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22-11-2009 - My son Daniel R.I.P

My mood while writing this blog: sad

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I have been feeling a bit low lateley. I lost our son Daniel on april 3rd 2009! He died before he was born and with me being pregnant again i feel so guilty and nervous at the same time. As my pregnancy progresses i think of him more often. Especially last thing at night and first thin in the morning, thinking that would i still be having this baby if he were here today? I suppose im just going through the motions as i know im still grieving for him and think i always will be. I miss him so much and there isnt a day that will ever go by that i dont think of him. People seem to think im over him as im pregnant again but they are so wrong! Infact they couldnt be anymore wrong!! I delivered him when i was 21 weeks and to find out he died at 16 to 17 weeks, which i am now in this pregnancy so im so scared that it will happen again. This is so hard being at this stage in my pregnancy as you could well imagine! I just hope when i pass this stage that i will be able to relax and enjoy this pregnancy as i havent been so far. Life is so unfair sometimes :-(

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5 Comments on My son Daniel R.I.P


MissBoss88 - Sunday, 22 Nov
Awww..I am sorry mama.

MissBoss88 - Sunday, 22 Nov
Awww..I am sorry mama.

baby[bump]mama - Sunday, 22 Nov
i kindda know how you feel. i recently lost my lil girl at 22wks, she stopped growing at 17/18wks, but lived until 20wks. my advice to you is to enjoy your pregnancy. with my daugther i didnt enjoy a second of it cause i have a history of m/cing, and when i finally made it passed 12wks, i bleed for 8wks before losing her, and i felt so guilty for not appreciating the gift and blessing God gave me for 22wks.you and i both know that you will never be over our lost angels. when people think you are over your child, it shows how strong and couragous we both are. RIP Danieland God Bless to you mama!Renee

clara16032010 - Sunday, 22 Nov
Arh thats so sad. They say every pregnancy is different so just try and stay positive. Have you purchased or rented a doppler, it might put your mind at rest? Big Hugs. xx

roosa - Sunday, 22 Nov
Sending you a big hug! We will never forget our little ones, or get over it - we only slowly move forward, and your loss is still very recent. So don't be harsh on yourself, or let others make you feel like this is something we can just put behind us.. And I know it is hard reaching those milestones in our subsequent pregnancies of when we lost our previous baby. I wish I could say it gets a whole lot easier once we pass it, but we are no longer ignorant and know that things can go wrong at any stage and I think that will affect us throughout the pregnancy. I often feel bad for not just enjoying this pregnancy, but things are forever changed. That doesn't mean I am not thankful and I never enjoy it, but it is an up and down journey. Just know we are here for you every part of it. xox Karin