12-1-2009 - Spotting last night/ER

My mood while writing this blog: Devastated

Last night I sat here at the computer, then had to pee, so went to restroom. I peed, then wiped, got blood. Totally freaked out. I figured, well, I wanted to see the doctor for official pg test anyways, so I told DH I was headed to ER.

Got to ER, signed in. Took me back, told me to put on gown. Got blood drawn, external and internal ultrasound. I asked the sonographer "well, how's it look" he just stated that he would give the images to the doctor and they would discuss their findings with the ER doctor....I got nervous. I knew I was only 4 weeks, and that they probably couldnt see but the sac.......Well as i waited, the nurse came to get me for the pelvic exam, outside the exam room, here comes my doctor and says, while we are all still in hallway "i just want to save you the trip, looks like you arent pregnant anymore, that the pregnancy just didn't work out" I was like, dude, im in the freaking hallway and youre telling me this here!!!!!!!! I was so pissed, hello, confidentiality! I finally stepped into the room, with a quivering lip sat down to the exam chair, while doc is coming in telling me that my HCG level is at 2 and that I must have tested in the middle of a miscarriage. I said "so its like a chemical pregnancy?" (i have been reading up on this website, so he is telling me everything that sounds like chemical pregnancy) and he says no, that my fertilized egg must have implanted then it just didn't "work out"......He finally did my exam and left. I told the nurse i was not okay, that i was pissed that he would tell me sad news while we were all standing in the hallway. She agreed that he was not right by doing that. Anyways, my discharge papers state "miscarriage". So the end.

Now i see why that website peeonastick tells you NOT to test before AF is due. I never want to pee on a stick again! Ill just wait till i am having morning sickness and/or showing before I go test again. I will also NOT tell anyone until im at least 8 weeks again.