04-12-2008 - After observing...

My mood while writing this blog: Bored & Slightly amused

Everything seems to be getting on my nerves these days. Work drags on and on and on…most days it seems like it will never end. I literally have a count down I do every day to try to pep myself up. Today I keep telling myself tomorrow is Friday (and then in my warped head I hear angels singing and trumpeting lol). So, maybe it’s a product of being bored, or maybe it’s just my extreme tiredness and irritability, but I have been noticing a pattern to some of my more irritating coworkers. I have begun classifying them, much like a science experiment.

The Announcer

This is the person who announces everything they do. “Just heading to the bathroom”, “Gotta go get some lunch”, “Sharpening my pencil”, “Oh, look, I need some more water”. These people feel the need to announce out loud to everyone every single move they make and thought they have. Once you get over the obnoxious part, it’s really quite humorous to observe these people. And try to guess what they will be announcing next.

The Commentator

This person is very similar to The Announcer, however instead of announcing every thing they do, they announce or comment on everything you do. Classic examples include “Oh, look how big you’ve gotten”, “You’re wearing that pink shirt…again”, “Oh, baby must need some food because you’re eating…again”, "Oh, you going to the bathroom?". While I have tried to find The Commentator amusing, I just cannot. It is so infuriating to have someone comment on every single thing you do. I have found avoiding or just plain rudeness works best for these people.

The Repeater

This is the person who does not easily fit in. They try their best to find something to say to people, perhaps a joke they think it extremely funny (but generally never is) and then hang onto that little piece of conversation for days. You can hear The Repeater go around to all your fellow coworkers and proceed to tell them the same joke, anecdote, story, sentence, etc., that you have heard them tell every other person in the office. Some times they even forget they have told you and guess what, they REPEAT! These people can be humorous to observe, but generally only when they are preying on other people and have already visited you, so you know you are safe until the next round.

The Stalker

This is by far the most intriguing person yet. They are generally very sweet, so it’s difficult to be mean to them, but they are also the most annoying, so it’s hard not to snap. These people study you. They remember every little thing you have ever said. They will come into your cube/office and notice if you have moved a picture. They love to guess everything about you. You get flowers, they assume they know all about you and why you got the flowers “Oh, what did he do wrong this time?” Sometimes these people can be confused with The Commentator, but they are a much more reclusive and observant type. They love to “sidle” up to you and pop into your cube behind you when you have no clue that they are anywhere around. When you find yourself immersed into a private conversation with another coworker, they will all of the sudden be next to you and commenting on your last statement. On rare occasions, but in the case of my coworker, they love to try to finish your sentence, and in extreme conditions (again, in the case of my coworker) they will stare at your lips while you talk and try to simultaneously say your sentence with you. Sometimes this is not even noticeable until someone else points it out. Then you cannot help but focus on it every time they speak to you. There’s really nothing you can do about The Stalker. They find you no matter where you are. They pop up when you least expect it. They remember a small detail you mentioned one time years ago. You have to be rude to these people to make them understand they are not being friendly, but scary.

The Drama Queen

This is the person who has a new, emergent drama every single day. She will sit in her cube and talk loudly on her recorded phone line about her cheating husband, her misbehaved children, her bank account balance, her past due bills, etc. She does not care if everyone hears all her dirty laundry. She, in fact, welcomes it. She cries at least once a week and she loves to corner you and tell you all about her problems, which usually involve way too much information, especially since you are not friends with this person, you only have the misfortune to work in the same department. While avoidance is best for this type of person, you find yourself drawn into her dramatic world, much like watching a bad soap opera but not being able to make yourself change the channel.

The DeathTalker

This type can be combined with any of the aforementioned personalities. This is the person who turns you around in your tracks when you see them coming. This is the person who corners you and proceeds to talk to you about nothing and everything, until your ears are ringing, your head is hurting and your feet are sore. These people love to catch their prey with the bait and switch method. They bait you with a simple inquiry "how's it going", "how was your weekend", "got any big plans tonight" only so they can then tell you about themselves. Even if you have gotten smart to their tactics, and only reply with a "yes" or "no" or "fine", they still manage to switch it around on you and make it all about them. Avoid, avoid, avoid!!!!

The Complainer

Last but not least, we have The Complainer. Lately I have found myself in this group. This person is generally in a bad mood, is extremely irritable 24/7, and is best avoided at all costs. Whatever you do, do not let this person interact with any of the types listed above, or else! This person is not pleasant to be around and can shut you up with one withering glance. Sometimes pregnancy hormones are to blame. Please take care when you see this type. For your own good.