05-7-2009 - Updates..Updates..Updates!

My mood while writing this blog: mixed feelings

Where to start...well I guess I'll start with how I can't believe that in a few more weeks I'll be a mom! I feel like we just embarked on this insanely crazy journey and now it's coming to an end so soon. I'm excited and anxious but also scared and I have anxiety over how fast time is passing.

I'm back to working full time and although the money is nice to have, it's definitely taking a toll on me physically and mentally. Physically because little Jack is dropping early which my midwife and my aunt (who worked woth a midwife for many years) both agree is due to my still doing 7 or more pedicures a day at the salon. The position replicates birthing positions to ready your body for the big day. So I'm at least cutting back on that. Otherwise, my back is sore and tired and I have a permanent knot under my right shoulder blade. My husband works it out every night but the next day it knots up again. I'm going to go to a chiropractor to see if that helps as well.

I had my glucose test 2 weeks ago and haven't heard anything which is a good sign. If I failed, I would've gotten a call over a week ago. So yay for that! Jack is moving tons now and sleeping is definitely getting harder. My poor husband is freezing at night with the windows open and the ceiling fan on high but I sweat to death if it isn't on.

The nursery is coming together really well and my shower is in exactly 2 weeks now! I'm so excited for it! Although I've already had quite a few people say they weren't going to make it, I'm not super worried (yet!) because we decided that one big shower was easier than several little ones and my in laws church is letting us use one of the huge rooms (McKinney Hall) for free! So we invited a total of I think 70 people including everyone at my work. Fun stuff right? Haha.

Now for the stressful part... Most of you already know that my husband will be losing his job in the fall, hopefully AFTER Jackson is born. So everything we had planned out is now flipped upside down. Isn't that always the way? But at least now Eric will have time to help me out and spend time getting to know his son. He'll also be going back to school for nursing which is great. Way better job security and the starting pay is good too. My in laws have offered to help us financially if we need although we should be able to live on just the unemployment. It's nice of them to offer and they said it was because my husband's sister has been in school for 4 years and they've been able to pay for a good chunk of it whereas my husband paid for his own schooling out of pocket when he went and that's why he didn't finish it out.

The other problem I guess I'm having is that I hate seeing so many people that have things that they haven't had to work for. I'm by no means perfect and I love my family and they're so supportive and helpful. But everything we have, we've earned on our own. I paid for my own schooling, our cars, etc. And we've worked hard to have these things. I don't get it I guess. I hate seeing people get things handed to them constantly and then I feel like other people wonder why we can't afford this or that. Well neither can those other people, it's just that they didn't have to earn it or work for it.

Blah. I don't know. So yes, I'm wicked happy to be a mommy soon but I do worry. So keep me in your thoughts/prayers.

Hope everyone is well!!!