12-1-2009 - Pregnant at Last! (with Darwin)

My mood while writing this blog: same

October 7th, 2007

07:09 am: CD 31
I was told by my nurse the last time I was in there for the booster shot that I didn't get that I could test on Sunday (which would be today). Since then, I was put on prometrium because my progesterone was low.

I woke up this morning with a headache and having to pee so bad I was waddling around. I was thirsty and decided to get water before going to the bathroom because I was putting off the HPT in order to give myself plenty of time to psych myself down into believing 100% that it would be negative. I mean, yesterday at the baby shower I felt absolutely like I could start my period at any moment, so it wasn't too hard to convince myself that I could expect a BFN. Before I tested, I even wiped myself to make sure I hadn't started overnight so as not to waste a pregnancy test. I took the test. It was positive.

The second line is fainter than the first, but not faint enough to be questionable. Now I need to get a hold of my doctor's office to get a blood test to check the results. I'm trying so hard not to let my hopes get up too much in case it isn't true. What if it took extra long for the HCG shot to get out of my system? I smoked a few cigarettes this week, what if that made the HCG stay longer? What about my low progesterone? Does that mean that if I am pregnant, I am not going to be able to carry it to full term? All these questions! When all I really want is to be able to cry with relief and scream to anyone that will listen, "I'm pregnant!"

But slow down. One step at a time. Blood test next. See if the test is still positive tomorrow, the day after, the day after that... When will I be convinced? I just don't know. But this BFP is the farthest I have ever gotten...

08:41 pm: CD 31
If I really am pg (I've had two BFP's today, the second one popped up as soon as I peed on the stick), here's what I've experienced so far...

*Tender breasts - really nothing more severe at this point than the usual pre-AF tenderness.

*Lack of sexual desire - I usually have a spike in sexual desire between ovulation time and AF, but this time, nothing.

*Dark spots on my nipples - They are little veiny brown patches on my nipples. I also have tiny red veins all over my breasts that are slightly more extensive than usual pre-AF.

*Swollen breasts - This is really the first thing that made me wonder if I might be pg. My bras don't fit anymore already. I thought either I'm pg or I'm getting really fat really fast. This hypothesis was magnified by the next symptom...

*Swollen abdomen - I noticed my shirts aren't fitting the same. My belly seems bigger. I feel so fat!

*AF-like cramps - I have that raw sensation in my ovaries that I get with AF and I occasionally have some cramping. This is the most concerning symptom, as it really makes me question if I'm really pg or not. I'm still taking the prometrium just in case...

That's about it so far. I'm waiting to find out what the blood test says. I promised myself this morning that I wouldn't let myself get too excited until I get a blood test, but it's pretty much impossible not to. I've already told 4 people, 2 coworkers, my best friend, and my best friend's sister. I'm waiting for bloodwork results before I start telling family. I just don't want there to be a ton of people to go around and tell that it was a false alarm in case it turns out not to be true...

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