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19-7-2009 - Father

My mood while writing this blog: sad and upset

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hey ppl - just writing this as its only way to get it out of my system !!! finding it hard at the min to release some shit im feeling as friends family are sick of listening to me...
im now 21 weeks pregnant on tuesday... iv started to feel kicks and lastnight i felt one with my hand on my side.. it was my happiest moment so far.. i was delighted.. so i contacted the Father Martin to let him know and thinking he might of been some what delighted or excited too... do you think iv heard anything back from him? NO... nothing... it kills me.. doing all this on my own and its so hard... my friend Amy is going out with Martin's friend Shane and they are going to a wedding.. Amy is dreading it as she doesnt get on with Martin... but Amy found out Martin has booked extra days with his new girlfriend there too... It hurt so much hearing it.. killing me he has totaly forgotten about me and doesnt care about his own child.. i thought it was going to get easy as id get use to the unwant from him but it getting so much harder...

over week ago we had a scan together and we got on great.. then last week we had been talking and getting on really well like we use too... and now he doesnt bother his arse...
Im getting more and more depressed.. i dont even want to work or leave my room - i get so afriad in town if i bump into him with his new girlfriend cos i know ill just break down and my heart just cant take it..
As much as everyone telling me to forget about him i cant.. at the end of the day he is the father of my child... i still have feelings still have a heart and love him..

The person he was when we were together was someone i never met before - i never loved someone as much as i did him.. and person he is now is a total Stranger... i dont know him one bit.. it confuses me soo much - To know someone so well and for when he loved me and i was all to him to now nothing to him ... i am actually nothing to him.. he doesnt care about me or his baby or all we had.. Which confuses me so much.. ughhhhhhhhh

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13 Comments on Father


happy out - Wednesday, 22 Jul
aw honey it will get easier but itll take time and its all still so fresh, your friends and family will never get tired of supporting you and ya have my number which ya should use anytime!! at the end of the day no one has th magic words to stop it hurting unfortunately. but it is his loss. im free anytime ya need it for lunch and a vent!!!

babyluv843 - Monday, 20 Jul
I hear you. I am married to the father of mine....but we got married after knowing each other a very short time......he is completly unsupportive, and say the meanest hurtfull things, I have honestly never been treated so bad and I really just want to get a divorice and forget about him. I guess god puts these trials on us women for a reason...i dont know. just know your not alone....and hey....be glad you didnt MARRY him!

HollyV - Monday, 20 Jul
aw hun i'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. try to look at it in the sense that u are experiencing every wonderful moment of this pregnancy and the bond u have with ur child cannot be broken. unfortunately he wont have experienced the wonderful things u have....and that is in no way ur fault! u have made efforts to include him and it's unfortunate that he's missing out on such a wonderful and important time. dont let yourself get down......you are going to have the most amazing relationship with ur child! i hope u feel better..........just try to concentrate on the miracle inside of u and enjoy every minute!

newmommy20 - Monday, 20 Jul
I totally feel you mama... I am in a similar situation, so I your not alone. IT is hard to get over that man, but we have to because being stressed out will only hurt baby.. Its hard not to I know.. But just keep busy and if your friends and fam get tired of hearing you I won't cause I can go on fr days with you honey.. A lot of men are "buttmunches"..lol.. But eventually time will allow us to get over them, and hey think of it as an opportunity to one day meet an even better man... He's out there... Maybe things will change maybe they won't.. just stay strong for baby.. I hope you feel a little better, I know when I wrote a blog like this the responses made me feel better.. So we are in this together girl!!!! Smile and be happy!!

percypig - Monday, 20 Jul
Hey Sarah, its tough isnt it?!
I really thought that the daddy would turn up to my 20 wk scan, but he let me down at the last minute. I had hoped it would wake him up to the reality of the situation, but he missed out on one of the most amazin parts of the pregnancy.
Its made me feel so so sad, i was movin on, or so i thought, gettin ready for life as a single mum. but now im gutted, i was sat after the scan, all on my own all night lookin at the pics, thinkin how things should be so diff.
i still love him so much, even though he has shown a diff side to him, n cos of this i still support him as he has recently lost his job (he still lives at mine, but is listed as in a relationship with someone else on Facebook?!?!?!) I just dont know how to be strong and get him out of my house, so i can really move on, cos i am so scared of bein well n truley on my own. im clingin on to somethin that went a long time ago :-(
xXx

