16-11-2009 - Thanksgiving Blessings

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

November 16, 2009

Dear Grace, Jake and Carter,

I am sitting at my desk at work, not really wanting to be here. It is a slow day and slow season and so my thoughts keep drifting to you all. I just spent the last little bit reading all my letters to you all and I was making myself get all watery-eyed. I cannot even begin to comprehend where this last year has gone, but gone it almost is.

We are starting to make our preparations for Thanksgiving and have even started our Christmas shopping. It is so much fun to shop for you kids…I wanted to get you everything, even though I know that toys don’t bring happiness. Watching you eye your presents over the coming weeks and then the big reveal on Christmas day brings me happiness though. It makes me feel like a kid all over again too. Kind of selfish of me…I know.

So with Thanksgiving only a week or so away, I thought I would write what I am thankful for and take a moment to consider our many blessings.

I am thankful for such a beautiful, loving, caring and supportive husband. Without your daddy, things would not be nearly as good as they are. He takes such wonderful care of us all and works so hard for all of us. And I know that he loves us to the moon and back an infinite amount of times. And Grace, if you read this one day, he even loves you to the alien planet past the moon.

I am thankful for you, my amazing children. I break out in a smile just thinking of you. I nearly cry tears of laughter when I describe some of the antics of Jake…our ever busy, mischievous, little man. My heart expands with pride as I watch over Grace read her books or practice her writing skills…even the notes that ask me to stay out of her room because she is mad at me. And Carter baby, I have this certain fondness for the way you wake up each morning. You want to tuck your sweet little arms into me as far they can possible go. You try not to make eye contact, but within moments a little smile breaks out across your lips and your eyes get that sparkle in them. Then, you grunt and quickly look away, pretending to be grouchy all over again.

I am thankful that despite the hardships this year, we have become even closer as a family. Grace, you and I visited Grandma two weekends ago. I told you prior to our visit that I might cry. I feel that it is very important for you to see our true emotions so that you never feel you have to hide any from us either. When we got there, you grabbed my hand with your little hand and we walked across the lawn together. I could feel your thumb rubbing back and forth over my hand to give me comfort. You told me it was ok to cry and that Grandma was there with us. What a beautiful gift you gave me Sweet Grace. I think that is one memory I will tuck away and keep forever.

When I was a young girl and even into the first years of my marriage to daddy, I never dreamed I would have children. I was so scared of being responsible for someone else. Scared I would mess up and make a mess of things. But, you guys truly give me hope and purpose and I am thankful everyday that you chose us. You are our Thanksgiving blessings.

With all this said and remembered…and a tear in my eye…I end my letter: I love you from the tippy top of my head to the bottoms of my toes.

Love Always,

Mommy