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 | Age: 38 Country: USA Province/region: Washington City: Spokane Partner: husband Keith Children: Yes, 4 Pregnant: No Occupation: home mom, photographer |
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I know it is still too early to know anything for sure but I think I had a chemical pregnancy this month - basically a pregnancy that turned into a miscarriage just a few days after conception. After having dreamt about pregnancy for 4 nights in a row, I decided to take a pregnancy test on 8 DPO. There was a faint, faint line but it was definitely there and within the proper reading time. I took another test on day 9, nothing. Took one today on day 11, nothing. Plus today I am spotting. I know it could be implantation bleeding but with the way the tests have gone, I am not feeling very positive. So I quite convinced I have been pregnant this month - the question is if I still am. That question is driving me insane. In this journey there isn't far between excitement and sadness, one can quickly be replaced by the other. When I took my first test I got so excited, even though I was trying to tell myself not to. I have been fairly relaxed about TTC this month but the test made me realize again how much I want this. Right now I am feeling overwhelmed with sadness and overwhelmed with the way all this is going - I am so tired of my broken body. Will I ever be restored?
I went and bought baby aspirin today. I read yesterday that antiphospholipid syndrome (which I may have) can cause chemical pregnancies. My blood specialist told me it wasn't necessary to take aspirin until I know I am pregnant (after a missed period), but I am not so convinced about that anymore, and so I have decided to take them.
I will keep you updated when I know more, but please pray for me my friends.
Love,
Karin
January 9th update, day 13 DPO
Thanks everyone for your support and prayers. I never got another positive after 8 DPO and on 11 DPO I started spotting for two days and am now bleeding heavily so it obviously wasn't my month. It upsets me to have been so close yet it didn't happen. I don't mean to sound so down but I honestly can't believe anymore that I will have more children. As I have already mentioned to a few of you, I appreciate that you are believing for me. It may not make sense but it means a lot to me. At this stage though I have no hope left. Yet that being said I will go find a new doctor - one who is actually willing to do fertility testing on us and one who actually cares. I do feel depressed and was wondering about seeing a counselor but decided that they won't be able to change anything for me. The only thing that can make me feel better and whole again is another pregnancy, another baby, and a doctor is the only one who can potentially help me with that (or maybe my acupuncturist). I am sorry if I am rambling on and making no sense - particularly with saying I have lost hope yet want to see a doctor. I guess I know I need to keep trying even though it feels hopeless.
Thanks again everyone. Your friendships means the world to me.
Love,
Karin
18 Comments on chemical pregnancy
firstmommy08 - Saturday, 10 Jan
Karin, I am sorry it wasn't your month. I'm not going to say anything else other than that. I know I can't say anything that will make it any easier or lighter for you. I don't know why? That's all I keep asking, "Why?"
Just know...You're in my thoughts & prayers often. That's all we can do, right? ((hugs)) Sam
Quiver Full - Saturday, 10 Jan
Oh Karin my dear friend. I am so so sorry for all you are dealing with! I am happy to see all the support you are receiving here!!! I too have hope for you and feel like you will have another baby!!! It seems so grim now and i truly know the pain. I will pray that God will draw you close to Him and increase your faith! I love you dearly. I can't wait to be rejoicing with you!
Jelly27 - Friday, 9 Jan
You are not rambling. I have no clue how you feel. I've never managed to get pregnant so I don't know what your losses feel like. I do know that you must feel horrible and defected. Finding another doctor may not be a bad idea. I've changed my doctors and since then have a better outlook on my future. It still hurts and I fight back depression everyday, but I do feel better. The break I took although short cleared my head a whole lot. I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that you will be able to see and feel some sunshine soon!
chips - Friday, 9 Jan
I am sorry for you pain sweetheart!...I will pray for you sweetie and still believe that your time will come!...I think you should see a different docter......and keep on seeing your acupuncturist.......and you are moving to the usa maybe you will find someone there.....they are quite abit better there!
Talk to a counsellor they can be very good
always here for you
keep in touch
Godbless you and your famlyxxxx
wendywoo40 - Friday, 9 Jan
I am so sorry to read your news. May be it would help to talk to a counsellor but it is totally up to you as it is you body and mind.
I will pray for you hun and I so do hope that it will happen for you. You are still only young.
