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Stella Rose Sex: girl Born: 01 July, 2008 Age: 0 years & 69 days Birthday in: 296 days Starsign: Cancer Development: See the 2 months page. Biggest achievement so far: Head full of hair and can hold her head up like a 3 month old.

We didn't sleep at all the night before. The excitement was too much. We stayed up playing video games and talking. At 6, we left and made our way to the hospital.

They did a NST before anything to make sure she was okay during contractions. She was. They checked me and I was 3cm and 95+% effaced. While checking me, they broke my water. What a weird feeling that was. Soon, the contractions were much more painful and consistent. I never needed any Pitocin or other inducing agent, which really made me happy. I dilated very quickly and ended up laboring for like 11 hours. I handled the contractions well until I hit about 7cm. They gave me Nubain, which was a nice drug. I didn't make me numb and I could still feel everything, it was just less intense. I was doing good until about 8-9cm. At this point, things got out of control for me.

I was wailing and screaming like a banshee. Fuck those books that say focusing on a certain point or breathing helps with pain relief. And for those people I've studied who casually breathe as they push out their baby in their bedroom, they must obviously have some other type of labor than that of what I experienced. There is no coping with the pain. There is only rolling around in self pity and praying for it to stop, even if for a few seconds. My contractions were coming so fast and strong that I had less than 30 seconds of recovery time in between them. I attempted a hot shower, but kept finding myself weak in the knees and wanting to slide down the wall to drown myself. It doesn't help when they have you hooked up to a shitton of IV's for fluids and penicillin. The doctors would not give me any medicine that I wanted and refused to give me Nubain again. They pushed the epidural on me so many times and even when I was in so much pain, I refused. After about an hour an half of intense, mind-blowing pain, no dilation advancement and them pushing the epidural on me over 4 times, I had to give in. My ultimate goal was to avoid a C-section and I knew that if I kept going on like that and putting myself through hell, I would not have enough strength or energy to push when the time came.

So they sent the anesthesiologist, but he took awhile to arrive. He was a real prick and was sure to take his time while inserting the needle and tubes and stuff. I'm not even sure if he knew what he was doing. He probably didn't as I was pretty much a guinea pig in this whole scenario since my nurse was training another nurse, my doctor didn't even end up delivering my baby because she was training a new Asian doctor, and when I was pushing, a ton of other newbie doctors and nurses sat in to watch/learn without my consent. Oh yeah, and my button for the drug release on the epidural was broken, so there I sat with the catheter in my spine, but no drugs and still having terrible contractions. It took over an hour for them to fix the button and get things working. ERG. THEN there was 'air in the lines' and they had to dick around with that for awhile. The worst part about the epidural was when I'd have intense contractions while he was playing around in my spinal cavity. When I'd tense up, he'd yell at me...then of course, I'd yell back. When you're in that much pain and your insurance is paying them to work for you, you take no shit.

The epidural sucked anyway. I mean, sure it took away the extreme pain and relaxed me to the point of a thumbs up, but I hated being numb. I hated not feeling anything. My legs felt like rubber and I couldn't get up to pee. It was a shit ass experience in itself... but atleast I was no longer screaming at the top of my lungs. It took me awhile to get the pushing stage, so I napped. I awoke to them asking me if I wanted to push, and so I shrugged and did so. When the delivery actually began, I could feel my legs and toes. I could move. I could feel some of the contraction. I liked it this way and I'm so happy I wasn't paralyzed for it. But before I even began, there was another problem -- my 'DELIVERY IN PROGRESS' sign wouldn't light up. As I am superstitious sometimes, this really scared me. Eventually I began pushing and it really wasn't that bad.

