deanne2005's children

deanne2005
	Age: 21 Country: Cambridge Province/region: England City: Cambridgeshire Partner: Jamie Children: Yes, 3 Pregnant: Please select Occupation: Full Time mum
	Online: More than 3 months ago Last updated: 644 days ago. Member since: 1454 days
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Members

Benjamin JR Kent Benstead
Sex: boy
Born: 25 April, 2010
Age: 1 years & 296 days
Birthday in: 69 days
Starsign: Taurus
Development: See the 21 months page.
Biggest achievement so far:
-

Birth details

Original due date: May 21 2010
Type of delivery: Vaginal (without pain relief)
Duration of labor: 7hr 04min
Weight @ birth: 4lb 12oz
Length @ birth:

Benjamin-JR-Kent-Benstead`s birthstory

Benjamin Was born early as i was admitted to hospital on the 20 April for pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure was 160/120 and Benjamin was becoming distressed. I was giving the prostate gel at 7pm on saturday 24th April i was left on the baby monitor all night, just to make sure baby was not distressed to much. They woke me up at 6am on Sunday 25th April to check if i was dilating. By this time i was knackered by hardly even being able to sleep with the monitor. The midwife was shocked and said she could brake my waters even though they said it was very unlikely i would have a natural labour. My waters where broke and contrations came but not very strong. They did not want me to be in labour for a long period of time so put me on a hormone drip to get me started about 10:30am. I rang my partner to inform him we was having a baby today. :D. Time went by and it was about 1pm and contrations where very strong i felt like i was coping very well this was so much easier than my first labour. My midwife said she needed to check how many centimeteres i was dilated and said i was only 5. I was left another half hour and was told Benjamin heart rate was very bad and they was going to get another man to come check on my progress and than maybe give me a C-section. The consultant laid me on the bed and told me i was only 4 or even 5 centimeteres dilated and things where not going very fast and was going to go and get things ready for a c-section. AT this point i was screaming and rolled onto my side with my body wrapped around my partner, screaming for him to hold my leg in the air shouting `baby is coming` at this point both my parther and midwife was saying `breathe through your contration Deanne the baby is not coming yet you only half way` By this time the baby head had crowned and he appeared on the bed. MY midwife was running around the room in shock...

Destiny
Sex: girl
Born: 21 January, 2005
Age: 7 years & 27 days
Birthday in: 338 days
Starsign: Aquarius
Development: See the 32 months page.
Biggest achievement so far:
-

Destiny was born on 21st January 2005 at around 8.00am. When she was born she was 13 weeks 6 days, i miscarried her. She was small enough to fit inside the palm of your hand.

Brandon Jamie Mark Benstead
Sex: boy
Born: 03 September, 2008
Age: 3 years & 166 days
Birthday in: 199 days
Starsign: Virgo
Development: See the 32 months page.
Biggest achievement so far:
-

Birth details

Original due date: 27 August 2008
Type of delivery: Vaginal (without pain relief)
Duration of labor: 18 hour 57 minutes
Weight @ birth: 6lb 7oz
Length @ birth:

Brandon-Jamie-Mark-Benstead`s birthstory

I had gone to hospital on the 2nd September as Brandon had not moved all day. I was admitted around 7.00pm and was stuck on a monitor to check he was ok. Brandon was perfectly fine and they sent me home.

I arrived home at 10.00pm and got into bed to go to sleep. At around 12.30pm i felt these small pops that felt rather odd, i sat up and felt even more pops, i then stood up and said to mym partner `Jamie can you get me a towel please, my waters just broke` my partner (Jamie) come over and gave me such a big cuddle and had a huge smile on his face as he knew his son was on the way.

It was a very long process from there, i went to the hospital and they said to go home, i went home and went to my mothers house and Jamie and i slept on my mum sofa, i could not sleep as the pain was unbearable and i was leaning over my mum`s coffee table. It got to 6.30 am and i said to Jamie i need to go back to hospital. When i got to hospital they said i had not reached established labour yet, but how could they know without dont an examination.

I then went home again and stayed at my mum house till 12.00pm by this point my legs had started to turn to jelly and i started saying `i need GAS AND AIR`. Jamie took me back to the hospital were i had an examination and was told i was 6 Centimeteres dilated. I got to 7 centimeteres and the pain was extrushiating. I had gas and air and a TENS machine on my back. I got stuck at 7 Centimeteres dilated and stayed this way till around 5.00pm they said they would have to use some tool to break my waters. This was the most painfullest thing of my life. The tears poured out my eyes as i could not lay down with each contraction they hurt to much laying down. I cried and turned to my partner and said `I cannot do this, i too tired Jamie, please make it stop` the tears continued to run down my face and Jamie cuddled me and started to cry with me as he could not bare to see me in this much pain.

The midwife`s knew i could not cope laying down so they asked if i wanted to get into the pool so i agreed. It was very nice and warm and the pain was not as bad but still i cried and cried, i became so exhausted as i was unwell myself and had not slept properly in 2 days. They gave me lots and lots of sugary water drinks to drink to help boost me up and i had to drink a huge bottle of Lucozade too. Once i had go to the part were i started pushing it took less than 1 hour to push him out. I was sitting on a stool whilst in the bath which was very comfortable.

I pushed and pushed and pushed whilst my partner watched with a smile knowing his son was on the way, i stopped screaming as i just had this strength and power to push my hardest and get our son out. His head started to come through and this stung like anything, they said stop pushing and pant very fast, i did this and my partner was looking at the mirror in the water to see as our son was coming out. I then pushed two more further times and my baby popped out.