Take care
Wendy XX
newmommyagain - Friday, 9 Jan
Karin, I want you to know I still have hope for you. Never give up, never say its too late. You are only 35! I am right behind you. I have wanted to give up too, but I know so many woman who still have babies up to 45 years old, so I figure I have a good 10 yrs left. Never feel bad about what you write on your web page, depressed or not. That's what its here for. You have to let some one hear your true feelings sometime. It helps to have them heard by people you don't even know. That's how I see it. Here's a website I think you should look at www.pregnancyloss.info It has answered lots of ?s for me. I, too, have been told to take aspirin due to being positive for Lupus Anticoagulant (a clotting disorder). I figure why not take a baby aspirin a day. It has other benefits. Like a little boost to your metabolism so take it in the morning. God bless you.
dsmart - Friday, 9 Jan
Karin, please keep your head up...I know that easy to say, but you have to stay strong and keep praying, it will happen when you least expect it. I will also keep you in my prayers...the power of prayer :-)
Vicki--mommy of 4 - Friday, 9 Jan
I'm so sorry hun. You go find you another doctor that will listen to you. At least you might have some answers then and they can figure out how to make your dreams come true! Your in my prayers!
wendywoo40 - Thursday, 8 Jan
Hi Karin,
I really hope it is good news for you. I will be praying for you and that there is a little one growing in your tummy.
Please take care]
Wendy xx
betty - Thursday, 8 Jan
I am praying for you. You don't know what is happening but GOD knows. And lets pray and wait to HIM. HE can change everything. I will pray and hope for the best. For me there is nothing new I am on CD29/32 I don't feel anything and I am not expecting anything except AF after 3 days.
baileymama - Thursday, 8 Jan
hello, sorry for everything you are going through. have you made an appointment to see the dr yet? do you know for sure if you arent preg anymore? i will pray for you
ktpregers - Wednesday, 7 Jan
Hi Karin, So sorry to hear that you don't have a good feeling. I can tell you though that with Cora, I had the same thing, negative after a faint line so I waited a few days and took another test and it was positive so there could be hope.
I agree with you on the asprin, go with your gut feeling....it can't hurt.
Like I said before, i have been having a good feeling about you the past 2 months so i can't help thinking that your time is near. Hang in love and I will say a prayer for you!
J9 - Wednesday, 7 Jan
Oh Karin, I'm really sorry to hear this news... it does sound like it could have been a very very early chemical pregnancy. I guess it probably happens that early to so many people who never actually find out because they haven't missed their period. Still, it is very sad and I'm thinking of you xxx
firsttimer - Wednesday, 7 Jan
Oh love, how awful. You must be going out of your mind. Let us know what happens, we will all be thinking about you x
chips - Wednesday, 7 Jan
dear Karin you are in my prayers sweetheart......I pray that you get your wish sweetie!......very soon........
lots of love
Godbless you and your family
xxxxxxxxxxxx
kimmeym - Wednesday, 7 Jan
U are in my prayers Karin. I know it must be tough to not know what is happening with your body. Have you made an appointment to see the dr, or are you planning to?
Vicki--mommy of 4 - Wednesday, 7 Jan
I'm so sorry hun that your having to go through this. I hope the last couple of tests have been wrong and you get the results you want soon!
crystal10102007 - Wednesday, 7 Jan
Thinking about you! I will keep you in my prayers!
| 06-1-2009 - chemical pregnancy |  My mood while writing this blog:distressed |
I know it is still too early to know anything for sure but I think I had a chemical pregnancy this month - basically a pregnancy that turned into a miscarriage just a few days after conception. After having dreamt about pregnancy for 4 nights in a row, I decided to take a pregnancy test on 8 DPO. There was a faint, faint line but it was definitely there and within the proper reading time. I took another test on day 9, nothing. Took one today on day 11, nothing. Plus today I am spotting. I know it could be implantation bleeding but with the way the tests have gone, I am not feeling very positive. So I quite convinced I have been pregnant this month - the question is if I still am. That question is driving me insane. In this journey there isn't far between excitement and sadness, one can quickly be replaced by the other. When I took my first test I got so excited, even though I was trying to tell myself not to. I have been fairly relaxed about TTC this month but the test made me realize again how much I want this. Right now I am feeling overwhelmed with sadness and overwhelmed with the way all this is going - I am so tired of my broken body. Will I ever be restored?
