stargazer530's I-am-pregnantblog

stargazer530
	Age: 28 Country: United States Province/region: South City: Nashville Partner: Married Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Not anymore Occupation: Reimbursement Analyst
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 378 days ago. Member since: 554 days
\| Profile \| Photos (34) \| Children (1) \| Blog (43) \| Polls (0) \| Agenda (0) \| Comments added (137) \| Notepad

Members

Write a new blog

30-4-2009 - Mother's Day

My mood while writing this blog:
Ok

So...my first Mother's Day is coming up. Mother's Day the past couple of years has been really hard since all I could think about was the little life I lost and how I should have been a mother. This year everything changes...I have my precious little girl to rejoice in and be thankful for and boy am I. So, I should be looking forward to the day, right? Not so much. All I can do is think about having to visit the MIL. I haven't seen her since a week after my delivery. To update on my issues with her, I think most of you know how horrible she was to me over Christmas. Well, for the woman who demanded at first to be in the delivery room and then demanded she be called as soon as I went into labor so she could be there and see the baby immediately, she was called as soon as Lorelai was born - 12:37 on a Friday afternoon. So, she couldn't make it Friday, right? SO Saturday rolls around, she's working and can't. Then Sunday comes and we're discharged and imagine who manages to make it to my house almost before I can get home - that's right, the woman who couldn't get to the hospital (the hospital that is about 15 min from my house). So here I am tired and exhausted and having the pains when I am breastfeeding and can barely sit without screaming because of stitches from my tear since my LO decided her shoulder needed to come thru with her head. Well, dear MIL decided to bring along her son, his girlfriend (who I have never met) and their two kids - one who is a screaming, misbehaving, tantrum throwing nightmare. They come in and take over my house, the kid is running around screaming and all I can think about is wishing I could pull a twilight zone super kid and wish them all away into the cornfield so I can spend some time with my child and get some much needed rest since it was visiting 24/7 it seemed in the hospital. Well, as soon as she walks in the door she is bitching at me because Lorelai has nothing but a diaper on. I told her my lactation nurse told me to do skin to skin with her to help promote my milk to come in and bonding. She thought that was ridiculous and told me so. Then she has an issue with the fact that I am using Purex Free and Clear instead of Dreft. Then she declares the diaper rash cream I have won't work, that the brand she uses for her other grandchild is the only kind that does. It went on from there - why does she have a room when she should be sleeping in yours (well, she's eventually going to need someone to stay and put her things, duh?).
At Christmas she made a big point of telling me how she was going to buy presents for her grandbaby (the woman has never bought a xmas present as far as I know for as long as I have known her). His family always throws everyone a baby shower, even for 2+ kids and they didn't do anything for us. Well, his mother brings us half a bag of NB diapers (we already told her Lorelai started out in size 1) and a box of clothes her preemie grandchild had outgrown, truthfully stained and ugly clothes. I did go so far as washing them and folding them but I cannot bring myself to use any of them since they came from her. It would have been a nice thought if she truthfully couldn't afford anything but she manages to afford enough booze to keep herself blissed out 24/7. And she told me not to buy her any clothes because she would be giving us all her leftovers. I told her politely I had already bought enough clothes for my child for her entire first year, so many she probably wouldn't be able to wear them all, so we appreciated the thought but it really isn't necessary. Well, that was bad enough and I endured politely. Thankfully we called my parents to come and meet his mom and my dad asked how I was feeling and I said hurting and tired and he made a point of saying loudly that he bet I was so DH's family left. But, not before his mother had called his sister and she said she wanted to visit so MIL invited herself back with the sister. Well, they were coming that following Sunday. I made DH make sure and ask his mother multiple times if it would just be her and the sister and I guess the sister's 2 kids. DH asked and asked, even when his MIL was on her way and she said just the sister and her kids. Well, they pull up and there's 2 cars - once again, the MIL, her son, his girlfriend, their 2 kids, the sister and her two kids. I thought good grief. And I had cooked for them and was worried about having enough to feed them - bbq chicken, grilled hotdogs, homemade potato salad and baked beans. Well, then I hear her on the phone calling her other son and asking why he isn't there yet. So about an hour later he shows up with his girlfriend and their little terror who at Christmas was running around with a huge butcher knife until I was like OMG where