sheework's I-am-pregnantblog

sheework
sheework has 175 days to go and is now in week 15
	Age: Country: USA Province/region: Arizona City: Gilbert Partner: Yes Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 07 Aug ,2012 Occupation: Sahm
	Online: 29 days ago. Last updated: 496 days ago. Member since: 1254 days
\| Profile \| Photos (25) \| Children (1) \| Blog (56) \| Polls (6) \| Agenda (4) \| Comments added (901) \| Notepad

Members

Write a new blog

08-12-2008 - Anger

My mood while writing this blog:
undecided

Here I am almost three months after I lost the baby and I am angry. I am angry at all the pregnant woman who are so happy to be pregnant, I am angry at my friends who are pregnant and want to tell my it will happen just wait, I am angry that my b/f doesn't cry about it like I do, I am angry that I couldn't carry my baby to full term, I am angry when I see people and they ask me how I am doing. I am angry and I am not an angry person. This loss has consumed the joy I once had over the thought of being a mother, now the idea has me filled with what ifs and maybes. I still can't talk about it to my closest friend who have been nothing but there for me, I still can't look Zach in the eye and say we will have our babies. My heart is heavy with grief and anger when all I want it filled with is joy. I just want to go back to the time when my mind wasn't consumed by these feelings of anger and loss.

5 Comments on Anger

metsmom - Tuesday, 9 Dec
Im there too! I stay angry and ive been that way since the day I found out I lost my son. I wish I could tell you when it goes away. Its been 2 mos for me and im still just as angry. I know that days get better, I know that people say my time will come. I avoid my gf's that are pregnant or anyone who has little kids. I too get mad at my BF because he seems to have moved on. So let yourself feel it, its a stage we must go through to get to the next one. Hopefully our days get better and our outlook gets brighter! HUGS

anisa - Tuesday, 9 Dec
sheework anger is so normal when you have expierienced loss in life when i lost 2 chilren i was also very angry with the world i uesd to wish peoples babies would die, i promise you you will fall pregnant and have a baby just give it time. i understand completely what you are going through,having lost 2 of my own , if you want to chat dont hesitae to email me at anisa.bronks@hotmail.com. all the best .

402nikkib - Monday, 8 Dec
wow! That had to help a little bit! Sometimes writing it out or screaming it at the world is what helps me the most...I was like that too.
Its really hard to see the friends you made on here still progressing in their journey, especially the ones that had the same due date...thats hard for me to see their bellies still growing and the pictures they post....its like WTF thats suppose to be me too!! That pisses me off, but I cant be mad at them...its not anyones fault...but its hard... not to think about what could have been...I really want my baby back too! Everyone was soo happy about it and I felt like I let everyone down...just a huge disappointment, but Im stonger then that now...Im trying to believe that it wasnt my fault and if I get pregnant again things will be different...no matter how we feel the days will keep coming...and soon all of this will be behind us...your in my thoughts!! 2009 has to be better!! nic

obscurette - Monday, 8 Dec
oh hunny, I send you the biggest warm fuzzy I can muster up right now! my heart breaks to hear how you are feeling. It's so hard isn't it. I lost my baby boy in August. it seems both so long ago and just the other day....

its ok to be angry right now. goodness sake be as angry as you need to be for as long as you need! its part of your grieving and you are allowed to do it! I know for myself I have trouble seeing that happy feeling as well... all I keep telling myself is that I am allowed to feel the way I feel and then someday my tears will turn into a smile. its a short straw to grasp but at least its somethin. take care of yourself. keep talking and venting and being on here. we will get through this together. we will never forget our little ones. take care X

roosa - Monday, 8 Dec
Awww, sweetie, I know words don't help, but please know that anger is a very natural stage of grief. I too was angry at everything and everyone. Sometimes at nothing specific, I was just angry. It will slowly ease. I hope you will soon be able to share with your friend as I believe sharing is an important part of healing. You are honestly lucky that your old friend has been there for you - I had to find new friends after my loss. But please take your time, let no one pressure you into doing and feeling certain ways, but allow yourself to feel whatever you feel for as long as you feel it, including anger. Hugs, Karin

Photos