20-9-2008 - Here Comes Round 4

My mood while writing this blog: A Bit Down

Well Friends, unfortunately af showed up this morning. That was our third month of trying and I'm a little bit down about it. I had relaxed this past month and not thought too much about it, so I thought things might have happen for us, but not so. I'm a bit concerned because dh is 43 and I am 33, so we aren't getting younger and I know it makes it more difficult to conceive. Plus I would like to have two more if I can convince dh, so we really need to make it happen sooner rather than later. I really would've liked for my babies to be no more than two years apart in age, but that's not going to happen now. If nothing happens this next month then we will give it a rest for maybe two months, as my stepdaughter has her birthday in August, as does my little girl, so I don't want to have three kids birthdays all in August (although I know I can't afford to be too fussy about it). It feels like it will never happen and I've been through this before in a previous marriage where I tried to fall pregnant for years without any luck, I don't want to go through that again. I don't want to sound selfish, as I know I have a beautiful, healthy little girl, but I don't want her to be an 'only child' and I desperately want at least one more. Anyway, thank you for reading, I don't mean to complain as I know there are others worse off than me, but it's just a bit upsetting. Take care everyone and I wish you all well in TTC, or your pregnancy journey, or your everyday family life, whatever stage you are at. XXX