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04-9-2009 - Cheating husband & divorce

My mood while writing this blog: collapsed, torn

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Hello to all of my mommies friends!

I can't believe that life is treating me this way, all of these times, I thought I had a perfect life, but no, everything is coming to an end. I just discovered that my husband was cheating me for 8 months, while I was 5 months pregnant with Victor!!!

I can't believe that I was so naive, I put all of trust, respect and love on him, and he cheated on me while I was working, till the last day before I gave birth.

He cheated with this 19 year old girl from Viet Nam. They chat webcam and phone for 8 months and I didn't pay attention. He saved hundreds and hundreds of her nude pix by webcam in the computer and I just discovered it. He had phone sex, webcam sex with her and how dumb can I get, I didn't suspect anything. He sent her so many nude pix of him, showing his private parts and sent them to her. He used the iphone to take those pix while he only take exactly ONE, ONE picture of Victor! Damn him!

Ever since I was pregnant, I stopped paying attention to the bank and credit cards accounts. He was using my credit cards to pay for all of his international calls and I had no clue! He bought and I phone to sex chat with her through yahoo messenger and I had no clue! I loved him and trust him and I have never thought he would cheat on me. I was minding on my pregnancy and taking care of Victor, I didn't know he was hiding behind my back.

After the snake came in the bathroom I bought Victor over to my brother's house and stay. That gave him full opportunity to cheat and I haven't thought of that. He had sneaking behind my back all of these times!!!

I finally suspected that there is something fishy when I logged into his iphone account to look at all of the numbers he was calling. I saw that he was calling to Viet Nam a lot, like 50 times a day at different time frames. I asked him and he said he was calling his sister. Immediately, he asked me to call in and cancel his iphone. I asked him why and he said that we were in a process of buying a house, and there will be a lot of money, so he don't want to use the iphone anymore. I thought he was telling the truth so I went back to my brother house and take care of Victor.

Then, the next day, August 17, 2009, I will never forget that day. In the morning, I went over to the trailer and used his phone and called his sister in Viet Nam. He told me that he cancelled his iphone already, I still haven't suspect anything. I called his sister and asked her if she been talking to him. She said yes, but not a lot. That raised my suspisction (sorry, misspelled) so I went home. That night, I called around and finally called one of my best friend and told her that I'm thinking my husband is doing something behind my back. Thanks goodness she works for the long distance company and she said she will help me. I gave her his phone number and she logged into his account and told me all of the phone numbers he had been calling.

To my surpise, I called the number and a girl pick up. I asked her if she's a friend of my husband and she asked who I am. I told her my story and she told me that he said he's not married or have any kids. She told me that they have known each other for 8 months and she's inlove with him. My world collapsed right then, but I manage to called my husband and put him on 3 way calling. He didn't say a word.

Afterward, it was crazy. As soon as he got out of work, I came over to the trailer and confront him. At first, he was denying, then I called his sister in Viet Nam, and his sister called the girl and talked to her. Then the sister called back and yelled at my husband, then he admitted.

For the last 3 weeks, it had been hellish for me. Each day, I discovered something new about the affair. I called and cancel the loan process for the mortage, I threatned for a divorce and he begged and begged.

Unfortunately for me, he just received his green card last week and now he is divorcing me!!! Life is a joke on me and Victor. After 5 1/2 years of marriage, my f*cking husband is divorcing me and blamed on me for not forgiving his "other lifestyle".

I'm still staying at my brother's house, they said I can stay as long as I need. I'm so hurt right now. No wonder why ever since Victor arrived, he alway find excuses to fight with me and never really care for Victor. I'm seeing a lawyer today and another tomorrow. I'll file for divorce because he flat out said he don't me anymore...

Keep me and Victor in your prayers, ladies. I'll keep you girls updates...

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15 Comments on Cheating husband & divorce


mommylove01 - Tuesday, 8 Sep
I'm sorry hun! You can call immigration and tell them the only reason he married you is for the green card! Hopefully they will revoke it! Good luck and I know whe nI get upset I just loook at my baby and I smile of happiness!!!

Baby Bliss - Tuesday, 8 Sep
Tiff- Fuck your soon to be ex husband! He is a f'n bastard and I agree document everything. You are a wonderful mother and all you need is victor. I am terribly sorry for the pain you are going through. I have no idea what I would feel in your situation, but just thinkin about it, would make me want to kill the guy! But you know what pay backs is a bitch and what comes around goes around sometimes in different ways but believe me he will get his. As for you, just trust and believe in yourself and you can get through anything, plus you have us!! Keep in touch

meisha2001 - Monday, 7 Sep
im sorry to have to read something like this but i need you to stay strong for Victor and go ahead and do whats needed and remember once a dog always a dog so if and when he try to come back just think about you and the baby and leave him alone cause you will find someone better sweetie again im sorry and keep your head up

boystruckx2 - Monday, 7 Sep
Honey, there are no words that I can say to make you feel better. I kind of had a similar situation with my oldest sons father. The good news is, is that you and Victor are getting away from him before he can hurt you two anymore. I am so sorry this happened.

