14-9-2008 - Frustrated

My mood while writing this blog: alright

Sorry this is long...

Our lease on our townhouse is up at the end of December so I thought that I would look at some of the houses for rent in the city that my mom lives. The apartments are outrageous in cost for the size of the apartments! They want almost $1300 for a small one bed/one bath. I pay $850/month currently for a two story two bedroom/two bath large townhouse. The cost per month of the new places we can afford but I was hoping to get a three bedroom but the cost of those are like $1600-$1700 per month! That is almost as much as I was paying last year for my mortgage! These apartments are crappy too! No assigned parking... shitty carpet.. yuck appliances and fees out the ass just trying to get into one! We have two cats and to get into an apartment they want a $500 pet fee for each. Thats a grand of non-refundable money just to have our two cats.. which who by the way are older, declawed, and fixed. Meaning they don't damage an apartment in anyway. $1k is just way too much for pet fees! And this doesn't count the regular deposit on the apartment which is normally the amount of one month's rent. So for me and Bobby to get a two or three bedroom apartment we would pay first months rent ($1500-$1700), pet deposit ($1000), regular security deposit ($1500-$1700), application fees ($150), misc. paperwork fee ($200)... I mean come on! We just don't have that kind of money right now! Majority of the people that I know can' t pull that amount of money out of their pocket right now! I would take us a year to save that much! *sigh*

so I looked at regular houses for rent.. which are actually tons cheaper than apartments and are much nicer. I mean who would want to live in an apartment with someone living under you.. and on top of you.. fighting over parking spaces...when you could live in a nice subdivision with a new house.. nice kitchen.. a garage.. and a yard all to yourself? I found a new 3bed/2bath 2100 square foot house in a gated community for $1275/month.. lease or it is rent to own! However.. it's available now.. not the end of December lol! But there are others that I found like I liked all around the $1000-$1300 range. We can afford that per month but still coming up with the security deposit will be tough! At least there aren't all the freakin rediculous fees for pets.. paperwork.. applications. Who makes up all that crap anyways? Why does it cost so much to prepare the paperwork and application? I can understand the security deposit.. but non-refundable pet deposits are rediculous.

Anyways.. Bobby and I have decided to stay at our current townhouse until our lease runs out- can't afford to loose our security deposit for breaking the lease.. so we'll be here until the end of December.. but then I am due. I don't want to move when the baby is due! I want to have my house all ready and the nursery set up! So we are considering signing a 6 month lease or a month-to-month lease after our year lease is up in December.. that way we can save some money for a couple months to get a nice house around the area where my mom lives and the baby will be at least 6 months old when we move. I also get to set up a nursery now :o) happy happy lol! We'll be moving the office into our bedroom and using the office for the nursery. The rooms are huge so the two desks will fit in our bedroom and the old office will be plenty big enough for a nursery... I can't paint it though.. maybe I can do borders?

I still feel like pulling my hair out though.. just frustrates me that things cost so much. Up until a couple months ago money wasn't an issue. I didnt' have to budget.. didn't have to check the bank account.. bought anything I needed without a second thought. This pregnancy time has been an eye opener for me... I have really had to change my way of thinking. I know I sound spoiled but I am used to the way things were. Bobby and I worked really hard to get where we were.. we had a beautiful house that we built and were there for a year.. had a 79 camero, an limited explorer, and a brand new mustang... I worked for a lawfirm so I had nice clothes.. I got my hair done every month at an expensive salon.. I had the designer shoes.. All this and I wasn't even 21 yet.. I thought I had it made! Then I lost my job for the first time.. laid off. I was out of work for three months.. that just killed our savings. I made more than Bobby then so with my paycheck gone it took everything we had in savings along with his paycheck to pay our mortgage.. car payments.. insurance. Then I was hired back at the lawfirm.. same position same money but I was the only one hired back.. out of three paralegals so I was doing the work of three people.. so I quit a couple months after being rehired. It has just gone downhill from there.. I wasn't able to get another job in the area that I had been working because news travels fast and everyone knew that I was pregnant and with the job market the way it was no one was going to hire someone who was pregnant. We moved out of our house because we couldn't keep up with the payments.. we had the house on the market for almost a year trying to sell it before we filed a bankruptcy. Lost the house (which wasn't a bad thing), our cars, our credit. We have been renting a townhouse since January.. which isn't that bad... Bobby is driving the camero and I am borrowing my gramas neon for a couple months until I can get another car. The job market around here just sucks though.. I applied everywere that was looking for someone.. I live within 15 minutes of three walmarts and NONE of them have been hiring for the past four months. Can you believe it? I can't even get a cashier job! Which I do have experience with.. I worked as a cashier and then a trainer at Target for 9 months when I was 16..

.. just frustrated with life a little bit right now.. I am so happy that I am having a baby but this is not how I wanted to bring one into the world.. Bobby and I weren't going to try for a baby until prob 5 years from now.. we wanted to be financially secure before it happened.. surprises do happen though! I know I'm rambling but I just had to get it out.. Bobby doesn't like to talk to me about stuff like this so I end up keeping it inside and stressing out about it (which I'm trying not to do because of beanie!)...

On a happier note I have an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon to check the placenta placement. I get to see my beanie again! Hopefully I will be able to confirm that my beanie is a boy.. or a girl. Then I call stop calling it beanie lol! I'll put new sonogram pics up when I get them :)