17-3-2009 - Just Here

My mood while writing this blog: bubububub eh....

So here I am 31 weeks with these lil boys swimming around in here. I’m still on bed rest which is the pits but at least I have a computer, TV, and book to keep my company. I get the occasional phone call. My 3 year old is about hours away with my mom because I couldn’t have her here because I have no family close to me and since I'm on bed rest there’s no one to help watch her. I miss her a lot! She understands as much as a 3 year old can. She’s just on a vacation. She can’t wait for her "baby brothers" to be here. Ha yesterday when I asked her what she was going to name em she said "dinglehopper" and "little mermaid", she’s so silly. Still my head is spinning all day and now even at night.

On another note, we're still waiting to hear about the house that we're supposed to be buying. I know we still have time but its nerve racking because I already want to know if we're going to have a place for these kids. At the moment we live in a two bedroom apt with a roommate. We definitely need our own place before the boys get here. Which seems to be fast approaching. I am so not used relying on a guy when making decisions so it’s a bit strange to have my bf and his parents doing the whole housing thing. I'm just praying that the loan goes through and they give us a closing date cause then at least I’ll know we have a date to look forward to.

Besides the house thing we don’t anything for the boys as of yet cause the baby shower we were going to have had to cancelled due to the whole bed rest issue. We just decided on two names (finally). My bf was finally serious about the name issue and we've got Noah James and Philip Michael. I really like the names. I pretty much picked one and my bf the other. SO that’s one less thing on my mind.

Since I’m on bed rest I had to take a short term disability leave from work which my job is supposed to be paying me while I’m on it but at this point I’m still in constant communication with the leaves dept from work and my doctor cause there forms that my doctor is slacking off on sending through. Don’t they know they are holding up my pay? It’s not fun to have to call these people everyday. All I can do is take a breath and remember they are just people working for a company and I am NOT the only thing they have on their mind... its helps some when I rationalize it that way.

On some days I kinda feel like crying for no reason. And I know at the risk of sounding like a baby, I want my mom. Seriously I wish my mom was here. Which is funny because I am so independent at all times except when I am preggy. At least last time my mom and I lived in the same area but now I live 4 hours away and I know she won’t be here while I am in labor like she was with my first. At least this time my bf will be there. Even now as I write this I can feel the tears welling up. I am such a baby.

I am glad that I have a place to express how I feel. This site has been a great resource (I think I may be addicted but that’s something I’ll have to tackle at a later date lol)

So thank God I’ve made it this far and I pray that I can continue to carry these boys for as long as God grants me to. I pray also for the other ladies on this site.

Well if you've gotten this far in my blog thank you for reading!!!!