02-6-2010 - confused, Not sure what\'s going on!

My mood while writing this blog: ok

Well me and the hubby have decided to come off the birth control and try again for another little one, Well were not going to go mad like last time as it nearly consumed me wanting him so bad, That every month i had a bfn i was deeply upset and got obsessed with the whole thing, So it's more like whatever happens, Happens and we will be thrilled!

Sooo it started with a plan to TTC in October time as i want danyal to be just over 2 years old when i give birth as for me that's ok, But i was advised to change my pill and give that a few months to get into my sytem right, So i started that but was told i might not get periods and if i do they will be light that was about 3 months ago well, i had a mad cleaning spree and chucked the whole pack away grrr! So i thought i better get some more, Well because the place i get them from is only open wednesday day for a few hours and monday night for a few hours i never got round to it, And thought oh well if it happened now im not fussed my hubby keeps saying its time for another one and wants one really bad, And i waited years for him to talk like this lol! So what the hell!

Anyway im confused and not sure what's going on because.... after stupidly chucking those pills we obviously carried on being intimate and i haven't had a period as yet, So could that be that the pill that i was on has effected my cycle or could i be pregnant? I can't even remember when my last AF was i know how stupid but the pill messed them up i had one 2 weeks early so have lost track! I know for deffinate i had a light one on the 12th April but can't remember wether i had one since for the life of me and me heads all over worrying over it so if i did i think it may of been the 2 weeks early one so that would have been around the 25/26th April, So i haven't had one all of May at all and were in June now im soo confused, I haven't got any pregnancy tests so Monday i read online that you can detect a pregnancy on an opk so i have a few of those left so i did one and straight away 2 lines! So i thought hmmmm what should i think? so later on that day i went and got a hpt but stupidly did it in the evening as i couldn't wait my wee was really weak in colour and turned out to be a negative! But still no period! What if i did that to late at night and it wouldn't show then i know know i should have left it till the morning but didn't so iv'e ordered some off Ebay so will test when they come prob Friday if still no AF and let you all know grrr It's so weird as i have been feeling sick and going to the toilet more but that could all be in my head right? Oh i don't know so stressed about all of this!

But nevermind if im not pregnant this month its ok, there's other months to try, I am already blessed with 2 wonderful kids, And im excited that this Sunday 6th June my little boy will be 1!! YAY He's changing all the time, And is such a joy! And im so happy!

All the best anyway and thanks for reading this huge blog! Love to you all, Steph x x x