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trixie369
	Age: 25 Country: US Province/region: City: Partner: a good one Children: Yes, 1 Pregnant: Please select Due date: 09 0 ,0000 Occupation:
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 685 days ago. Member since: 1346 days
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14-7-2009 - How Can I Get My Husband To Fu*kin Help Me Out?

My mood while writing this blog:
Real Pissed

Waylon is 6 1/2 months now. He is more than awesome! I just need a break from time to time. It seems like he likes to parade the baby around and show him off, but when it comes to some dirty work (diapers, baths, feeding first foods, or just plain hold him when he is crying) he is not stepping up to the plate.
It makes it worse when he is drinking. I got really sick in NYC this past trip. I thought I had the flu, but it turned out to me mastitis (oh that sucked). Instead of helping me back to health, he went to the bars till 3am. By himself too. His other guy friends we were with didn't even go. They actually helped me out more. It is miserable being that sick in a unfamiliar city with a baby. He did it 2 nights in a row. But god forbid if I wanted to go out, he puts up a fuckin fit!
I tried to take a shower last night and asked him to watch the baby. He groaned and said, "but you take such long showers..." I couldn't believe that came out of his mouth!! Did he not just go to the bar without me putting up a fight?! I let him do anything he wants and don't complain.
Is he not aware or just stupid?
It's really getting on my nerves. If I say something, his response is..."fine...fine...I know I suck! I suck!"
what is this? There is no communication and its getting worse....
Seriously...what should I do. Talking doesn't cut it. Should I see a counselor...I feel so lame doing that, but my anger is really getting the best of me.

5 Comments on How Can I Get My Husband To Fu*kin Help Me Out?

15yearsapart - Tuesday, 29 Sep
I know this post was from months ago, so hopefully you got it straight. If not, men are retards and maybe we are too for putting up with them. Mine does the same thing. Hell, mine should be better cuz he's old, but I guess they never change. I thought I would get help with housework since I have the extra job w/ the baby and didn't happen. Anyway, I don't think talking about it like a mature person will work. That's why women are accused of being manipulative...it's the only way with men sometimes. I don't have any brilliant ideas for you at the moment though

bezzi44 - Saturday, 18 Jul
looks like you got some good advice....sorry that he's being a DB...

I can only suggest to talk openly to him when you're NOT mad. Ask for help. Let him know you'd like him to help and bond with the baby and ask him what HE thinks he can help you out with. Then hold him to it. =)

Lou-Li-Ro - Wednesday, 15 Jul
"Is he not aware or just stupid?" -- No, he's a man. They are all quite selfish and need to be taught the balance. They really are dim sometimes; they don't take hints. Subtlety does NOT work with them; women need to be straight-out with them, say it in plain English. Have a row with him, tell him how you feel, draw him a diagram of his behaviour if you have to!!! You tell a man, "Yes honey that's fine, you go on out I'll be fine here" -- he WILL. You tell a man, "No no it's fine I don't need a night out" -- He'll believe you. You tell a man, "Why don't you just go have a nap for a while?" -- HE WILL!!! Here's a mistake I made recently when I was pissed off that my man had band practice for days and days and I was on my own with the twins, I texted him all pissed off and said, "Well why don't you just stay up there for the night then?" wanting him to say, no way, of course not, I want to see you tonight, I'll be home for dinner. Guess what? He said, "Oh great, fine, see you tomorrow!" DUH! They are NOT like women -- we are creatures of subtlety and hints and vibes -- just think of how you might relate to your sister or mother or friend, she can tell when you're pissed off when you haven't even said anything, you can tell when she is and you've probably guessed already what it's about and have the solution worked out in your head, whereas with a man it is totally different (usually! I know there CAN be exceptions!) We send out subtle vibes expecting them to pick them up like a woman would, but we have to realise they are not getting it!!! It takes years to train them up, but it has to start now. When he is not working and is at home, all the chores have to be 50/50, you will tell him what you have done and then say, so now you have to do such-and-such. Here's what I do, "I've put out the washing so now will you unpack the dishwasher?". Or pretend to give him a choice, pick two tasks and then say, "Which would you like to do, this or that?" Chances are you'll already know the one he'll pick, so choose carefully! I find this works because it makes everything even and makes him aware of what needs to be done daily. They really are dim, their mothers can never finish rearing them, because it is impossible! You need to confront him and say, "look, this isn't fair, just think about it -- how do you think I feel when you go out and leave me here, ill, to do everything for myself and the baby on my own? Try and empathise for a minute -- imagine you had flu, basically, and I went out to a bar and left you with the baby on your own to do everything by yourself while you're sick? You would be pissed off and you would have EVERY RIGHT to be! Well, that is how I FEEL!!!" This might help because he will be forced to put himself in your shoes for a second and realise what he's done wrong. You see, women are great at empathising, we can automatically put ourselves in the other person's shoes, and that's how we end up doing too much. Men don't have this function! They don't easily empathise, they're too busy scratching their balls. Good luck hun, let me know how you get on -- i've been there! but you CAN fix it x

MAMAjo ♥ - Tuesday, 14 Jul
hmmmmmm... i left my ex-husband for that! but i am SUPER hot-headed and have a short temper... ONE STRIKE AND UR OOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT!!! So i'm alone with BOTH babies and quite frankly, its better! cuz he was technically a THIRD baby to feed and clean after! thats just me tho... I think there isn't any cure to men like that! I think they grow out of it when they're ready to... till then, i think u may be on ur own...

kinta - Tuesday, 14 Jul
Men are retarded!! Chris and I were seeing a councellor but then he went away to america and then he was sick and he never fucking rang us and told us, but im still considering ringing him to make an appointment because things were working so good when we were seeing him seperately and together. I feel like there is no communication in our relationship, we just get angry and each other and say nothing and then just act all pissed off. I go to bed every night thinking about all these things i want to say to him but i never do? I just can seem to communicate. He has come so far, he only has the occassional drink, not even once a week and he cooks and he works, but im still unhappy, im still angry at him. He doesnt bond with Bonnie at all, I spend all day with her but he only gets such a short time and he sits in front of the tv or plays xbox and holds her, i feel sorry for her, like shes just not getting the attention she needs. He cant seem to get around his head that her needs come before his, he always does things before himself and looks after her at the same time. I get angry because Im always playing with Bonnie and I'm exhausted but when he looks after he probably thinks this is all i do, sit in front of the tv with her on my lap! He NEVER feeds her, milk or food, and then if he has to do anything he's like "can u help me" It's like "do u think i get help when im alone with her everyday?" He works 4 days a week, i work every fricking day and i dont get a weekend to sleep in. I sometimes look at him and just get so jealous because i wish i knew what it felt like to know someone else is going to take care of my responsibiliies, that i can just wake up in the morning and sit on the couch while someone else gets a bottle, gets a bib and feeds our baby. UGH makes me so mad, but at the same time, its my fault, because i just do it all, because i feel like its my job? I feel like i have to do it before i do anything for myself. Chris just ups and goes when he pleases, he doesnt understand that you have to work ur life around a child. If we want to go out, we cant just up and go if shes hungry, we have to feed her. But he doesnt see that...ANYWAY, sorry to vent (WHERE HAVE U BEEN!!!) haha feels good to let it out. I think you should go talk to someone, sometimes its good to have another person to give there opinion (which is probably the same as yours) and they'll actually listen to them since its not coming from you. Men are immature, they give up fuck all, we give up EVERYTHING. Sometimes i wish they could carry the child or at least breastfeed or have some responsibility that only they could give the child so they understood how it feels to come second.

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