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20-10-2009 - Mood Swings

My mood while writing this blog: Depressed

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I'm having the worst mood swings ever, i just want to cry so bad! To make things even worse, i just had a cold sore pop up today... lovely. I wish i had never started back to college, my stress level is horrendous right now, i have an 8 page research paper, 4 page essay and a 2 page essay due next week, and a test in the class i have most trouble in. How do i juggle all this plus my son and my appointments? I'm getting overwhelmed, but i only have one month left and if i quit now i would have to pay back all my financial aid! And i know this shouldn't make me this upset, but my friend found out what she's having today, but only her and her husband know, and they aren't telling anyone until the baby's born i'm not really upset about that, the thing is that we were pregnant together with our sons, and i'm just afraid that she is going to have a girl and i will have a boy, and I will just be so jealous and depressed that she got a girl, it sounds stupid i know, i know it's pregnant hormones, but there's nothing i can do about it i just feel sooooo sad! I'm so ready to find out what we are having so that i don't have to sit here and worry about it not being a girl and if it is a boy just accept it start buying cute boy stuff and move on and be happy. Usually you would have to wait until 18 weeks at least to find out, but i have a friend who has a friend how is a sono tech and did her sono at 14 weeks when she found out what she was having. It would be awesome if i could find out that soon so that i can just quit being so down. I have a sonogram next week and i know i should be happy about it, but i just feel so depressed i can't get excited. Hopefully when i'm there during the sonogram I will feel better, nothing about this pregnancy seems real to me yet except all the negative changes i've gone through, becuase i haven't had a sono or heard the heart beat, so maybe seeing the baby will lift my spirits and pick me up a little! Any advice from moms who have felt similar would be greatly appreciated, i don't remember feeling like this with my son i was excited about every little thing!

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3 Comments on Mood Swings


katfishes - Saturday, 31 Oct
Hey, hope you are feeling better than when you wrote this. As Rebecca said you've only got a month left...even less now. Stick to it. You will feel such a sense of accomplishment when you finish, and it will be something to be proud of...being able to finish school with Caden and preg with Bub no.2. Keep your chin up and whenever you are feeling down, you know you have the support of all your friends here!

rebecca1989 - Wednesday, 21 Oct
Aw, i'm sorry that you're feeling this way. You've only got one month left at school, you can do it! I hope you get the girl you want, but i agree with what thinkpink said, "That new baby will bring you great joy regardless of the gender " Also, for depression you could try listening to some music that makes you happy, and avoid things that seem to set you off (after i had a miscarriage i had to avoid anything having to do with babies, so maybe you could just aviod things that make you think about baby girls) Hope you feel better!

thinkpink - Wednesday, 21 Oct
My cousin was pregnant at the same time I was with my first son and she had a little girl named Maggie 2 weeks after I had him. Then my brothers wife was pregnant when I miscarried and she had a little girl named Hannah. Finally, I got the news that my sister in law was pregnant with a baby girl when I was trying to get pregnant again and then I miscarried right around the time she was born. Believe me that I understand the disappointment but you don't know if you'll be disappointed yet.:-) God is sending you a beautiful healthy baby and it is HIS choice because he has a purpose for you. Just remember that you are blessed and it is HIS plan for you and your family. That new baby will bring you great joy regardless of the gender and if it isn't a girl this time maybe that's because HE has plans for you to have more than 2 babies! If it is a boy, your son will have a great buddy to play with and hopefully will have a bond like my 2 boys that you would never want to take away. Keep your spririts up because your a pretty girl and I'm sure that cold sore is doing nothing to take away from that. I hope you do well in school hun. Have a great day!