22-12-2008 - TTC Month 1

My mood while writing this blog: Waiting

Well me and my husband decided to start trying a couple days ago. The month before we had been convinced we were going to wait for about 3-4 more years because of plans we had and because we felt like we were supposed to wait. Last month the condom broke and we think I ended up having a chemical pregnancy. I had a lot of signs of an early pregnancy to include spotting, but my period came and then went away in about a week. For about a week and a half though we were pretty sure I was pregnant. We were so disappointed when I wasn't that we decided we were tired of waiting. It was such a relief being able to say that we wanted kids, we were ready for kids, and we didn't much care what any one else thought. :) We were going to wait for a couple months before some career plans got finalized. We wanted to wait for a more convenient time, because we're in the military and we aren't too sure where we might be going next. Well 4 days ago my husband turns to me and says he doesn't care, he doesn't want to wait any longer. It was pretty exciting if I do say so myself. We started trying a couple days past ovulation. So I'm not expecting to get pregnant this month. I am most definitely hoping. I keep telling myself not to get too excited or get my hopes up. It's so hard not to though. And now I can't sleep for imagining what it'll be like to be pregnant. I stay awake imagining what maternity clothes I want to wear. I think about what my belly will look like. I imagine how I'll tell my parents. How I'll tell my husband. All of it. And of course I am like clocking every single thing my body does trying to tell if it's pregnancy related or not. Lol. I'm driving myself a little crazy but I can't help it. My period is due in about 7 days. I keep wondering if my sore breasts and my light cramping are baby induced or period induced. It's so hard to tell. I mean part of my think it's rediculous to think that any of these things could be due to being pregnant. We just started trying a couple days ago! But I don't honestly know how long it takes for the hormones to kick in and to start seeing results. Lol so I'm sleeping awful while half my mind dreams about pregnancy, and the other half wonders if it's happened yet or not.