~YummyMummy~'s I-am-pregnantblog

~YummyMummy~
	Age: 25 Country: UK Province/region: Cheshire City: Macclesfield Partner: Yes Children: Yes, 2 Pregnant: Yes Due date: 03 Aug ,2011 Occupation: Stay at Home Mummy :)
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 397 days ago. Member since: 861 days
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11-11-2009 - Week 13 day 3

My mood while writing this blog:
Ok

Well thought i'd write a blog as writing down how I feel generally makes me feel a bit better but wow I am having one hell of a bad week and day so far.
I feel completely drained emotionally and just can't stop crying. Me and my bf have only been together for 6 months and he has only just moved in. He is married and currently going through a divorce and has 3 children. The problem is is since he has moved in he has just made constant comparisons between his kids and my son, making me feel inadequate as a parent and also he comes across as quite materialistic. I've not got nothing but for an example I live in a 2 bed house with my son and he lived in a 4 bed house with his wife and 2.4 children. I just feel like I can never live upto to the life he's had. How can you make someone whose had everything happy?
He doesn't discuss the baby and nor does he seem too interested, he tells me that he wants it and he loves me but only when I argue with him.
I feel like I'm trying to make everyone else happy when I'm crumbling completely on the inside. He made comment before on the phone about how something must be wrong if ever since hes moved in I've been sad. Making out its my fault and I just cant stop crying.
I can't stop worrying about how things are going to work out and can't stop worrying about trying to make him happy. I'm currently signed off work with high boood pressure and feel really poorly and down today, nothing is right.
I'm even struggling stopping smoking, yeah I dont smoke as much but I still am, I think i honestly feel that this baby had changed my life for the worst and although I'm happy and excited inside about the baby am now worried that i'm growing detatched.
I just want to be happy :((...

2 Comments on Week 13 day 3

pantira - Wednesday, 11 Nov
hang in there girl... if its anything to go by, I am crying a lot too at the moment, hormones just seem to to do that and being stuck at home resting is not easy for anyone. I know this is easier said then done, but try to just stay focussed short term, 1 day at a time, even go smaller if you have to. Just remember you cant be responsible for making someone else happy, the only person you can look after and change is you. so look at the good things and the happiness that you have shared with your BF, all relationships go through difficult times, and sometimes we have to remind ourselves that its normal and we are ok. Males dont always understand when we need assurance, I have had to learn this with my hubby, I have to tell him when I am feeling emotional, it helps him understand that its not something he has done, but that I will need him more, and he makes the time for that and gives me a little extra tlc when i need it. And dont stress about detachment, our emotions are all over the place, and when that little one is born you will love them just as much as you do your son... it will come naturally.

**ZeNoBiA89** - Wednesday, 11 Nov
awww girl......i dont even know what to say because i dont really know the situation but you deserve to be ahppy and have a guy there thats just as excited as you are.....this is a hard time and hormones are not playing a fair role so you might be more emotional and thinking more than usual.......you have to worry about you and the baby not keeping other people happy....because in the end if those people arent there thats the only two people that will be you and your baby....you have come this far and it does get hard but hang in there for that little bundle inside you and try and keep strong.....you know my favourite quote is: Everything is okay in the end, if things arent okay its clearly not the end.....:-) Hugs!!! xoxo

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