I went and bought baby aspirin today. I read yesterday that antiphospholipid syndrome (which I may have) can cause chemical pregnancies. My blood specialist told me it wasn't necessary to take aspirin until I know I am pregnant (after a missed period), but I am not so convinced about that anymore, and so I have decided to take them.
I will keep you updated when I know more, but please pray for me my friends.
Love,
Karin
January 9th update, day 13 DPO
Thanks everyone for your support and prayers. I never got another positive after 8 DPO and on 11 DPO I started spotting for two days and am now bleeding heavily so it obviously wasn't my month. It upsets me to have been so close yet it didn't happen. I don't mean to sound so down but I honestly can't believe anymore that I will have more children. As I have already mentioned to a few of you, I appreciate that you are believing for me. It may not make sense but it means a lot to me. At this stage though I have no hope left. Yet that being said I will go find a new doctor - one who is actually willing to do fertility testing on us and one who actually cares. I do feel depressed and was wondering about seeing a counselor but decided that they won't be able to change anything for me. The only thing that can make me feel better and whole again is another pregnancy, another baby, and a doctor is the only one who can potentially help me with that (or maybe my acupuncturist). I am sorry if I am rambling on and making no sense - particularly with saying I have lost hope yet want to see a doctor. I guess I know I need to keep trying even though it feels hopeless.
Thanks again everyone. Your friendships means the world to me.
Love,
Karin
18 Comments on chemical pregnancy
firstmommy08 - Saturday, 10 Jan
Karin, I am sorry it wasn't your month. I'm not going to say anything else other than that. I know I can't say anything that will make it any easier or lighter for you. I don't know why? That's all I keep asking, "Why?"
Just know...You're in my thoughts & prayers often. That's all we can do, right? ((hugs)) Sam
Quiver Full - Saturday, 10 Jan
Oh Karin my dear friend. I am so so sorry for all you are dealing with! I am happy to see all the support you are receiving here!!! I too have hope for you and feel like you will have another baby!!! It seems so grim now and i truly know the pain. I will pray that God will draw you close to Him and increase your faith! I love you dearly. I can't wait to be rejoicing with you!
Jelly27 - Friday, 9 Jan
You are not rambling. I have no clue how you feel. I've never managed to get pregnant so I don't know what your losses feel like. I do know that you must feel horrible and defected. Finding another doctor may not be a bad idea. I've changed my doctors and since then have a better outlook on my future. It still hurts and I fight back depression everyday, but I do feel better. The break I took although short cleared my head a whole lot. I'm so sorry for your loss and hope that you will be able to see and feel some sunshine soon!
chips - Friday, 9 Jan
I am sorry for you pain sweetheart!...I will pray for you sweetie and still believe that your time will come!...I think you should see a different docter......and keep on seeing your acupuncturist.......and you are moving to the usa maybe you will find someone there.....they are quite abit better there!
Talk to a counsellor they can be very good
always here for you
keep in touch
Godbless you and your famlyxxxx
wendywoo40 - Friday, 9 Jan
I am so sorry to read your news. May be it would help to talk to a counsellor but it is totally up to you as it is you body and mind.
I will pray for you hun and I so do hope that it will happen for you. You are still only young.
Take care
Wendy XX
newmommyagain - Friday, 9 Jan
Karin, I want you to know I still have hope for you. Never give up, never say its too late. You are only 35! I am right behind you. I have wanted to give up too, but I know so many woman who still have babies up to 45 years old, so I figure I have a good 10 yrs left. Never feel bad about what you write on your web page, depressed or not. That's what its here for. You have to let some one hear your true feelings sometime. It helps to have them heard by people you don't even know. That's how I see it. Here's a website I think you should look at www.pregnancyloss.info It has answered lots of ?s for me. I, too, have been told to take aspirin due to being positive for Lupus Anticoagulant (a clotting disorder). I figure why not take a baby aspirin a day. It has other benefits. Like a little boost to your metabolism so take it in the morning. God bless you.
dsmart - Friday, 9 Jan
Karin, please keep your head up...I know that easy to say, but you have to stay strong and keep praying, it will happen when you least expect it. I will also keep you in my prayers...the power of prayer :-)
Vicki--mommy of 4 - Friday, 9 Jan
I'm so sorry hun. You go find you another doctor that will listen to you. At least you might have some answers then and they can figure out how to make your dreams come true! Your in my prayers!
wendywoo40 - Thursday, 8 Jan
Hi Karin,
I really hope it is good news for you. I will be praying for you and that there is a little one growing in your tummy.
