04-8-2010 - self concious

My mood while writing this blog: blah!

I guess most of you read my rant on the 17 week page. i cant makie him choose between his sister or i, thats just not right. i realize shes going through alot with her divorce but im going through alot too. she needs to realize that hes starting a family with me, the woman he has chosen, and she cant keep depending on him likes shes some feeble woman who just cant care for herself. she can weed her own yard! she can mow her own lawn! she cant just keep ignoring my pregnancy and stealing him away from me, i feel like its become this struggle between her and i, and hes the subject we are trying to win! she needs to stop bringing up his ex's. she picks him up so he doesnt drive his car and then hes dependant on her for the ride home since shes picked him up and she doesnt bring him home until 9pm somtimes!

and i need to realize that hes an adult, can go where he wants, and do as he pleases. i just wish he made more time for me. I also realize that im totally crazy right now! im so insecure and moody and clingy and that REALLY is not like me at all. i know sensibly that hes not cheating on me, everytime he walks out that door. but right now hes unemployed and has ALOT of free time and ive been so crazy i guess i wouldnt blame him. i just wish his sister wouldnt so happily encourage it. im so stressed right now over everything and i feel hes just not putting as much into this as i am. i dontk now. i really just dont think our realtionship is going to last much longer. :(