17-8-2009 - 16 Week update

My mood while writing this blog: Active

Okay, 16 weeks. Haven't felt any movement since I thought I felt something at 15 weeks, I hope that means everything is ok. For some reason it is starting to bother me more and more that I don't know the sex. It is my first and would be very happy with either but I just want to know so I can start planning things. Secretly I would perfer a boy but a girl would be amazing as well. The heat, 97 F or 36 C, that it has been almost all week is really starting to get to me. It is making me feel like my nausea is coming back.

I was extremely depressed a few weeks ago and when I was younger was always on medication for severe depression but have decided not to tell my doctor. I am scared if she knows she is going to give me some pills that could have adverse effects on the baby. I know she would prescribe something as safe as possible but I just don't like pills being pushed on me as well and nothing is 100%. So I have made the decision to be happy. Nights are hard sometimes but I just keep as busy as possible during the day and make the decision to be happy. It is helping that things are improving with my boyfriend, slowly. It is just so hard having to be there to support him and tell him everything is going to be ok, when I myself don't know that and sometimes I just want someone to give me a hug. I have to try and make everything ok for him and be strong. I love him a lot but I love my baby more and just want everything to turn out. Oh well, I am starting to get myself down, so more happy baby news!

I am calling my doctor in now to find out when my next ultrasound is and hopefully can find out the sex of the baby. She said it would be the beginning of September/end of August so it will be soon. I also just can't wait to see it again. It drives me crazy not being able to have a visual that it is ok all the time. well wish me luck and I hope all you girls have a wonderful week.