October 15th, 2007

04:42 pm: 5 wks 1 day, I think
I'm somewhere around 5 weeks pregnant. This is what I've been experiencing, listed in order of discomfort:

1) Bras are too small - My breasts have swollen and I had to upsize my bras from a 36DD to a 42DD!

2) Sore ribs - My bottom ribs on both sides are sore and it makes it hard to get comfortable.

3) Sore breasts - Sometimes it feels like needles jabbing into my nipples (and I would know because I used to have them pierced). When it doesn't feel like nipple acupuncture, they are still tender to the touch.

4) Break out - My skin looks like shit. Need I say more?

5) Swollen abdomen - My brand new pants that I just upsized a month ago are already feeling tight and I haven't gained any weight...

6) Nausea - This has only been occasional and has been controllable thus far.

7) Incessant hunger - I'm starving! All the time! I can't go more than 2 hours without eating. When I do, I get shakey and desperate feeling.

8) Tired - I am pretty darned tired, although not as absolutely exhausted as some women talk about. Maybe because I make sure I get plenty of sleep. To bed between 8:30 and 9 and up at 6:30 or 7.

9) Capillaries on breasts - My breasts have tiny red capillaries all over them and in some places these have burst and left red splotches under the skin.

10) Hair on nipples - I've grown three or four hairs on each nipple. Thought that was odd.

11) Perfect fingernails - AT LAST!

I'm not complaining, just posting this for informational purposes! I'm happy to be pregnant and will go through anything for my baby! :)

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October 19th, 2007

07:39 pm: Worries...
I started spotting on Wednesday. It is brownish clumpy blood. Needless to say, it worries me. My nurse says that it is nothing to worry about as long as I don't have any serious cramping and the blood isn't bright red and it stays in small quantities. Regardless, I would feel better if there was no blood at all...

But as long as my baby is ok, I'm ok with it. I can't wait until my ultrasound. I think if I see that everything is normal, I will feel a lot more relaxed about my pregnancy. And if it isn't normal, at least I will know, although I obviously hope that isn't the case!

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October 24th, 2007

02:40 pm: The Sixth Week
I stopped spotting by last Friday night. I was sick all weekend. I'm still sick. I'm dizzy, nauseous and exhausted. I haven't been vomiting, but yesterday I did have one big heave and nothing came out. Afterwards, I felt even worse. I haven't worked a full day in the past two days and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make it through a full day of work again. At least, not until the end of my first trimester. I called the doctor to voice my concerns. My doctor prescribed Zofran. So I'm hoping that it will work and have me feeling at least for the most part, back to normal.

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November 1st, 2007

06:58 am: 7 wks, 4 days
I went to the doctor for my first ultrasound yesterday. The head count is back and there is one perfect little one in there! I got pictures of my teenie baby! Richard and I heard the heartbeat, which is strong and steady at 149bpm. The baby's CRL is 1.26cm. It doesn't much look like a baby, but we could see the heart fluttering and I felt so much relief and fulfillment when I saw it. I asked Richard later what he thought of the whole experience and he said, "Honestly? I was thinking, I'm looking at my wife's innards... It grossed me out." I couldn't help laughing. So typical of him to be repulsed by the sight of my "innards" and completely clueless of the beauty of it all.

I have a large cyst on the left side (3cm), so no lifting and no straining. They think it will shrink on it's own once the placenta starts producing it's own hormones around the 8th or 9th week. I also have a small cyst on my cervix. The doctor doesn't think it is anything to worry about. He said it's rather common and it will go away as well. All in all, everything looks good. I was told to schedule an appointment with my gyno and see how soon she can get me in, but if it's more than two weeks, to come back to the fertility clinic and they will examine me there. My gyno can't get me in until Nov 26th, so I left a message for my nurse to see if they want me to schedule and appointment with them. I think she called me back while I was in a meeting with my boss and I need to check my voice mail when I get to work.

That was my first pregnancy ultrasound experience. I am very happy to know that my baby is healthy and growing inside me. The nurse said if I didn't come back for an appointment with them, I need to know that they have a requirement that I must come in and visit when I have a big, round belly. I told her I would. I felt good hearing her talk like a "big, round belly" is a definite thing to come. It tells me that my pregnancy is thriving and that the doctor is confident everything will go well. I feel much less stressed knowing the doctor feels this way.

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November 12th, 2007

04:12 pm: 9 weeks, 1 day
I've been vomiting since Saturday. It doesn't seem to want to ease up any. The further into my pregnancy I get, the sicker I get. My insurance denied my doctor's claim to try to get more Zofran, so I'm stuck right now with the Compazine that doesn't work at all for me. I have another ultrasound this Wednesday and my nurse says we may try Phenergan or I may have to start taking the meds rectally to get them in my system faster and to ensure that I don't vomit them up. I'm really hoping I won't have to do that. The good news she had for me was that at 9 weeks, my symptoms should start easing up going forward and hopefully I will be turning a corner soon. I really, REALLY hope so!

