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06-5-2009 - Things and stuff

My mood while writing this blog: Ok

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Scan number two induced some much needed hopeful, happy, relief-type feelings... twin B (the smaller of the two) has had a bit of a growth spurt the last couple of weeks and has just about caught up to twin A. B was - going on the dates of the last scan - supposed to measure at 7w4d but actually measured at 7w6d with a heart rate of 170bpm. Twin A measured as expected, at 8w exactly and with a heart rate of 153. So, at this stage, they are looking like healthy little beans. I am feeling pretty positive - I don't think I'll ever feel relaxed, but I'm doing ok considering.

I did experience a bit of an emotional hurdle this afternoon though, albeit an indirect one. There was another lady, a week or so ahead of me, who was also expecting twins. At her second u/s this week it was discovered that both had passed away and she had to schedule a D&C. My heart broke for her, for me and for all the women who have, are right at this moment, or who will at some stage in the future, experience a loss. Life just isn't fair sometimes. I looked back over her posts and you could see the excitement leaping off the screen. She was taking such good care of herself; doing everything she could to ensure her little ones were healthy. That lack of control over the outcome will always send a shiver down my spine. In just about everything else in life, if you work hard and play by the rules you can usually bring about the outcome you are after. It just aint the case with this whole baby-making thing. I really hope she has some people to love her hard over the next little while - only tears and silence and hugs can comfort a hurt like that.

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