06-11-2009 - 31.5 Week Doctor Appointment

My mood while writing this blog: BLAH

Our appointment today didnt tell us anything unexpected but it's still shocking to hear. At our last appointment two weeks ago Sophia's estimated weight was 2 lbs 1 oz and this week she's at 2 lbs 6 oz so not much growth in the past 2 weeks. We are starting weekly fetal non stress test this coming Wednesday (11/11/09) but we will remain seeing the doctor every two weeks. Sophia's growth has slowed and my doctor thinks it's starting to level off and once a child in utero begins to level off in growth they have a greater risk of dying in utero. So with all that said, Sophia will be here within 4 to 5 weeks tops. If she remains on this same growth pattern she'll be about 3 lbs 5 oz at the time of the c-section. I know we were told this could happen at our last appointment but I had been praying that we could at least make it to mid-December but it looks like she'll be here in the first week instead.

When we left the doctors office I just couldnt believe we only have a month before she'll be here. This is the holiday season so time is flying by already and to top it off we have so many appointments coming up so that's going to make time go by even faster. Next week my son has an ortho appointment to tighten his braces and the next day is my first fetal non stress test. The following week (week 2) we repeat our fetal echocardiogram on the 18th and then the 20th is our 2 week follow up prenatal appointment. So either on the 16th, 17th, or 19th I'll have to schedule our 2nd fetal non stress test. The week after that (week 3) my kids are out of school from the 25th-27th for Thanksgiving holiday and I'll have a fetal non stress test at some point this week. Then we are already into week 4 and thats the week I'll have another 2 week prenatal follow up appointment and fetal non stress test. If she's not born that week then she'll be born between December 7th-11th. Plus, knowing she'll be born so early at some point between weeks 2 and 4 I need to put our Christmas tree up and our decorations so my kids will have some holiday cheer around them. I'll also be doing a consult with the developmental growth pediatricians during those weeks. Oh and lets not forget that I'll need to do some Christmas shopping at some point because I wont have time in December. Of course this is all while maintaning my house, kids, and marriage.

I had a dream lastnight about Sophia's birth. It was a c-section and she was tiny but not as small as they thought. I woke up in recovery knowing she was born but not remembering anything because the doctors gave me something that knocked me out and I was upset about that. So when I woke up my husband was in the NICU with Sophia and my mom and two other people were with me. I dont remember who the other two people were.... Anyhow, so we start walking to the NICU and I asked my mom how things looked with Sophia and she said, "they are worse than we thought." I stopped dead in my tracks and started to cry asking her what she meant. Then she tells me, "She's missing fingers on both hands, she's missing her radius bones in both arms, her arms are severly shortened, she cant move her left elbow, and she doesnt weigh very much, and she has a heart defect." Well, thats not worse cause thats what we expect..... So I go into the NICU and I pick up my sweet baby girl and I just start to nurse her. She latches on like a pro and we just sat there, the two of us, and bonded. When I nursed her in my dream I cried thinking of how perfect she was........

Today my doctor kept assuring me that i'll see Sophia no matter what when she's born unless she's so critical that they have to take her right away to surgery or something. She told me that my kids will be able to go into the back (not the OR) but the room just before the OR to see her before she's taken to the NICU. She'll probably be in an incubator but at least they'll have that moment to see her before she's taken away since they wont be able to see her while she's in the hospital.

Maybe out of all of us, I'll be the first to deliver........