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November 14th, 2007

07:00 pm: 9 weeks, 3 days
I had my ultrasound today. It was even better than last time. This time, Allison was her usual amazing self, showing just the right amount of concern with just the right amount of humor. The ovarian cyst has not changed in size, which is a good thing because it not changing is better than it getting bigger. The cervical cyst is totally gone.

The baby is thriving, with a CRL of 2.61 cm and a heart rate of 174 bpm. My doctor came in at the very beginning of the ultrasound and he always seems genuinely enthused about my progress. He seemed more excited than I've been feeling, but perhaps my nausea and vomiting has something to do with my less than overwhelming enthusiasm...

Anyway, they measured the baby, measured the cyst, went back to the baby for the heart rate and then zoomed in. Then they started pressing my abdomen to try to get the baby to move. Right there on the screen in front of us, it moved its little arm back and forth a few times. They got a really good picture where you could see it's little head, arm buds, and legs. Seeing the baby already with so much detail and even moving before my eyes made me feel that excitement that I've been lacking. I felt good all day, I think mostly because of the adrenaline of seeing my little one. I don't know if it's a boy or girl, but whatever it is, it sure is precious!

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November 17th, 2007

07:39 pm: 9 weeks, 6 days
My sickness was better on Wednesday and Thursday but returned full force yesterday. I got sick at work, left a little early, and proceeded to vomit into a trash bag all the way home. The acid in my stomach burned my esophagus and throat and it was very painful all throughout the evening. 6 extra strength Tums later, I was still in misery. Ugh. I can't wait until I'm through the first trimester. 4 weeks to go!

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November 25th, 2007

08:34 am: 11 weeks
I've been doing a bit better over the past week. I still have spells of nausea, but I haven't vomited (knock on wood) since November 16th. I have had some headaches, but I'm thinking that the placenta must be beginning to make its own hormones so my hormone levels may be dropping a bit, explaining the headaches. I wake up now feeling slightly queasy and VERY empty, but I am usually able to eat without stopping too many times. Plus, I've made it through the night without eating two nights in a row!

I felt a little something yesterday where the baby is. I guess it must be gas or something because everything I read says it is too early to feel the baby move, but it didn't FEEL like any gas I've ever had before...

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November 26th, 2007

05:44 pm: 11 weeks, 1 day
I saw my OB-GYN today. She said my uterus is the right size and that my pregnancy is very healthy. She also said I can stop taking the prometrium at the end of week 12, so just another week and a half of that! Anyway, I heard the heartbeat again and it was 170 bpm. My baby must be doing backflips or something in there!

I can get my Zofran refilled today. I can't wait!

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November 30th, 2007

08:17 pm: 11 weeks, 5 days
I got sick on Thursday (yesterday) morning after 12 days of not vomiting. It was depressing. I am getting a definite belly already. I weigh myself, sure I must be gaining tons of weight, but the scales read the same. No weight gained, but I look farther along than I am. I look like I'm about 3 or 4 weeks further than I am. I think it is because I tend to carry my weight in the front anyway.

Overall, I've been feeling much better. I still have some bad moments and I've been having quite a few headaches, but I'm better than I was. I'm so tired, though, and so ready to be done with the first trimester. I want to feel my baby move!

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December 3rd, 2007

10:20 am: 12 weeks, 1 day
This is the last week of my first trimester. After this week, I get to stop taking the prometrium. I'm ready. I didn't take any Zofran yesterday and I actually felt pretty good. I totally overate at lunch at Panera's, but although it was painful and uncomfortable for a couple of hours, it was nice to make it 6 HOURS without eating again! That has to be a record!

This morning I broke down and took some Zofran and went downstairs and got some food from the restaurant in my work building. Now my stomach is settled and I feel great.

The BIG NEWS of the weekend is that my best friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The baby's name is Maci Ranae and she was 8lbs, 6oz and 20.75 inches long. She has gorgeous wavy black hair and perfect skin. I am so happy for my friend.

I am thrilled that I am in a position at this time to be happy for her and her family without the slightest bit of jealousy. My pregnancy has changed my outlook on so many things and the best aspect of this change has been my ability to feel joy for those that are expecting and having babies around me. My jealousy has been calmed by the knowledge that I AM pregnant and I WILL BE a mom. It isn't something that might never happen anymore. Now it is something that IS HAPPENING. I feel such contentment with my life right now. A year ago I wouldn't have thought it was possible to get to this point. I am so glad I did!