soontobemommyof2's I-am-pregnantblog

soontobemommyof2
	Age: 27 Country: US Province/region: Michigan City: canton Partner: My daughter Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Medical Assistant
	Online: 3 days ago. Last updated: 5 days ago. Member since: 216 days
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11-6-2008 - Saturday May 03 2008

My mood while writing this blog:
confused/angry

Well, the doctor was in nice as can be words a complete JERK! He didnt help me at all! He didnt have any of my test results, I had to tell him I was negative for Downs and Spinal Bifida, he then went on to tell me I had to be tested for Spinal B. and I said did you not hear what I just said, it was negative, he then said well dont forget its only 90%, there is a 10% chance your baby still can have it?!?! WOW! The nerve!! I did test positive for a virus called "CMV" which doing all my research is a very common virus contracted by almost everyone by the time we are adults, there are two important tests the Igg and Igm, you want a positive Igg, but a negative Igm, well I am positive both!! :( working in the health industry could be how I was recently re-exposed, but with reading (no doctor help) I am learning that being that I was already infected the chances are lower of my baby getting a disease than a woman who was Igg - before but contacting it during her pregnancy....still none of this makes it any better for me,

some things that could be wrong with my baby are: About 85 to 90 percent of newborns with congenital CMV have "silent" infections, meaning that they have no symptoms at birth. The vast majority of these babies continue to do well and end up having no CMV-related complications. (Some of these babies — about 5 to 15 percent —develop problems later, most commonly hearing loss.)

The other 10 to 15 percent of newborns infected with CMV in the womb have serious complications that are present at birth, such as central nervous system abnormalities, growth restriction, an unusually small head, an enlarged spleen and liver, jaundice, and a rash caused by bleeding underneath the skin. Some of these babies die. And up to 90 percent of the survivors end up with serious long-term health problems, which may include hearing loss, visual impairment, mental retardation, and other neurological problems. as I read the % SAYS to be low to give it to the baby, but all I can focus on is what if?! I had an ultrasound at around 12wks and nothing came back on that, then the 18wk one showed the echogenic bowel.....they want me to do amnio, well the one rude dr mentioned it...my thought why would I risk the chance to miscarry at 20 wks when there is nothing they can do, then the selfish part of me, wonders how would I be able to do this alone if something is wrong with him??? I am so lost, I just cry all the time, my daugther is at her fathers this weekend, and yesterday I was a complete mess.....I dont have internet at home, so my mom is allowing me to stay at her house all day if need be to research this....I am so scared, the dad called me yesterday, I wanted to scream to him about what I am going through....apart of me feels I need him, but as I earlier said, he isnt who I thought, tho I love him very much, I want our baby to be healthy....selfish I know, and I feel so guilty to openly type that, for the brave parents out there dealing with disabled children, I dont know if I can do it?! I hope I can get answers because right in this moment, my head, heart and body hurt...:(

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