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30-7-2008 - Mommy for 13 weeks

My mood while writing this blog: Not Ok..

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Here i am, almost two months since i miscarried my baby, still Not Ok and trying to come to terms with life. Physically i have healed, but i guess the emotional turmoil within me is still the same... However trying to move on and looking forward to a whole new month in my TTC journey. Hopefully will get my BFP soon with a healthy pregnancy to term, this time around. I appreciate all your support and love that you wonderful women on this site have given me. It has surely helped me to overcome my grief..

*Specially want to thank Sam, (firstmommy08) you've been great.
Thanks for hearing me out everytime i needed to vent...

i have just updated my profile so i have moved my Miscarriage story in this blog if anyone wants to read. Below is a brief about the worst day in my life ever...

Sunday 8th June '08
I was pregnant, all happy and glowing until the misfortune striked, Everything was soo smooth and good, till i had a natural mis-carriage on 8th of june at 13 weeks. It was my first baby and the loss that i feel rite now cant be expressed in words. I was healthy throughout my pregnancy so i dint really think that the one small spot of blood that i saw 3 weeks back would result in such a painfull miscarriage. I went to my doctor soon after i saw that first drop of brownish blood, and after my US my doc said he could see an unhealthy Gest Sack and Yolk Sac and very politely handed me my reports which read as "Threatened Miscarriage" My doc called me again after 2 weeks for another US to check on the status inside my tummy and then to do a D&C ....

The 2 weeks wait after that US were miserable. Suddenly all my pregnancy symptoms had gone, and from inside i started getting the feeling of not being pregnant anymore, however i still kept saying to myself that maybe some miracle will happen and everything wil be alright till my next US. The Bleeding kept on increasing from little spotting to a regular period type flow, until the early morning of 8th june at 3am i passed out one big clot of blood and alongwith that came unbearable pain and cramps in my abdomen. My husband rushed me to the hospital, and i got admitted in the ER and laying there on the hospital bed i miss carried the rest of it till late in the morning. The docs did an another US on me to check how much of it i had passed out and how much was still remaining...

As per my US i had let out almost all of it with a few tissues remaining, the doc discharged me and i came back home and passed out the remaining of it on the next day... after that the bleeding became less and now i am all clear. I have to go for one more last US on thursday 19th june for a final check up of the status inside me.

its the most painful experience of my life and i am soo depressed. My baby is gone, god took my baby away...
but i know for sure that some day very soon he is gonna give me my little angel back... God is great and i believe that things happen for a reason...

my dear baby, i love u very much... pls come soon again to momma... miss u lots my darling...

Thursday 19 June '08
i went today morning for my last US as a part of my follow up after having the miscarriage naturally last week. The doc told me everything has passed out naturally and my tummy is fully empty now..with no remains of the baby inside. So since nature has found its way out i dont need to do the D&C. My doc told me today, that my period cycle should start by sometime next month and that i could start trying to conceive again after 3 months...

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9 Comments on Mommy for 13 weeks


Kevinswifee - Wednesday, 3 Sep
I'm sorry to hear about your loss and I wanted to tell you that I have had 2 losses myself and that it is really hard but as time goes on it will get a little easier. You will never forget about what happened and what you have gone through but there will be a time when you look back on it and not have the urge to bust out into tears. I hope all is going well with trying to have another one.. word of advice would be don't stress your self.. it took us about 4 months to actually concieve this last time and everything will happen when it's ready to. g/ l with everything.

chips - Tuesday, 5 Aug
sorry in taking so long to reply sweetie! I have been away!
I know how you feel,I really pray that you get your BFP very soon!
keeping you in my prayers always!
bighug
godbless

lil angel - Tuesday, 5 Aug
hey chicky i jus read ur story n tears were fallin....i am very sorry for ur loss of ur lil angel... being 13 weeks so many ppl think the scary period is over n everything will b fine .... i had a ectopic slash mis carriage bleeding for 29 days n pain that had me bent over in pain n i never thought i cld cry so much..... im currently preg now again n im so scared but im tryin to think positive jus like u shld darl.... u sound n ur responce to my comment was thoughtful.... good things will come chick n u will b re blessed with ur lil angel something u deserve..... best wishes n every bit of angel luck.... x

one day - Friday, 1 Aug
One day we will all get our BFP!!! =) I know the pain we go through is so difficult at times, but that's exactly why there are these websites that can help us through tough times...when our family and friends can't!! Hopefully all of your hopes and dreams will come true in the near future!!!


Britney8328 - Thursday, 31 Jul
I am sorry you had to go through all that dear! i hope that you are doing ok and I hope that you get blessed with another little angel soon! good luck hun!

minkymoo78 - Wednesday, 30 Jul
I hope this next cycle brings you a BFP! I'll be thinking of you. Good luck with the TTC x

firstmommy08 - Wednesday, 30 Jul
Awww....Tassy. I really have grown to love our conversations. I'm here for you any time you need it. I'm a shoulder to cry on and ear to listen. Did you know the name Samantha means listener? I've always been real good at it. I love our chats. I'm so glad I met you and who knows, maybe in life we will be able to really met each other, one day! ((Hugs)) Sam

beckybear - Wednesday, 30 Jul
I know how hard this is. I hope you get your BFP soon and have the healthy PG and baby that you are wishing for.

jacks - Wednesday, 30 Jul
i hope you get your bfp soon. it is so hard going through this time period after a miscarriage. i know you will soon be preggers again and you will have a beautiful healthy baby before you know it. hugs!