Please take care]
Wendy xx
betty - Thursday, 8 Jan
I am praying for you. You don't know what is happening but GOD knows. And lets pray and wait to HIM. HE can change everything. I will pray and hope for the best. For me there is nothing new I am on CD29/32 I don't feel anything and I am not expecting anything except AF after 3 days.
baileymama - Thursday, 8 Jan
hello, sorry for everything you are going through. have you made an appointment to see the dr yet? do you know for sure if you arent preg anymore? i will pray for you
ktpregers - Wednesday, 7 Jan
Hi Karin, So sorry to hear that you don't have a good feeling. I can tell you though that with Cora, I had the same thing, negative after a faint line so I waited a few days and took another test and it was positive so there could be hope.
I agree with you on the asprin, go with your gut feeling....it can't hurt.
Like I said before, i have been having a good feeling about you the past 2 months so i can't help thinking that your time is near. Hang in love and I will say a prayer for you!
J9 - Wednesday, 7 Jan
Oh Karin, I'm really sorry to hear this news... it does sound like it could have been a very very early chemical pregnancy. I guess it probably happens that early to so many people who never actually find out because they haven't missed their period. Still, it is very sad and I'm thinking of you xxx
firsttimer - Wednesday, 7 Jan
Oh love, how awful. You must be going out of your mind. Let us know what happens, we will all be thinking about you x
chips - Wednesday, 7 Jan
dear Karin you are in my prayers sweetheart......I pray that you get your wish sweetie!......very soon........
lots of love
Godbless you and your family
xxxxxxxxxxxx
kimmeym - Wednesday, 7 Jan
U are in my prayers Karin. I know it must be tough to not know what is happening with your body. Have you made an appointment to see the dr, or are you planning to?
Vicki--mommy of 4 - Wednesday, 7 Jan
I'm so sorry hun that your having to go through this. I hope the last couple of tests have been wrong and you get the results you want soon!
crystal10102007 - Wednesday, 7 Jan
Thinking about you! I will keep you in my prayers!
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15-12-2008 - names in the sand
19-8-2008 - August 20th
04-12-2011 - nothing there..
29-11-2011 - probably blighted ovum
23-11-2011 - ER visit
22-11-2011 - first appointment
03-11-2011 - an unexpected blessing
27-6-2011 - Adoption Day
18-2-2011 - Kaden is one
05-1-2011 - leaving it up to God
30-11-2010 - update on our family
09-9-2010 - meet Kaitlin Danielle
24-5-2010 - Happy, fulfilled, blessed
12-5-2010 - Facing the future
15-4-2010 - Kaden 8 weeks
01-4-2010 - Kaden 6 weeks
27-3-2010 - Kathleen's 2nd birthday
18-3-2010 - Kaden is 1 month old
19-2-2010 - Kaden Joshua is here!!
12-2-2010 - Full term!!!
05-2-2010 - 36 weeks appointment
02-2-2010 - Induction Date!
29-1-2010 - 35 week appointment
21-1-2010 - 33 weeks appointment
12-1-2010 - 32 week growth scan
08-1-2010 - 32 week appointment
11-12-2009 - Kaden's heart rate
06-12-2009 - A scary day
01-12-2009 - 26 week appointment
03-11-2009 - Week 22 and H1N1
21-10-2009 - 20 weeks
07-10-2009 - It's a boy!
23-9-2009 - Good news!
09-9-2009 - Not a good day
18-8-2009 - God's timing
18-8-2009 - Pregnancy Loss & Support Pamphlet
31-7-2009 - Obgyn visit and U/S
29-7-2009 - Blood work results..
26-7-2009 - Trying to find a doctor
26-6-2009 - I'm pregnant!!
26-3-2009 - Kathleen's anniversary
12-3-2009 - blood tests results
27-2-2009 - dreams
18-2-2009 - doctor appointment
08-2-2009 - one more month
06-1-2009 - chemical pregnancy
15-12-2008 - names in the sand
19-8-2008 - August 20th
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