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26-1-2010 - What should I think....

My mood while writing this blog: conflicted

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So here's the deal, Charlie is 3 months today and my sister in law and her husband have seen my son twice. During the pregnancy they were awesome, they were even MOH and BM at our wedding (I was 8 months preggo) than our son came and they dropped off the face of the earth. The only reason they saw him twice was because it was christmas and they basically had to, she will not look at my son let alone hold him. My MIL and FIL came over for dinner one night and an argument occured because of what my MIL said, previously my husband made a comment that he wouldnt be able to go to our BIL's birthday dinner because on that day we were going to have our baby....well this hurt his sister, she took it as a haha. I should mention here that her and her husband have tried to get pregnant and have sent lots of money trying to get pregnant but it just wont stick. So they decided to stop talking to us....so when the in laws were here they basically attacked my husband saying he was mean and insensitive but it totally wasnt meant in that context at all....well being pretty fed up with it all and the fact that even at the hospital I was trying to text my SIL and she would not respond I got upset. My MIL decided to say well how would you expect her to feel? They are spending all this money to have a baby and you just pop this one out?! So I proceeded to tell her I was sorry she isnt getting pregnant and I wish she could but I dont have control over that and my son has nothing to do with that. It is not his fault....

WTF...am I on glue? should I not be upset about this? His parents dont call....text....send a freakin smoke signal to see how their grandson is doing.....we dont hear from his family unless we contact them, which I refuse to play into their game. This is just eating me up inside....I dont know what to do but I know (as well as my husband knows) that I dont take bs when it comes to my kids and they are lucky I have held myself back. What should I do? I feel for her honestly but does that justify her rejecting my child? because that's the way I am seeing it. I dont know what happened but after getting married my in laws turned into people I dont even know. Does anyone have any insight or advice? do I even have a right to be hurt or upset? should I go out of my way to fix this situation with his side of the family?

thanks everyone and i hope all your little one's are doing well :)

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2 Comments on What should I think....


bella124 - Wednesday, 27 Jan
I fully agree with charlihadley. My best friend has been TTC for the past year and has lost 3. She finds it hard to be around me or talk to much about my LO. They might be thinking you are rubbing your child in their face. I know your not, but from a stressed, TTC point of view they might think that. Jealousy sees things in a diff light.

charlihadley - Tuesday, 26 Jan
awww...so sorry...what a mess...your right...your not in control of their situation...i'm sure it breaks your heart to know they are trying so hard & nothing...i'm sure their feelings are right there on the surface & they are taking every thing way over the top..so sad to want a child so bad & it's not happening...I'm sure there are some jealousy, selfishness, depression & why us issues...which don't have a thing to do w/you...your just a convenient escape goat...you know...I'm sure your MIL is just alter sensitive to her daughter's situation....& probably feels gulity & like a traidor.... life is so much harder than it has to be!!!if you just want to reach out to your SIL/BIL maybe send them a sweet card telling them how much you miss them...if there was anything that you might have did or said to offend them...how truly sorry you are...don't mention the purple elephant in the room act as though you have no idea what the problem is...let them explain themselfs to ya'll...mail it to them...ball is in their court.....you just may know where you stand after that... they are in pain over not having a baby & sometimes it can make people crazy & irrational see it for what it is...reach out & if they reach back great & if they don't you know in your heart you tried...best of luck to you & your family....charlie deserves all his family!!