EllaG - Monday, 20 Jul
Aw, I'm sorry that you are going through such a difficult time with Martin. It can't be easy, but coming from a background where my dad didn't care, I can safely say that I think you are both better off without him. If he has no interest, you can't force him to take part, and it is him that is losing out. All you can do is tell him that if he is prepared to be there for you and the baby, regardless of if you are together or not, then you will accept this, but if he is not going to give it 100%, then he might as well not be there at all. Hope you feel better soon hon. Continue to take joy in the little kicks and just know how lucky you are to experience this miracle. xx

mamagarces - Sunday, 19 Jul
i am so sorry you are going thru all this, especially right now. you should be able to enjoy every moment of your pregnancy, and instead you have to deal with this. my heart goes out to you. luckily in about another 20 weeks you will have your little bundle of joy to occupy all your thoughts and energies. and you will be so consumed with taking care of baby, and making sure that baby is well provided for, that you will not have time to stress about martin....
it will be hard at first, but you are strong, and your baby will not miss out on anything....
take care
my prayers are with you.

CryMommy09 - Sunday, 19 Jul
Im so sorry. I really hate men sometimes.

Jamie Lynn P. - Sunday, 19 Jul
I understand what your going through. I had my first daighter when I was 20 years old! Her dad and I met and accidently got pregnant! Everything was great, grand, and wonderful at first. But then he started doing some shady things, and this fell apart after that! He was there at the birth, and for the first few months after our baby was born. But then he moved out, got a new girlfriende and didnt give two sh*ts about me or our baby! I was mad (of course) and went a little crazy. LOL, your comment on you might break down if you saw them together! Well I found them together after he lied about being with her and we end up exchanging a few words...and a few punches. I thought I would never get over it...and things only got worse after that. I was crazy he turned crazy...but now 4 years later. I look back and I am so amazed at what I did by myself. I raised an amazing little girl, came to realize that I was actually better off without him, some people are not ment to be. I figured the only reason I got with him was to bring our amazing daughter into the world. Its not gonna get easier with a baby, and its still gonne hurt for awhile after him. But in the long run, it is better and you will move on, and hopefully 4 years from now your gonna be so happy. Now that him and I woke up to reality, we are great friends now. She visits him in Wisconson,while im in Texas. I even help him out with some of his problems. Its okay to be sad and mad, and hurt for a while or a long while. But trust me one day you will be better and happy

claire louise - Sunday, 19 Jul
Don't let him pull you down. you have to be strong! I know it's hard but look forward. It's you and baby what matters. It's only him missing out on this amazing adventure.x

masonnickey - Sunday, 19 Jul
Hey girl, its hard and of course everyone is telling you to forget about him but you will soon be a mommy and have nothing more then your child best interest on your mind. I don't know if you pray but maybe you should try. I hope that sooner or later he steps up to the plate and helps you out more since he is the father.

-avasmama- - Sunday, 19 Jul
aw hon, when your baby gets here that baby will be the only person who matters on the entire planet. You will be so in love that nothing else will matter. Having baby around will help you heal and move on. I'm sorry you are going thru this right now. Try and focus on the little miracle growing within you and if you ex doesn't want to bother then it is his loss.

littlemissfatty!! - Sunday, 19 Jul
Im sorry to hear ur goin thro this, in a way i can relate, i split wiv my bf when i hit 12 weeks - im now in week 28. it gets me down when i feel him kick or move as i feel Daddy is missin out on it all, I also know exactly what u mean about him being a diff person, when we was 2gether i swear i have never felt such love for some1 as i did for him, since we split he has been the nastiest most hurtful person i never dreamed he cud be, i dont even know him anymore. we dont seem to be able to even be civil at this moment in time and it gets me down alot. I dont have advice as i dont even know wot to do wiv myself sometimes but i do hope things startlooking up for u and improving and that u find the strength to move on from somewhere x x x