soontobemommyof2's I-am-pregnantblog

soontobemommyof2
	Age: 27 Country: US Province/region: Michigan City: canton Partner: Kevin Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: No Occupation: Medical Assistant
	Online: 3 days ago. Last updated: 3 days ago. Member since: 221 days
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11-6-2008 - Wednesday May 07 2008

My mood while writing this blog:
devistated

Can I please scream OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yesterday was horrible, I met with a very nice doctor who did in fact go through everything with me, turns out that yes because I work in a pediatric office, thats most likely the reason why I was around the virus CMV....great......so I asked him what the next step would be to find out more, he said an amnio, I asked when should I get it, he said now. So after a half hour of debating the 1:300 ratio for a miscarriage, I went for it...I couldnt watch the screen, but they said he was very still for them. After that was over the lady did some measurments and I did see more echogenic bowel in him...she then asked if I seen him yawn and I said no, so she rewinded the tape and there my lil boy was yawning in there, I held it all in to NOT cry....my thought how the hell can something be wrong with something that looks fine?! While measuring the baby's head (most likely to see if he has microcephally which would show his brain is not growing) she then had the doctor come in and immediately he asked if I had cats and I said yes, thinking oh you lil sh*t heads better not have gotten my baby sick?! So now they tested me for toxoplasmosis or semia, I dont remember it was a rough day, so THEN he saw possible fluid in the babies abdomen...which he said could be nothing or anemia, so tomorrow I have to go to a high risk genetic hospital and meet a doctor there because if my baby is anemic (on top of all this other crap) he will need a blood transfusion in utero?!?! I am very much trying to have faith, but right in this moment, its way too hard....I now almost know something is going to be wrong with him.....its just what?! If its CMV he most likely would lead a horrible miserable life and I dont see it fair to bring that on him, however he is so very much wanted, this is a horrible place to be, I am now feeling what it is to be that 1% that we all dont think we could ever be. I dont like talking about the baby right now, I already feel I lost him. My stomach is so sore from that darn needle, cramping just a tiney bit....I have been asking God to please fix my lil one, protect him and let him be just fine......I think he may be a lil busy at the moment, because WOW, all this....so much in less than what 2 wks???? I did tell the dad yesterday about everything, he is very upset, I had to finally let him know about the baby and all of this just in case I did loose him. If praying and miracles do exist, please please send one my way...

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