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27-5-2009 - The end

My mood while writing this blog: Sad

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Well I got some pretty bad news. I went into the ER on monday for some light spotting. They did an u/s and drew blood, and then had me follow up today with urgent care. Had another u/s and found out that the baby had no heartbeat and had stopped growing at 6 weeks. I was definitely pretty upset for a little while. I had been so excited. We had been trying for 5 months. I had bought some maternity clothes. Told a lot of family and was starting to tell some friends. And I still had all of my symptoms. The spotting had even disappeared. It was pretty upsetting. They said that the baby stopped growing most likely because of genetic abnormality. The baby wouldn't have been able to grow. I'm still really disappointed and sad. I'm not really upset though. I already very much miss that chance at life that I was making. Even at 8 weeks that baby was very loved and anticipated, but unfortuantely was just not meant to be. One of the nurses told me that sometimes God takes his little angels back because they weren't quite right. It made me feel a lot better. To know that the baby just wasn't quite right and wasn't meant for me. The dr. said that it has no bearing on any future pregnancies and we'll be able to start trying again after one normal period. I'll probably be off the radar for a little while to fully come to terms with our loss and take a step back so when we start trying again I'll be ready for the new little one we hope to make. I wish everyone well and the best health to you and your babies.

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10 Comments on The end


brandy1015 - Tuesday, 16 Jun
I am so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel, I have been through this three times and it never gets any easier. I will keep you in my thoughts. Take care!

pumpkinbutt697 - Tuesday, 9 Jun
I am so sorry for your loss. I too miscarried my first child at 9 weeks. Already bought clothes and all so I can understand how you feel. But time is needed to grieve and before you know it when it is the right time god will give you back your angel.

Becky-boo - Thursday, 28 May
Oh gosh. i am so very sorry. We will all miss you terribly. Keep us updated in the future when you feel ready.

NZGirl - Thursday, 28 May
I'm soooo sorry to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your hubby. Take care of yourself hon. Hope to see you on here again soon. x

Gill UK - Thursday, 28 May
I'm so sorry Candice. I know exactly how you must be feeling. It will get easier but in the meantime just take some time out and let your mind and body recover. If you need to chat I'm here! x Gill

mi.familia - Wednesday, 27 May
i am so sry hun...i will be here for! i know what it is like ot lose a baby! it is hard, but eveything happens for ar reason.

aidensmommy - Wednesday, 27 May
I am so sorry to hear that...Im rooting for you and your hubs..It will happen for you..You should have titled your blog the start..This is a ruff start..but I KNOW you will have a much happier ending and a beautiful little baby in your arms in no time! Now you have a little angel in Heaven to protect mom and dad and baby sis/brother one day! I will be praying for you :-)

divinedivas79 - Wednesday, 27 May
oh no. i'm so sorry to hear that. you and your family are in my prayers. take care. sending hugs your way

jojo09 - Wednesday, 27 May
Oh huni i am so, so sorry for you both. I am absolutely gutted for you...its so hard to know what to say.... All the usual 'you's will get through this' and 'you can try again' seem so irrelevant when you are experiencing such heartache....but you will get through this & you & your lovely hubby will have your much wanted little baba one day.
I wish i could give you a great big hug but know you will be getting alot of comfort from your family and friends... Until you're ready to talk again, take care of yourself and stay strong. I`ll keep you in my prayers and i`ll be here for you when your ready.
Take care Starka. Love and hugs, Jojo xxxx

laddgirl - Wednesday, 27 May
I am so sorry for you loss. I'll keep you in my prayers.