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18-4-2008 - This crazy little thing called LOVE

My mood while writing this blog: cherished

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Here I sit alone in the night…the darkness around me is overwhelmingly calm, the soft breeze brings comfort to my feet. Stars glistening through the crack of the window shades and the sounds of the city below filled with laughter and drunken shouts.

Looking around me I realize how much my life has changed, this dark apartment, the clothes I'm wearing, the dinner I ate. My search for this thing called "Love" ceases. All those years of hoping and praying, you think you've got it and then you realize it was just a façade. Then when fear strikes you and your left alone, you realize just then in your grasp was what you were searching for, the very thing called "Love"…. and you let it go. How can something so simple become so complex for some and still others find it almost incapable of producing? So with all the millions of people in the world, how is it that not a single decent person can create this feeling of love within me. The heck with it all….it's just me…me and my friends, me and my parties, me and my fun, me and Soco. Then suddenly as if you've been hit by a freight train, you meet someone. When you realize this could be what you've been looking for paranoia hits! Don't lose this one, don't say the wrong thing, don't do this…, don't do that…can I do this…what if I did this…Enough with it all…I'm packing up my bags and heading home! He's like the rest of them, he's no different, it's cool, it's exciting at first, but soon enough it all changes…it always does…this one's no different…what's the point! Yes, we've all been there.

Here's my story!

It was just 12 days ago that my life took a turn, which leaves me to this lonely night alone. It all started several years back in an old Mexican town, on a hill called "The Mesa" in a little take-out restaurant called Super Cucas. What an interesting name for this place, which came to me so highly recommended. I approached the door with smells of beef on the grill, the Lakers game on t.v. and a smile from an unexpected dashing Mexican man. Several visits and many Super Nachos later and finally he speaks to me. I know little of this man, but the curiosity within me begins to bubble in my stomach. He invites me to a place called "Ruby's". The anticipation of dancing, the comfort of his smile and the thought of this charming Cucas guy taking Me out, leaves me racing home in excitement and disbelief. As we danced and twirled on the floor, I can hardly believe this sensual, romantic, floating dance is really happening to me. I feel like Cinderella twirling in a music box. Know one around us existed, just me, and this dashingly charming Mexican man. It was only a matter of time that this romance turned into love. No works of my own…it just happened. Before I knew it I woke with eagerness of each new day in his arms.

The day was approaching fast, I can't believe this is really happening to me, I've waited so long and now it's here…and it's here for me! I do look beautiful don't I…but it's not this dress I see…it's something deeper…this feeling deep within me which I once thought was dead. So this is what it feels like, this is how it begins. Each step I take feels like eternity, he's so handsome! Okay here we go, it's me! At last it's me! Then as I glaze into his eyes and our hands lock, calmness, serenity, peace enters my entire body. We're in our world again, no one around us exist…I hear those words speaking, I know those words speaking…my heart has said them a million times. Now it's my turn! "From the first time I saw you, you captured me with just a smile, and with our first dance you made the whole world around us stand still. Each and everyday since then you brought happiness to my life, love to my heart, and peace to my soul. On this day and forever, I whole-heartedly give you my unending love and devotion. I will be true to you, respect you, care for you, and love you for the gorilla you are." And just like that it happened!

So as I sit here on this couch alone in this dark room, how my life has changed. Knowing just down the hall, asleep in my once lonely bed, is the dashingly charming Mexican Cucas guy, my husband, my best friend and the one and only man I have ever truly loved. Crazy hah, this little thing called love!

Dedicated to: Hector the only gorilla for me!

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