26-12-2008 - Christmas from hell

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

Well the day started out a little rocky as DH wasn't feeling well Christmas Eve and was very assy. I was also. So the next morning we are supposed to be at my family's house at 1. At 12:00 I had just finished showering and told DH he needed to start getting ready. Half an hour later he decided to finally put down his video game and get dressed. At that point I was almost ready and told him I would be leaving without him if he wasn't ready when I was. He does this all the time. So, I left to go to my parents and he followed behind about 20 minutes later. We had a nice time at my parents. We exchanged gifts - my sister got me an amazing antique set of Alice in Wonderland & Thru the Looking Glass. Everyone was happy and in a good mood. Well, we left there and went home to walk the dogs and made up and headed out to DH's aunt's house. I was dreading this trip, but thought okay it's christmas, suck it up and at least act like you're having a good time. Well, the trip out was nice DH & I talked and held hands. About 5 minutes before we get there his mother is calling yelling about where are we and how her headlights are not working on dim. This is how it always starts. We are either called before we get there or end up being told once we get there that someone needs something like beer or cards or lottery tickets, whatever, and we are sent after it or someone needs something worked on so for some reason DH is the one who always has to do it. Seeing as everything is closed on xmas day, nothing can be done about worn out bulbs. Well, we get there and his cousin comes to the car and hugs me and rubs my belly - I LOVE his cousin. She and I have bonded I guess you could say from the moment we met. Well, then his mother comes running out yelling about her car and looks at me and tells me that she doesn't even want to talk to me and some other craziness. So, I started my mantra of the day - It's Christmas, can't we just all get along and have a good time. So DH is like your bulbs are blown, let's go inside. We get inside and I see his aunt and she proceeds to to the same I don't want to talk to you crap. I tell them again, it's Christmas, let's all be happy. She has had her kitchen and dining room redone so I tell her how beautiful it looks. She walks into the other room without responding. She proceeds to stay in the other room and ignore me for most of the time we are there. Well, then his mother sits me down at the kitchen table and proceeds to hound me about anything and everything and is telling me how she is going have my child and be all over her all the time. I had heard too much at this point and my maternal instincts kicked in and I told her we had been waiting 2 yrs for this baby and she is my first so they are going to need to back off some and give me some space. Well then she goes off on me and starts telling me how her and her mother and everyone else WILL be all over my child and all this crap. Then she starts in about how she bets I am not even going to call anyone when I go into labor. I don't know if DH had mentioned this to her or what. I was blindsided. I told her that we would call her once the baby was born. So she goes off about that and keeps demanding that they be called when I go into labor. I said no one is going to be in the room with me besides DH. So then she tells me that no one cares who is in the room with me (this is the woman who previously argued for a good half an hour with me about how she WOULD be in the room with me when I delivered) but everyone WOULD be there to see the baby brought out and into the nursery and how I better call as soon as I go into labor and then she starts threatening me telling me she knows where I live and what hospital I will be at. Once again I had heard enough and been attacked enough that I was again like It's christmas, can't we just be happy. Well, out of nowhere she decides to ask me how her cat is doing. This would be the cat that she forced on DH a couple of years ago because she couldn't have any animals at the place she was moving to (although she kept the cat she gave us's mother). The cat died - of natural causes, we just found it dead one morning last year in the fall - and DH hadn't told her because he knew she would go crazy. Now I am an animal person. I cried when I found the cat. He was old and sweet. Well, I decided now was the time since I was no longer going to lie about the cat and I told her he passed away. So then she accuses me of letting the cat freeze to death - he didn't even die when it was cold out - and when DH says he didn't she says well his mother is still alive! Well, after a good 15 - 20 minutes more of this she decides she has to leave because she has a long drive home and only bright lights. So, then I end up in the kitchen with DH's grandmother who proceeds to look me up and down and tell me that I have gotten so huge that I absolutely have to be carrying twins. Seeing as I was heavy before getting pregnant, weight is a touchy subject with me. Everyone else has said all I have gained is just a baby belly. So, I say well, I'm not. She tells me that I could be and just not know it. I said I have had lots of u/s and no, it's just the one. So then she tells me how her mother was carrying twins and one died. GREAT! Just what I want to hear. So, I excuse myself and go outside, telling everyone I am hot and need some fresh air. DH's sister - who I also love - comes and brings us a gift - lots of cute little clothes for baby girl and hugs me and tells me how excited she is and can't wait. So DH and I then go in and hand out gifts to the kids, they open them and everything has settled down for a while, DH's cousin tells us again how happy she is for us (she recently had a m/c). The phone rings and I am told it's for me. I don't know who woudl be calling me but I am told it's my MIL. Great! So I am trying to hear her while a dozen kids are running aroun screaming. She tells me she loves her gift and then she starts in on me again how I better call her when I go into labor and blah blah blah. I just hold the phone until she finally tells me to let her talk to DH. Then DH's aunt decides it's her turn. So she comes in, half lit from all the mixed drinks she's been sucking down, and attacks me about how I never call her and how I WAS going to start calling her. I told her again, I don't talk on the phone to even my parents, I just don't enjoy talking on the phone. This is a talk we have had several times - every time I see them in fact - because the few times I have talked to her on the phone she proceeds to talk about nothing and hang out on the phone for 2 hrs or more and every time DH talks to her there's something she needs done - her taxes, brakes put on her car, something at her house fixed, etc. So she starts yelling at me. I told her if she wants to email me, which is how I talk to my mother, that I will be more than happy to email back and forth but I would not be calling her on the phone. DH's sister chimed in at this point and said she is the same way and hates talking on the phone too. She went off on me for a good 15 minutes until DH's cousin eventually told her she needed to chill out and quit drinking. Well, things calmed down for a few minutes (she was in the corner making snide remarks) and then I said something to DH's grandmother and she chimes in again about how no one would know anything since I never call. DH talks to them at least once a week. Anyways, she lights into me again. So I just shut up and sit back in my chair and ignore her. A few minutes later I told DH it was time to go. So as I am standing by the door his aunt is like "You're trying to sneak out without hugging me". I was so done at this point. The woman had ignored me most of the evening and then verbally assaulted me the rest of the night until her own daughter felt bad enough for me to tell her she needed to shut up and she thinks I want to hug her? Well, I did and even managed to mutter out Merry Christmas. I cried the whole way home and half the night. DH couldn't understand why I was so upset. I finally told him that my family would NEVER treat me that way and if they did I would cuss them out and never speak to them again. I stayed up half the night thinking about it and crying. I don't want these people in my life. I love DH more than anything and he is nothing like them, but he also fails to see why seeing them upsets me. I am yelled at every time I go out there. If we go out once a month, I am still yelled at. They take and take and take and then yell at me constantly so what am I getting out of the relationship besides stress? And who attacks a pregnant woman on Christmas? Seriously, I say attacked because I have never felt so horrible in all my life. I cannot even begin to write and explain how I was treated or spoken to. I never want to go around these people again, much less have my child around them. What upsets me the most is that it's not that his Aunt and mother care so much about what's going on with us - it's because they are constantly wanting something done for them or to "borrow" money and because everyone else's girlfriend is like 18 and doesn't have family, so they stay right up under them and let them tell them what to do and how to do it. I am grown and don't need some people that think verbally attacking me is okay to tell me what to do. Ugh. Sorry you are having to read this! I had to get this out. I seriously laid awake for hours because I was so upset about this and my eyes are still all puffy from no sleep and crying.