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11-11-2009 - Amnio in the morning! Scared...

My mood while writing this blog: nervous

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Well, after much thought I have decided to do the amnio. If the screens would have come back with better odds I probably would not be doing this at all. I am doing this for my baby, not my peace of mind. The first twelve hours after I found out about my 1:15 chance for downs I did not touch my baby at all. I did not talk to her and I did nothing but feel pity for myself. I totally forgot this is about her in the end. I said when we found out we were pg that I would NEVER put a child through a life where she would have to be taken care of for the rest of her life. A life where she would never be independant and at my age a life that could be all by herself not knowing or understanding where mommy and daddy were when the time came for me to pass along. I am not a cruel person. I hope that I do not offend anyone with my choice. That is not my intention at all and if I do offend you I will not be upset if you chose not to associate with me. It is a personal choice and I need to know. So I am off to the doctor and the upside of this is I get to do another level two ultrasound and see my little one tossing and turning about. Wish me luck with the procedure. It is not risk free and I hope it is not too painful. See, right back to being self centered... UGH!

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2 Comments on Amnio in the morning! Scared...


MommaGiGi - Thursday, 12 Nov
I will keep you in my prayers. Although I don't agree with your position, I'm not offended. You have a tough choice ahead and need all the love and prayers to get through it. I have a younger sister who is special and I can't imagine life without her. With that said, everyone has to walk their own path. I believe everything will be well with you.......sending you positive thoughts!

mrsjmickens1 - Wednesday, 11 Nov
i feel the same as you do. its one thing when something cant be detected or prevented...its another when it can. i wish you the best