did he get that and his mother took it from him - no one was watching him. Well, to say the least I was thoroughly pissed. I didn't even want the MIL back but then she invites all these people and hell raising kids into my house when I have only been home a week? How do you invite people to someone else's house? So, the first thing she says when she comes in the door is what am I feeding the baby. I said formula. I guess from my tone she realized this was not open for debate (I already felt like a failure myself for having to use formula since it took 5 days for my milk to come in and when it did finally it still wasn't enough to satisfy her - I didn't need her smack talking me for it). Then she starts in AGAIN like she did on the first visit about the various things around my house that she likes and wants me to give her - a car of my dad's outside to which I said he's not selling it and she replied she would work her charms on him and he would sell it (may I mention the woman is not only a raving nutcase and a drunk but NOT attractive in the least), a ceramic thing that was my mom's, a Van Gogh painting (by this time I was so tired of hearing what posessions of mine she had decided I should take off my wall, shelf, etc and give to her that I just said "You can get one for about $20 at Bed Bath and Beyond and then she said "oh, then I don't want that" - I am guessing she was stupid enough to think it was worth something?), and our grill - which we were using at the time. She kept on about the grill and asked me why I wouldn't talk DH into letting her have it and I said well, because then we would have to buy another one since we use it. WTH? I ended up taking over the grilling from DH because I couldn't handle being in the same room with the woman. Then she followed me outside. Apparently once the baby that everyone couldn't wait to see and hold fell asleep she decided to throw her in her crib. The baby had not been out of my arms the entire week and had never slept in her crib. When my family visits, they hold her when she sleeps since they love her and want to spend time with her. I didn't really understand why she couldn't wait to see the baby but couldn't bother to hold her for more than 5 minutes. After eating she declared they needed music so DH did the on demand videos and she took the controls and cranked it up (not 5 feet from my sleeping child) and started singing loudly to it. I just wanted to run away. I wanted so much to take my baby and run away. The brother's hellion child threw our expensive remote, then she was kicking the door while her father watched and I finally told her sharply to stop it and he gave me a horrible look, then she was picking things up off my entertainment center shelf and when I told her that wasn't for playing with she slammed it down on the glass shelf. Apparently no one but DH and I could discipline the children. Then the little horribly behaved girl comes thru and someone has given her a while hotdog and she has shoved it all into her mouth, I cannot believe she didn't choke to death. Luckily DH noticed and told her to spit it out. Food was thrown on my floor. I could tell DH had had enough as well.When MIL sees the hotdog thing she proceeds to tell me how she is always getting into something and how she had gotten into superglue one day and glued her mouth together. This is the same woman who laughingly told me when DH was a baby his dad rushed him to the hospital because he was puking up red stuff and he thought it was blood but it was just the red wine she had given him. So, I am seriously dreading mother's day. I hate this woman. She is a sorry excuse for a human being and my skin crawls and I cringe when she touches my child. I ordered a photo collage thing for my mom for mother's day and DH said to get one for his mom too. I so wanted to tell him that the crazy bitch didn't deserve to have any photos of my child and didn't deserve anything for mother's day. I have already told him that I will be spending mother's day with my child so we're going to have to do the rounds with his family the day before. I really wish I could not go. Last year I didn't but this year if I don't he will want to take Lorelai and where she goes I go. The thought of that psycho woman being alone even 2 min with my child while he went to the bathroom or something is more than I can bare. So, any of you ladies out there (if anyone has endured my mindless ranting this far) feeling my pain? If so, please share your stories. I would love to know I am not the only one who has to deal with things like this and would like to know how you're going to deal with Mother's day. My personal opinion is once you have a child of your own the day should be about you and not your mother anymore.

1 Comments on Mother's Day

mandiandburger - Friday, 1 May
OMG- MY hubby's family isn't nearly as bad as yours! There is no option of telling you hubby that you won't go and Lorelei won't go? I pulled that on Easter. I didn't want to see his family and they hardly notice if we come to holidays or not. So we didn't go. My hubby didn't want to go by himself! ~lol~ I'm so sorry you're dealing with these horrible people! I can't even imagine! But, your daughter is beautiful! She was born one day after my daughter!

Photos