Karin

13 Comments on nothing there..

nouna - Wednesday, 14 Dec
Hi Karin I am really really soory for you .. I had not been on the site since long ..came to see how u r doing .. Bigs hugs hun...Have faith on GOd and his plans.. BIGGGG HUGSI do not know what else to say to comfort you coz i know how hard it is ..Mail me whenever you are free to talk..Can i have your number I will give u a call .. mail me

Quiver Full - Friday, 9 Dec
just wanted to post here how sorry i am dear friend that you are going through this! so sorry for your pregnancy loss! so sorry for all the diappointment! i know how sad it is! praying for you and loving you and your sweet family!

kbfulloffaith - Thursday, 8 Dec
I was so sorry to hear your news. I am thinking of you...

firsttimer - Monday, 5 Dec
Karin, I'm so sorry to come on here and read this terrible news. I'm so sad for you right now x take care of yourself x

mommykeisha - Monday, 5 Dec
I'm so sorry hun!!! ((((((((big hugs)))))))))

vinessalynn - Monday, 5 Dec
That's exactly what we decided, and we have been trusting God for the past four years. He is in control, and He will take care of you. He's already blessed you with a fantastic Dr., and He will give you the strength and peace you need. You're in my thoughts and prayers...

thuy - Monday, 5 Dec
Karin I am so sorry to hear this. Continue to stay strong and trust in God. You found a good doctor and will be prepared when the time is right. xoxo

J9 - Monday, 5 Dec
Karin, once again so sorry for your loss. I know you are hurting now but you are such a strong woman with an admirable faith so I know you will get through this. Xxx

pugdunn - Sunday, 4 Dec
Sorry to hear ... Big hugs and prayers sent your way in your time of need!!! I'm sure everything will work out when you least suspect it ... God has a plan for us all. Never forget that!

MyAngelTwins - Sunday, 4 Dec
I am so very sorry, hun. It is so important to have a caring OB and it sounds like you really have one. I love your attitude about it all. I know you are hurting but trusting God. My prayers are with you and your family; )

brandy1015 - Sunday, 4 Dec
Oh Karen, I am so sorry.. Big (((Hugs)))...

ttc6thbaby - Sunday, 4 Dec
i was so hoping for the best for you, i am sorry hunny!

okynot - Sunday, 4 Dec
I wish things would have gone different with this pregnancy for you. I hold on to that verse as well and try not to lean on my own understanding, choosing instead to trust God...

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