My mom and Tyler's mom were present for the labor and birth. At first, I only wanted Tyler and I there, but in the end..I'm very thankful that they were both present. My mom even recorded the birth! I didn't even want that if it was going to be from the waist down, but now that I can watch the tape and see what everyone else saw, I'm so grateful for it. So anyways, it took me an hour to push Stella out. It hurt, I 'aint gonna lie...but boy was it worth it. They laid her on my belly at 7:39 PM and I sobbed like the biggest freaking baby in the world. Tyler even silently cried. He didn't even want to cut the cord. He was afraid of the blood and that he would get sick. He questioned his ability to help me. But what do you know? We all came through. He held my leg the entire time and helped me push. He watched at his daughter was born and didn't turn away once. He cut the cord without second thought. He did so well and I'm so proud of him. :)

Next, they weighed her and everything. What a big girl she was/is!! She weighed in at a hefty 9 pounds 5.6 ounces. 20 inches long. Head FULL of hair. It's only been seen on one other baby, and that was baby Christabell. Everyone is astounded at the sheer amount and thickness of her beautiful, dark hair. There was nothing wrong with her. The only issue was found when they broke my water, and that was that there was meconium in it. That was a bad sign, but it wasn't enough to cause them any concern. Other than that, there were no issues what so ever.

In the end, I was left with a second degree laceration which resulted in the stitching of my most beloved area. They attempted to shoot me with some numbing agent before proceeding, but it didn't work and I felt most of it. It really hurt bad. It felt like I was having my vag pierced again, over and over. ERG. So I thought that'd be the end of the pain, right? The contractions. The pushing. The stitches. Oh, no, no no! Let's push our fists down into your sensitive belly to force out some blood clots so you don't hemorrhage and die. THANKS to every pregnant person and ever book I've ever read on pregnancy for not telling me about this painful procedure. Luckily, they only did it on about 4 other occasions, so NO BIG DEAL. >=[

I hate hospitals and the stay was nothing great, but it was sort of nice when everything settled down and Tyler and I were able to bond with our baby. At one point, they took her away so we could sleep..and that broke our hearts. They said they'd return her in 2 hours but after like 25 minutes we decided to go to the nursery to get her. What do you know? After I told them not to give her a pacifier due to us trying to learn how to breastfeed, they stuff one in there to shut her up. NICE. But looking around at the other babies, our baby is a fucking bruiser. She's huge! The other babies were like 6 pounds. WOW. And those nurses are cunts..except for the one young nurse, Jaime. They did so much to piss us off. The one bitch brought our baby into our room at like 4 am and goes "You two need to get up. You said you fed her but we just don't think so" because she was crying and whatnot. I did feed her, it's just she was complaining and would only take the pacifier if you held your finger in the little hole, which they just did not have time for. So I hardly slept in the hospital.

My baby is so precious. Her head was all gross and stretched out from birth, but it went back to normal within like 3 hours. She's just so damn cute in every way. I think I've spoiled her though. She won't sleep anywhere but with me and Tyler. I was all against sleeping in bed with her, but I seriously can't get her to sleep anywhere else! I guess she just likes to warmth and closeness. Breastfeeding is a bitch, man. I didn't think it would hurt this bad or be this big of a deal to me. My boobs are the largest they will ever be. They hurt so bad and they leak even when I'm just sitting around. They're sore as hell from her and erg. IDK. I'm going to try to stick with it, but if all else fails I may just pump my milk into bottles and feed her that way. Feedings in the middle of the night suck, and would be so much easier if she'd just take a bottle or something. I'll stick with what I'm doing though. I must not be very good at burping though, as she has the hiccups constantly. It hurts me cause I feel like it's my fault and I feel bad for her. We have a doctors appointment today, though and so I'll ask what I can do for her. :(

Diapers aren't so bad, either. She even poops alot. I think it's cute. She makes awesome little sounds. She snorts like a pig and makes things really strange sound with her mouth when she yawns. It's so cute, haha. I love her. And she has some awesome neck muscles. She can hold her head up for a long time and look around, which I've read isn't supposed to happen until like 2 months or something. She even smiles sometimes, and not just in her sleep. Goddddd. I love her. =)

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