08-7-2008 - Its been a Month...

My mood while writing this blog: sad

It's been a month today since i m/c... since i lost my baby on the 8th of June. Its been quite an emotional ride for me ever since it happened. Last month this time i was in the ER and this was the time when my child went to heaven. Weird Dreams, Cry Sessions, Anger, Frustration and a hell lot of other Emotional ups and downs have been a part of this last one month after my m/c. The ache in my heart is only for me to bear and feel. However i want to thank everyone who has been soo supportive to me through the worst ever time in my life and thanks to all you ladies on this website who have been there for me and have heard my tales of agony, with so much concern and love. Thank you ladies...

Also, i just wanted to update you all, that my husband and i, we have decided to wait for one more month, making it 2 months after the miscarriage, till we start trying to conceive again... This decision was mutual in order to help me heal physically and emotionally.

From the looks of it i am fine and doing good, but from inside i still do feel the emptiness the m/c has left me with. i do get lonely at times and miss my baby soo much. i have developed this habbit in the last few days of talking with my baby before i go to bed every nite. I look up in the sky and try to find out one shining star who i assume is my angel, and i talk to it before sleeping everynite. Not that it makes much sense, but i somehow feel at peace with myself after doing so...

I know someday god is going to bless me again, but my first unborn child is always going to stay in my heart and shall be missed and remembered by me till i die...