Phoenix39 - Sunday, 6 Sep
Sorry to hear what you are going through, you gave him so many chances already and I would say this time he really blew it. It sounds like my ex, I would sneak downstairs to see what he was doing and caught him watching some females cam (with something hanging out of his pants) and I simply told him never to come near me again, and he wanted a cam and I said a cam would never come into my house or he would be out the door. He is married to the girl now lol. I really don't know what is wrong with men today, it seems they can't settle for just one (yes I know there are many women like that too). And like Carterscutie said, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! you won't believe how handy that comes when in court. You forget some of the small things and the lawyer can have a field day with it. Go after everything my dear, alimony and child support, don't let him off easy. Nothing makes me more mad then a cheating man. What woman is really going to want him when just about every cent he will make will go to you and your baby.

happyinvention - Saturday, 5 Sep
that's so terrible :( i don't have words to make you feel better- but time will help. and victor has a great, strong mom and oneday he will thank you for it!!

8thmaydueday - Saturday, 5 Sep
I feel so bad for you, you sound like a lovely person, and you and Victor deserve someone who loves and cares for you both and puts you 1st. Hopefully things will get better for you soon, just concentrate on your georgous wee baby. He doesn't need a dad like that when he has you, and your family, to raise him. Good luck, i'll be thinking about you both. x

sandy127962 - Saturday, 5 Sep
I am so sorry honey. That really sucks that he just used you like that. And that you had to find out this way. Well you deserve much better and will get much better. Take care and keep us updated.

hmm923 - Friday, 4 Sep
I am so sorry to hear all that you're going through and I will certainly keep you and Victor in my prayers. I must admit that I agree with everyone who says you are MUCH better off without your husband. Time and time again he took joy out of your pregnancy and time with Victor. You both deserve better. You are a loving, caring person and a very devoted mother - - I have complete faith that you will not only survive this, but will thrive.Hang in there and know that you have people all over the world praying for you.

tabby-may09 - Friday, 4 Sep
i am so sorry hun! omg! at least u are getting away from him and now u and victor can move on and make a better life for urselves. try to keep ur head up and i will keep u in my prayers

MommytoMichael - Friday, 4 Sep
OMGosh sweetie - I am sooo sorry :( My heart aches for you....you and Victor are in my thoughts and prayers

karolina2306 - Friday, 4 Sep
OK, let me tell you something. I know that this whole thing is an absolute disgusting mess. But getting rid of this piece of crap is ultimately a BETTER thing for you and your baby. I was only 21 when I got divorced, with a 7-month old baby in my arms. I have survived - with no family or friends - and so will you. Cheer up, and embrace what's happening as simply a painful but valuable step towards your new life. Think - is this the kind of man you'd like your son to look up to? Good luck, and I wish you a lot of strength - take care of yourself and your little boy, and let nothing else matter to you.

circle - Friday, 4 Sep
I am so terribly sorry to hear about what you have been going through. Hang in there - you are definitely better off without him!!! Victor is lucky that he has a mom like you. I'll be holding the two of you in my thoughts.

carterscutie85 - Friday, 4 Sep
OMG girl, what a asshole bastard motherf***er! I would love to kick him in his balls! The nerve of that asshole!! But I'll tell u something-don't be mad at the other women. It really sounds like she didn't know he was married with a child. Focus your anger on that asshole soon-to-be-ex-husband of yours. While you are going through the divorce process, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING HE SAYS AND DOES, DOCUMENT ALL CONVERSATIONS U HAVE WITH HIM, AND MAKE SURE U DOCUMENT ANY AND ALL VISITS HE HAS WITH VICTOR. This is VERY important, it will allow the judge to see what type of person he is. Also make sure your lawyer knows everything he has done with cheating on you so he can tell the judge. The judge is NOT going to be very happy at all with a man who cheated on his pregnant wife! In some states, if a person cheats while they are married, they can actually go to jail. It is like that here in Ohio but I don't know about where u live. Hit that motherf**** where it hurts-right in the wallet. Make him pay alimony and child support. Tell child support you want the highest possible amount u can get. I know I don't know u guys but I am starting to wonder if he was using you to get his green card. He's such a nasty little snake I wouldn't doubt it. Hang in there chick. My ex bf treated me like crap, he also cheated on me while I was pregnant although I did not find out until after we broke up. So I know what u are going through. Men are such asses!Focus on your wonderful little boy. I can tell by your posts and blogs you are a very loving mommy and your husband sounds like he doesn't even care about Victor. Victor and you will do just fine without that cheating snake. Think about it-do you want your son around someone like him? He's really better off without that asshole in his life. You know I am here if u need to talk girly..hang in there (((hugs))))

4andNOmore - Friday, 4 Sep
Omg!! What a bastard! Sounds like my ex!! You are better off without him... It is hard going through a divorce especially with a little one, but you will be ok. Hang in there!!