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04-10-2008 - Feeling kinda lost

My mood while writing this blog: Glum

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Hopefully this isn't too personal.. but I feel kinda at a loss. Bobby's mom told him today that he was circumcised after implying his whole life that he wasn't. I mean I have done research and seen pictures and stuff and Bobby didn't "seem" like he was circumcised. Suddenly he is something that I didn't think he was.. I mean I feel weird.. I don't know what to think.. I mean I am actually quite mad at her that she kept this a secret this long. I can tell Bobby feels strange because he always thought that he was "normal".. and I feel strange too. I look at him and he's not what he was.. I mean he is Bobby but sexually I am thinking of him kinda differently because circumcision is something I feel strongly about and do NOT like the practice...

Also, now he is thinking it's best to get Joel circumcised because he was.. on top of everything else about Joel's birth.. I don't need this to fight about right now..

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7 Comments on Feeling kinda lost


juniper willow - Monday, 6 Oct
hey I am sorry that you are having to deal with this..does it really matter, obviously he wasn't completely circumcised or you could tell..beleiev there is quite a difference and lubrication is much more on an uncircumcised penis...I have lived in both the US and Europe and have had lovers taht were both curcumcised and uncircumcised...I am having a real dilemna on whether or not to circumcise our son but will most likeyly circumcise him as his father, my husband, is circumcised and his preference is to be circumcised but liek all good men he left thsi HARD decision up to me and yes, I worry about it..but I wouldn't see my husband any other way..I hope you can get use dto eth idea..what bothers you about it, how do you feel different becuase obvioulsy your partner's penis hasn't changed, just your perceptionof it...I am sure it will all work out for you..but I am sorry that you are having to go through thsi..mind trips are just that mind trips that can take us down scary roads...remember he is still the man you love an dfind sexy..

gisik - Monday, 6 Oct
Here in the UK we don't circumcise. I consider it like this - god made boys this way and the foreskin has a purpose - to stop dirt etc. getting in!! - imagine the skin as an eyelid....would you consider your eye to be cleaner without it? As I said - most UK men are not circumcised and I don't know of any men who have suffered with infections... but i think it's a question of beliefs...my husband is Turkish and it's their culture to circumcise (when the boy is about 10 years old)...however, I am adamant that my son is not being circumcised unless there is a medical reason to be... I have seen some horrific stories when circumcisions have gone wrong. At the end of the day the choice is yours...do what you and your partner think is right and don't listen to others.

mrswood - Monday, 6 Oct
That is so weird of a thing for his mother to do. I am sorry for both of you that she manipulated you like that. There is so much information available online about circumcision, Amy. I would suggest you make a bookmark section just for that and send your husband reading. Wether he likes to or not, it's for you son and it's important. I don't see what the logic is in changing his mind now that he thinks he is not circumcised. Especially if he is having a difficult time with that thought. Why then put that on your son, just because you had it? Makes no sense. There is plenty of info, check it out. (one great thing is it is moving out of our country... about 30-35% of newborns are now uncircumcised and that number is rising steadily. So, if he is concerned about him 'fitting in' he needn't worry. And if he questions it for health reasons, there is tons and tons of research (and if you look at how few places still practice this) saying there is no proof whatsoever that there is any higher risk of infection for uncircumcised boys). I can give you some sites if you like.

PS. There is a Pen & Teller's Bullshit episode about this. It is what changed my husbands mind. Again, I didn't discuss it with him. I just showed him stuff and waited for him to show an interest in what I believe. Then, I let him have it! ;0) You can get Pen & Teller Bullshit on Netflix. xxx

annie3 - Sunday, 5 Oct
hey amy.where i am circumcision is not the done thing and nobody i know was. if my bf told me now that he was i don't think it would affect my thoughts towards him(i hope) but i still wouldn't have it done to my son. i personally couldn't put a baby thru that. i kow in other places its the norm and thats fine, everyone has their own beliefs and feelings and i would never put them down for that, but its not something i could do, and if you don't feel comfortable having it done to your son don't feel pressured. after all bobby didn't know he was and he wasn't bothered so its not something he's always flet strongly about and i don't think its fair to throw this at you now. just make sure your happy with the decision. xxx

ALLECIA73 - Sunday, 5 Oct
When their not circumcised I've heard it's really hard to teach your son to clean properly down there and it's weird doing it for them when they're like 5 and older. I just know with uncircumcised you have to be more careful to keep the extra skin (and where it folds) clean. My son is partially circumcised (birth defect that caused him not to be fully circumcised, not my choice) and it's always been a challenge to clean him there and you don't want it to be a bad circumstance. Now that he's older, I have to remind him to clean down there and he hates it. Just my experience with it.

bunno3 - Sunday, 5 Oct
We had our son circumcised, but my father wasn't & he acts disturbed when anyone says it's not as clean. He says he just cleans himself like anyone else does & has never had a problem. Let me tell ya, my father is a very level-headed man & I adore him. Since it's the norm & most parents do decide to have it done, I didn't want my son to be the only one growing up different. I just did it in mind of Gavin's future in adolescence and sex life. Either way, a penis is a penis to me. :D

barunka05 - Sunday, 5 Oct
i agree with Nicole.I think its just much more easier for man to keep those parts cleaner with circumcision. I'am sorry that u feel that way you do but it wasn't issue for you two before u knew it.As for your son i'am sure u have to talk about it .