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|25-2-2010 - Worst day of my life!
||My mood while writing this blog:|
Hey girls, How are you all? Hope you and those babies and or bumps are ok!
Right i really need to offload so i needed to write this blog....Im still so shocked and stunned about today's events and need to get it off my chest so here goes........(warning long blog, But need to get it all down!)
Today started off as any other got up 7am got ready, Took Elisha to school, Danyal sleeps on this journey and i get home feed, wash and change him then i have brekkie, Do some jobs round the house, Blah, blah, blah, So we had to go do something for Mo, And pick up my mom and take her to my old house (where she lived up until sunday) As in her new place she has no washer yet and needed to wash the clothes she left at mine in the machine so i stayed there with her until the 2 loads were done then the plan was to take her home and take a few smaller items that she left at the house in the boot of my car so that the house is empty apart from kitchen appliances, Carpets, cutains etc that are staying with my house while it goes up to let, So i had my pram in the boot and all the things would not fit with it in so it needed to come out so i removed it and left it at the old house whilst i dropped them off at their new place with their things and her clean laundry, So i thought right-o i'll go pick up my pram just incase so headed back alone to my old house Danyal had fell to sleep again! I must of bored him so i thought i'll pull the car on the drive right outside the front window i won't disturb him i'll only be 2 seconds, plus i can't carry him and the pram anyway so i locked the car, got the pram and was back with a minute, Opened the boot tried to collapse the pram but it wouldn't collapse so i was getting annoyed so needed to put the car keys down for a sec so i could collapse the pram easier so i placed the keys inside the boot at this point Danyal woke and started to fuss so that put pressure on me to hurry (Stupidly in a rush i hadn't made a mental note to myself that the keys were in the boot) And with Danyal crying and in my cardi pocket i felt some weight as though my car keys were in there i asumed they were and shut the boot to rush to see if my son was alright as he woke up all upset, On closing the boot dread came over me when i realised it wasn't my car keys in my pocket it was my phone and old house keys!!!!! OMG!! Panic set in as he was locked in! My keys in the boot still the car LOCKED And i couldn't get in!!!
What had happened was i locked the car but when i opened it to put the pram in i only pressed the boot release button instead of all doors GRRRRR! This is a stupid feature that Ford thought was a good idea so that when you have your shopping you can just open the boot not the doors saves anyone just hopping in your car and trying to hitch a ride or steal your car i suppose, Anyway i should of opened all doors but am still not used to this new car fully yet, And cause i didn't closing the boot without getting my keys out meant all was locked in and i was locked out!!! I was panicking all i could see was my little boy crying his eyes out wanting his mommy he was all wrapped up to with a blanket in his car seat so he couldn't get his arms out the blanket he was crying so bad, I started crying to i was hysterical i NEVER let him cry i always comfort him, As when he cries like he did in that car he comes out in blotches everywhere! And bloodshot red eyes i could see real tears streaming down his face i just wanted to smash the car window in to get to him all i could do was keep talking to him and try to re-assure him i'll get to him soon this was 1.30pm and he was due a feed at 2pm and he must of been thirsty all this kept going round in my head and i just wanted to scream, so what i did straight away was to call Mo as he could go get the spare set of keys from our house and open the car without me having to damage it! (but to be honest i was willing to i didn't care!) He was working miles away at least 45mins away driving fast then he's have to stop off and get the keys and come to me, He was working and had to say to the old lady 'sorry i have an emergency' And had to leave as i was breaking down to him saying his son was crying and i couldn't get to him, i thought he'd be mad but he was wonderful about it and got to me really fast but it felt like hours he ran red lights and blasted his horn to get people to move out of his way as his little man was in trouble, Im so lucky he didn't have an accident the speed he was going but all he could see was his son crying his eyes out!
