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12-6-2008 - not long to go now

My mood while writing this blog: tired

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Yesterday I was really scared and convinced myself my baby was coming the pain was unbelievable and I just couldn't manage to get out of bed without being in pain. I'm starting to wonder whether I am imagining it half the time. I woke up today with the mindset that the baby is not going to come yet it's far too early and on looking at my stomach it is clear to see that my bump has dropped loads. I guess he is just moving down and getting ready to come bang on time.

I decided that rather than feeling sorry for myself and annoying my partner when he gets home from work that I would do something a little more productive today. So I cleaned the house from top to bottom, every inch. I also have written a few more pages of my book that I was determined to finish before the baby is born and I hope to be published and I finally decided on a pushchair life couldn't have been more exciting for me today (not).

I want to know when I will feel like a human being again, I don't seem to want to interact with anybody really and have avoided going out of the house as I don't want to hobble round on crutches.

My partner is being so patient but I'm sure is avoiding coming home for lunch now but who could blame him when I'm always on a downer.

I have decided that enough is enough and I will smile and be happy and not say another word about how shit I'm feeling right now.

I think having sex only three times since I've been pregnant hasn't helped but I'm not going to go there either as he is clearly not feeling it which makes me want it more.

Tomorrow will be a wonderful day, Before being off from work on leave I used to love Fridays and the weekends so I will just try and remember what it felt like.

XX

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