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|10-9-2011 - major vent blog!
||My mood while writing this blog:|
hi ladies i have decided to write a blog today to vent out all my frustrations! ok where to start, well as some of you already no i lost my dog a week ago and she still hasnt been returned i miss her soooo much, origionally i bought her because i had had seth and he turned out to be a boy so i wanted a little girl to pamper, so as you can imagine she is like a baby to me, my heart is slowly breaking not having her around! also my relationship is not what i expected to have by now where is my prince? the guy that adores me and treats me like there princess? im 31 i imagined id be married to him now, instead im in a agressive none loving relationship constantly broke and always trying to scrape by and make ends meet! we had to have social services round the other day beause our kids were in the house (not in the same room tho) when me and leigh were fighting last week (and i called the police because i didnt no what else to do) , they basically told us off and said although they can see the kids arnt in any danger (i already knew that) it cant happen again, wich is fair enough, i just never thought id be one of "those" mums who had the social services round! also i was currently on antidepressent medication as i suffered post natal depression with both my boys but as im pregnant i have slowly been weaned off them cause i can not take them after im 5 months pregnant due to the fact the baby will become reliant on them and when born could have fits and heart problems and i dont want that! so im completely off them now (wich is probably making life "feel" alot harder than it is and also the pregnancy hormones too) i no i have lots of things to be grateful for for instance my dad has just had his last dose of chemotherapy this week as he had bowel cancer wich has also been hard for me but it looks like he will be much better soon and my pregnancy is a healthy one as far as im aware and my children are great although hard work! i could be a lot worse off im not homeless or starving but i cant help but to dwell on the not so good parts in my life...ok i have rambled on and on i just needed to vent thanks for reading x
10 Comments on major vent blog!suzmBLUE!
- Monday, 12 Sep Vicky - I am so sorry that all of this is going on. I was thinking about you over the weekend and wondering if your dog ever came back around and how you were doing in general. Relationships are so tough, and when there are kids involved it makes it 10 times worse. There are times where I wonder what I was thinking marrying my DH, but then I look at how much my daughter relishes every moment when she has all together and I think... well, I picked him - the least I can do is try to make this all work for the best. I think we keep it together well in front of her and we have plenty of good times, but as I said a few weeks ago we still have this blow-outs. Good for you for trying counseling and realizing if it doesn't work it is time to move on. My mom did the same thing - she had my sister and brother, and then got pg with my other brother on a one-off chance just as she was thinking there was no saving the marriage and sure enough, she left their dad when my brother was 5 months old and though it was tough, she always said the relief she felt from being away from a toxic relationship that couldn't be saved outweighed any hardship she endured. None of us really know the intricacies of your relationship, but you will make the right decision for you and your kids. It is great news about your dad though, and we will soon find out if we have team pink or team blue hanging out in our bellies! Can't wait for that - and... my belly is getting hairy too! You posted that the same day I had noticed it on mine. Take care!! I hope the venting helped a bit. mynewbaybee(pink)
- Sunday, 11 Sep U dont want my mouth goin on the man thing....giiiiirrrrrrllllll! Anywho dont let negative life so perfect ppl bring u down...I read a lot of judgemental comments and I am going to humble myself from going off on the perfect life chic and just say TRUST GOD! Tashwith3
- Sunday, 11 Sep Sorry to read your sad blog. Your children deserve to have a happy and stable home life, as does your unborn baby, so it's really good that you are acknowledging your relationship problems and tackling them. Good luck! :o) vickywoodhall(teamblue!)
- Sunday, 11 Sep Thanks to all the comments left second and excited if im honest I didnt want anymore children and wouldnt of had any more especially so soon given the choice I got pregnant from having sex once without using protection and I believe in fate I was meant to have this baby I wouldnt of tried for another under the circumstances we are gonna have councilling and if that doesnt sort us out then il leave I dont have anywhere else to go but I will find somewhere should it come to that x liss313
- Saturday, 10 Sep You know I am going to be honest... I can't STAND people who say things like secondandexcited said...who the hell is she to make a judgement like that...i would tell her something.. ANYWAY that's a whole other story. I am a single mother of 2, about to have 3, I am not married, and am barely scraping by. BUT you know what, I am so happy. The kind of happy you cannot buy no matter how "well off" you are. Money doesn't bring happiness, maybe temporarily. Not REAL happiness. I was in that situation like you a few months ago. I had to leave that man for the sake of my peace of my mind and my kids...especially them, Girl, I know exactly what you are going through. I thought I was going to collapse, but we are doing OK. Really. My father died shortly after my first son was born, he had a lot of complications....he was 82 years old...my mom passed away when I was 17, and my kids father does not give a damn about us. Talk about hardships..lol. I know it's going to be hard at first, but my kids really help me get through life. Look at your kids and realize how much they love you. I mean REALLY look at them after dinner or something, and think about it. Wouldn't you do anything to make them happy. Dad needs you to be healthy so he can meet that baby! Your kids are and should be the only thing that matters right now. Leave that jerk. And if you are in no position to leave him like physically/financially...(meaning u don't have any where to go) start working on a plan to get you and kids a loving home. I never expected my life would turn out like this. Unmarried with kids and no job. BUT SHIT HAPPENS. if people planned their life so damn perfect wouldn't we all be like princess diana or somebody rich, driving a Rolls royce with the perfect husband?? If you have to think about what you are spending you can;t afford it. Forget what people say...they are probably more unhappy or living a lie...you'd be surprised the lives people live behind closed doors. We are just woman enough to tell our story. I commend you. If you ever wanna just talk IM me. babylicious2(blue)
- Saturday, 10 Sep that cray ur dog went missing my dog went missing too last week and it turnss out he got out the yard and someone stole him we go thim back a few days later i caught the lady that stole him i hope u get ur pup back too hopefully someone will see ur doggie and turn her in ppl need to know how much ppl love they pets! i hope all is well otherwise! 3blessings
- Saturday, 10 Sep I'm not trying to be mean, but if you are just scraping by, why on earth would you have another child?! As for the abusive relationship, I can relate to that because my husband was abusive for years and I finally left a little over 3 months ago. The only thing I can tell you is that without counseling on both your parts, the abuse will never stop... vickywoodhall(teamblue!)
- Saturday, 10 Sep Thanks a2d and jojo, I will look to the positive I have been a single mum before it's so hard work but trust me I have thought about leaving lots of times-were about to start relationship councilling as a last attempt to make things work x A2D
- Saturday, 10 Sep There is a lot happening for you at this time. Don't be too hard on yourself. My dad too had cancer a long time ago, and that alone was hard enough. You are also expecting now. Take it easy, I will still pray for you. Best of luck xxx jojo09 1 pink 1 blue
- Saturday, 10 Sep Hi hun, have you considered asking your doctor if you can speak to a counsellor? It sounds to me like you need some emotional support while your pregnant due to coming off your medication. It might be worth mentioning this to your doctor that you feel like you need someone to talk to until you've had the baby.... I hope things pick up for you hun, like you said you are very lucky that you already have 2 beautiful children & are having a healthy pregnancy & your dads health is improving - try to look forward at all the lovely times you have ahead of you to keep you strong. As for the aggressive relationship, I cant really comment on this as I would never personally stay with someone who hurt me & made me unhappy, i would rather be a single mum than fight with the childrens father everyday but thats just me. I`m thinking of you hun xxx