In the meantime i needed to keep Danyal amused somehow so i kept smiling at him through the tears and kept tapping the glass and talking to him but the more he cried i wanted to cry i felt helpless :( So i called my mom to come help i needed someone to help keep Danyal amused so she came in a taxi within minutes and her and her bloke Mark talked to him through the glass and it helped abit Mark even went to neighbours with Ford's to try their key in my door (i knew the central locking wouldn't work) But older cars keys used to open the door only not start ignition, It was a long shot but hey we was desperate, But nope didn't work! 2 cars pulled up and buses went past don't know what they or the neighbours thought but i bet it looked real bad, then out of those cars some people going round the houses for your vote in the local elections had a Ford and again Mark asked can we try your key that man tried to no luck! They saw me distressed and tried to help the one called the police and fire brigade to maybe get the doors open somehow, But all the time i was praying Mo found the spare key that i remembered where i put it in a 'safe place!' Usually with me never to be found again! And it felt like an eternity i was close to passing out with the goings on it was out of my control and all i wanted was my baby in my arms i felt so stupid it was unreal!
Then 5 minutes later the police arrived with Mo hot on the tail and he opened the doors i flew in the car and grabbed my baby out the car and hugged him so tight and cried and cried! At this point in time i had a huge crowd of people round me and the police asking if all was ok now, they could go now job done i got my baby! He was so happy when we got him out he had a huge smile across his face and started to screach as if to say about time the burst out laughing! His face red and tear streaked face! Ooh forgot to mention he was crying so bad in the car he started to choke and cough at that point in time i got a brick and was about to put the glass through when he stopped and was ok, and some stupid person freaked me out more by saying theres no air in that car so i panicked more thinking OMG!! He's gonna die, Oh i was as i put in the title the worst, most traumatic day of my life, For both of us since i had him he has never come to any danger i know things happen but i feel so bloody stupid i hate myself now and can't stop thinking about what happened i feel like a bad mom or something as i say i never let him get distressed, and all he wanted was me to pick him up he's such a mommy's boy! I will never, EVER forget this till the day i die! I now in hiensight i should slow up and stop running around all the time and take notice of what im doing and stop to think and make a note of what iv'e done, I know all said and done when life gets crazy its easy under pressure to make mistakes but i'll never let this happen to me again! I adore my precious little boy and i hope he doesn't remember this day i think i'll always feel guilty about it, Do you think im a bad mom?
Well thanks for listening to me gals your wonderful and thanks if you got to the end of this blog without loosing interest, Im so sad right now i keep thinking i don't deserve him, but im just punishing myself i wonder when i'll stop beating myself up about this *wipes a tear*
My mom was wonderful i must add i gave Danyal to Mo as soon as i had a cuddle and made sure he was ok and nearly collapsed in her arms she held me why i just broke down! I needed that Thanks MUM! x x
11 Comments on Worst day of my life!rachyg
- Tuesday, 20 Apr Omg dont say you dont deserve him. You do deserve him. As a parent we make horrible mistakes all the time. All that matters is that he is ok. It must of been so horrible for you to experience that. I had a tear in my eye reading this story. Remember you are a wonderful mother that just made an honest mistake. Any of us could of done this. xoxox RainbowRach
- Tuesday, 2 Mar Oh my goodness poor you! And poor prince Danyal. Bless your heart, you are not a bad mum at all babe, it could have happened to any if us. We are always in such a rush with a hundred things on our minds. I'm sure it didn't help to have stupid people telling you there is no air in the car! ( big hug ) to you both Im glad it was all fine in the end xx Emauk
