tatianamommy's I-am-pregnantblog

tatianamommy
	Age: 29 Country: US Province/region: City: Virginia beach Partner: Nathan (Husband) Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: No Occupation: Part time Work from home/Computers
	Online: 43 minutes ago Last updated: 4 days ago. Member since: 260 days
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14-7-2008 - How it goes.....

My mood while writing this blog:
Ok

Okay, it's been a while so I figure i should leave an update to how everything is going. Well, I don't think I could possibly love anything more in my entire life! I LOVE being a mom and I LOVE LOVE LOVE my little Caleb. I remember being filled with this enormous and overwhelming feeling of just absolute and pure joy. I can't describe it but those of you who have felt it know what I'm talking about!!

The past 8 weeks have been great! It seemed like everything got easier and easier each day....except for the thought of having to go back to work but i'll talk about that later. The breastfeeding got easier, the schedule got easier, the sleeping got easier. And nothing made me happier than knowing I was a mom and doing what I do best....love baby Caleb!!

I thought for sure I would suffer from PPD (post partum depression) but I don't think it affected me at all. Now, that's not to say that I didn't go a little crazy because I sure as hell did a few times with my raging hormones. I just didn't feel that overwhelming sadness they talk about. I think 1 day around week 1 or 2 I got this depressing and sinking feeling in my tummy because all I was doing was nursing...pumping...and changing a diaper ALL day! I would nurse for 30 minutes, pump for 30 minutes, change a diaper then get a 15 min break before I was doing it all over again. It got old...quick! The next day i took a break from pumping and I felt a lot better with less stress!!

Nursing has been challenging but something that Caleb and I get better at each day. It's funny because once I think I got one part of it down, I start having issues in another part! I finally got Caleb to stay awake to nurse but now I'm having a hard time in the evening with him having a temp tantrum while nursing. I guess he isn't getting milk fast enough because he will wail on me with fist and feet while screaming at me. I know I have milk because when he pulls away to cuss me out it squirts him all over the face! Hahahah!

Caleb is sleeping a lot better at night. A few weeks ago, i started a new schedule for him and it seems to be working well. I'm starting to realize that one of the best things about being a parent is that you always learn something new and you will always learn something!! It seems like once I get one thing down, there is a new challenge facing me. To some, it might seem overwhelming. To me, it feels great! It’s a personal accomplishment when we get through another week or another hurtle. That isn’t to say that it is easy! Parenting is anything BUT easy! I personally just love the challenge!

That leads me to my next subject….work. I thought I could be this career woman who balances work and being a mom. I can’t. That’s a challenge that I am not willing or wanting to face. I don’t want to sacrifice time from Caleb just because it would be easier to pay the bills or just to have enough money to take vacations every year. It’s not worth it to me. I would willingly give up the house, the new car and anything else I can to make sure Caleb is raised by his mother and that he knows he means everything to his parents. With that being said, I’m putting in my notice to leave my computer job to take on the full time position of being a mom. It just feels right….

Thankfully, Nathan is backing me up and he is going to do whatever he needs to do to make sure Caleb has that opportunity. I know not everyone can do that, stay at home, but it’s something I know I have to do.

Well, that’s all for now!

P.S. I also don't take ANYTHING away from those parents who choose to both work. Some times the mom has to work, their isn't a choice. Sometimes the decision to work IS what is best for the child. I don't take anything away from those moms and in fact, I think they are stronger than I am because I am not strong enough to leave my baby just yet.

4 Comments on How it goes.....

AJV - Thursday, 17 Jul
I love my job and I would never be able to not work but I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm very protective and if I didn't have a great friend who I really trust as my ever obiedient in my home babysitter I would be having a panic attack right now.

I am worried bout being away from my little prince and I miss him horribly. I think it would be harder if I was gone every day but I get him all to myself most of the time and I actually need the break to have a little me time. I bet when he outgrows this sleep, eat, sleep, poop phase and starts being more interactive it will be even harder but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Best wishes to a lucky SAHM enjoy!

maryamene - Tuesday, 15 Jul
hey :) loved ure blog..i know how u feel. i have given uo my job as well and i am a full time mommy now. yes we are lucky that we have this option :) take good care of urself and keep on posting pix!

bdubb - Tuesday, 15 Jul
I know exactly how you feel. I am going back to work this week and am so sad. I am so for happy that you will be able to stay home with your little boy. I thought I would have no problem going back but it is so tough. I was reading in my what to expect while expecting things he will be doing next month and it made me so sad that I will be at work. Of course I will have time with him but as you know it is not the same. Thanks for the shout out and support for working mom and congrats and good luck to you.

luvmy-buninoven - Monday, 14 Jul
Great blog girl!! You just put motherhood in a nutshell.... I'm a new SAHM too, so I'll be here for support and encouragement!

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