30-4-2009 - Growing up is hard...on mommy.

My mood while writing this blog: Sentimental

Dear Carter,

Hello, my dear sweet boy. You are 10 ½ months old now. Today is actually Grace’s birthday; she has turned six. It makes my heart hurt to think of how fast these years have gone and that before I can even blink, you will be there soon. You are the sweetest little man and my heart seriously expands just thinking about you. I have tears welling up in my eyes for no other reason that I wish I could bottle up each moment with you, so I never forget.

That is my biggest fear… that I will forget all of these special, precious moments. How good you smell, your toothless grin (well in the center anyway), your plump little body that holds on so tight. The way your face lights up when I walk in the room and you vigorously army crawl across the room to reach me.

I am already missing the things that you currently do even though you are still doing them, because I know I will forget. I need to remember to live in the moment, absorb everything. I write about this frequently with you, but still I am afraid. You are my last baby and with that, these are the last times I will be this intimate with a baby. Of course my friends will have babies, family will bring over their children to share, perhaps you one day will have kids of your own. But, you are mine and you are the last. There is nothing in this world more indescribable as being a mother.

So, since I should be focusing on what you are doing now, instead of feeling the loss of what I will be missing soon, let me share. At your last Dr.’s appointment, you weighed 21 lbs and some odd ounces. You are a very content soul. You watch, listen, and enjoy. You are getting busier and more active; however you are still able to just take in the scene. This is how you are different from you brother and sister. I am sure that at some point soon, you will be racing to join them, but for now you enjoy watching. You are not a picky eater; you just eat what you are served. Some of the things I notice that you devour are grated cheese, bananas, and macaroni. We try all different types of foods and I can honestly say that I don’t remember you pushing anything away. I started weaning you from breastfeeding in earnest about three weeks ago. Up until a couple days ago, I was still feeding you at least once or twice a day, however yesterday I didn’t feed you at all. You don’t seem to even notice. I think that is the way it should be too.

You are still doing an army crawl, but do get up on your knees as you approach an object that you want to pull up to. You can climb the stairs like a pro. You do not really say many words yet, although you have experimented at some point with mamma and dada. You know how to wave bye-bye and bark like a dog. You are infatuated with Ellie and Oliver and make every attempt to crawl over to them or to the window to watch them in the yard. You are a grunter! Every movement you make is accentuated with a grunt, whether it be crawling or pulling up or grabbing at toys. Always grunting…so much effort!

So, now I am smiling. I can’t wait to get home and watch and enjoy all the things I just described. My little man…for a few more years…you are all mine.

I love you!

Love Always,

Mommy