- Saturday, 27 Feb oh hun..you are in no way a bad mum..I only just read your blog..(sorry if i'm a bit late with the reply..)..We all do things like this when we are rushed and stressed..Marks sister..when she had her second child..she went shopping and totally forgot that she had left the pram outside with her newborn son in..she was so tired and confused bless her..and when my mum had all 3 of us under 4yrs..she was trying to get me off to school and My brother off to nursery while looking after a newborn..and she was ironing..she put the iron out the way (well she thought out the way)..while she went to sort one of us out..and went out the room for a minute..she just heard a scream and ran in the room..and my little brother had pulled the cord of the iron..(the cord had slipped down into reach)..and pulled the iron down onto his leg..it had left a pocket in his skin..and she ran to the sink and it just filled up with cold water..she got in the car and sped to the ER..he is fine no scaring..(he's 22 now)..and he never remembered it..accidents happen..and they do not remember..I mean you heard what happened to Jakes with my dad..slipping down that hill with him on his head..I was so mad...and Mark is a bit of a pillok with them too sometimes..don't beat yourself up about it..you are a great mum..and you did everything that you could as quickly as you could..I never let Ella cry either..but it won't kill them in a situation where you can't help it hun..☺..I think you did great..plus if you did break the window..you might have gotton glass on him..there is air in a closed car..what silly person told you that..it is not a vacume..lol..it has air vents and it has gaps all over it..otherwise on a long journey you would die..but in a panic you don't know who to believe..right..glad you are both well..and Danyel is safe..take care..Xxxx katey25
- Friday, 26 Feb Awww hun, what a horrible thing to happen to you *hugs* xxxx katekins
- Friday, 26 Feb Oh hun, im sorry ive only just read your blog! How awful for you but what everyone has said is right, he probably sensed your panic and got a little worked up about it, and he wont even remember it now, like you said he smiled when you got him out because he sensed your relief. There is no way your a bad mother - i dont know anyone who lives for their kids as much as you, you burst with love for your kids! It was just an accident. One i bet loads of us have done or will do in our life time. I snapped my bloody key once in the door and we were stranded until my mum brought my spare. That spare is now the only key i have for my car so i would have to smash a window if i ever locked my keys in now. Those electronic keys are like £200 to replace! Wheras the excess on my windows of the car is £60 so what would you do? Honestly dont worry hun, its over now, and also ironically thanks for sharing cuz it will make me more careful for a while x x x sfrizzell1
- Friday, 26 Feb Hey hun, I just read your blog and this has happened before and will happen again to other moms. In fact, this same thing happened to my Aunt when she picked my younger cousin up from daycare. She put the baby in the car in her car seat but while she was doing so she accidently hit the lock feature on her remote. Well then the keys dropped and she hadne realized at this point she hit the lock feature. Well, sure enough in a hurry she shut the door and then realized her keys were on the floor. We live in Texas and this was in the heat of the summer. She had no option but to break the window. My cousin was still tiny at this point and she was worried about glass and all. Needless to say, I know you were very upset but when he gets older you'll look back and laugh with him about this day. firstlittleangel
- Friday, 26 Feb You are soooo NOT a bad mom!!! proud.mummy.of.3xxx
- Thursday, 25 Feb Aww hun I can just emagine how you felt hun I am so sorry. It is not your fault dont feel bad lots of people have done this and he is fine.Dont beat yourself up you are a fantastic mummy and Danyal wont even remember it. I hope you feel better today hun take care love Leigh xxxxxx stepheni775
- Thursday, 25 Feb Noooo Steph you are a wonderful mother!!! A bad mom is a mom that abandons her child and does bad things with that intention. What you did was a simple mistake that made Danyal a little worked up and you even more. One word of advise for you is to try and stay calm cause you and your little man are so close that when you are in distress he can feel it, it is like a 6th sence type of thing. He doesn't even need to be in the sam room for him to feel it believe it or not. I strongly believe in that. This to shall pass hun =) Tomorrow is a new day and I know you wont forget this day but I promise he will..... Take care Steph and just remember God sent you little angel to the best arms. dreemajic28
- Thursday, 25 Feb Awww, Steph!! How awful!! You are NOT a horrible Mum! It was an accident- and while he cried today- he will NEVER remember this day! Do not beat yourself up! I am sorry it happened to you, tho! I can only imagine your fears! But he is ok- you are ok- all is okay! baby-bump-number-two
- Thursday, 25 Feb awww hun dont beat yourself up over it,i no its probably easier for me to say than it is for you to do,i bet danyal doesnt even remember this happening now.at the time i think i would of been the same as you and id want to put the window in if it was my girl.but thankfully you got the spare key and he got the cuddles he wanted from his mommy.i no its upsetting,but he's ok now.so dont beat yourself up you are not a bad mom, it was a mistake,we all make them when we get flustered etc.glad it got sorted for you and your litle man is ok ((((((big hugs to you)))))) x