They handed him to me from the water and the midwifes started to rub him and i was patting him and rubbing him at the same time to get him to breath. Took his time as he is a lazy baby and once he did there was a sigh of relief that he was ok. It was so hard to hold him as he was all wet and slidy against my wet body.

Once they had taken and cleaned and wrapped him up, Jamie held him close to his body. Once all the midwifes had left to leave me and Jamie to bond with our baby, tears run down Jamies face these were happy tears. I was overwhelmed with everything all my body was bruised and sore from using all the muscles in my body.

This baby is a very big gift for me and my partner, i thought this day would never come after losing our gorgeous baby girl Destiny.

After 18 hours of being born brandon was taken to Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU). We was told he had very high Jaundice and an infection somewhere in his body. He was stuck under bililights with both bulbs on, he also had photosynthisis underneath him to help his Jaundice. He had the most cutest pair of goggles over his eyes and very big dummy hanging out his mouth. We found out he had a infection that makes the skin inflammed they were not sure what part of his body it was on but they would keep him on antibiotics for 5 days. We then found out he had low sodium in his body and he was stuck on a strick feeding routine and 2 days before we went home we found out Brandon has 2 heart murmurs. Once is which 90% of all babys have at birth and the other is less common but still common. He has a check up when he 3 months old to see whether or not it has closed.

Brandon and i spent 6 days in hospital. He spent a total of 3 days in SCBU and 3 days beside me on Sara Ward.

MY PREGNANCY DIARY:-

This is my second pregnancy. Me and my partner are over the moon.

I would love to call this baby boy either
'Theo'
'Brandon'
or
'Tyler'

FEBRUARY

My story is that i meet my partner back when i was 14 years old and we have been together ever since. We went to the same nursery school and primary school and we hated eachother so much back then. It was not till we went to secondary school that we started to like eachother and fell in-love.

I have been pregnant once before with a gorgeous baby girl named 'Destiny' i was young when we found out i was pregnant with her i was only 15. We did decide to keep her as she was precious to us. I only found out i was pregnant at 12 weeks as i carried on having periods during my pregnancy, complications set in and i suffered a miscarriage 9 days later. This was hard for me and my partner to cope with, but Destiny brought us even closer together and taught us how much we loved each other and that we did want to spend the rest of our lives together and one day get married and have children of our own. Even though we are having our little baby boy Destiny will be in our hearts forever, we will never forget our first baby and we will always love her no matter what.

We talked about starting a family for a few months before christmas 2007 and then come to the decision of trying for a family. The funniest of it all was within the first month of trying i fell pregnant and found out Christmas Day that i was pregnant. We told my parents straight away and my parents are very excited to meet their first grandchild.

I had my first scan on February 18th at 8.00 am . We had such great fun seeing our baby for the first time knowing he/she is very healthy and growing well.

MARCH

I am now 15 weeks into my pregnany and i have really started to show. When i look down at my tummy all i think is that i am bloated and ate to much. After getting my partner to take a photo i realised i do have a cute little baby in my tummy starting to show.

This is my 17 week 2 days. I really have started to get bigger and its now got to the point where my lovely clothes dont fit over my tummy. :( I hate it to sort of especially seems as i cannot afford new clothes at the moment so i have to suffer with irritation and things. But my baby is great pregnancy is great. Got my gorgeous pram already which parents brought for us. It is chocolate 3 in 1 pram with deep red small interior bits.

I felt my baby kick for the first time today which is:

25/03/2008

How great! It felt like bubblie feelings but more stronger so i placed my hand on my tummy and i could feel these raised pressured kicks sort of feelings. It was wonderful. My partner missed it but stood there with his hand on my tummy for 20 minutes hoping for it to kick again.

APRIL

Cannot wait for tommorow 22 April i get to find out the sex of our gorgeous baby. Everyone thinks i am having a little boy but my boyfriend decided he would be different and said a little girl. I just cannot wait for 3pm to get here. I also get to celebrate this special occassion with my bestfriend and have a nice dinner :D.

22/04/2008

Went for my scan today and everything went well. I am under this research thing called POPS which is for firstime mums. They take blood and do more detailed scans to help mums that cannot have babies. Its to find out why parents cannot have babies.

Well everything was good. Heart was healthy and blood flow to baby was perfect and my baby has no problems or abnormalities at all. My mum came to the scan and her jaw was nearly on the floor, as she was so happy to see her first grandchild. My partner sat there next to me clentching hold of my hand he just had the most sweetest and biggest smile i have ever seen. He got what he mainly wanted, but most of all he was happy that our baby is healthy.

WE ARE HAVING A BOY!

4/05/2008

Well everything is going fab! I brought his first new bumper set for his bed this week. Its all blue with little cars and the expression of the bumper set is 'Beep Beep' i think it is ADORABLE! My partner is so over the moon and he cannot wait for him to be here. I think i am most excited when we get our flat/house and be able to get everything ready for when he arrives in our hands. Things have been very stressful living in his parents flat there are 2 bedroom and there are 5 of us living here. Its just way to small, it is very over-populated by boys and men i the only girl here, so cannot wait till we get our own place. HORRAY!

09/05/08
24 weeks 2 days

I am loving being pregnant with this little baby boy. There are down-sides to it though that i have been having a lot of pain in my right hip and feeling like a beached whale most of the time. I cannot wait for him to get here. Me and my partner booked our little 4 day holiday near the beach so that we can relax before the baby gets here in August.

20/05/2008
26 Weeks Today

I am totally excited about the baby coming. I have discovered that my baby likes beat boxing music maybe because of the base rhythm to it. He kicks madly and his daddy was so fasinated staring at my tummy going all over the place. Things are so good, except over past 2 days i have just been so tired wanting to sleep and having a headache. I went to college yesterday and after only being there 1 hour i passed out in the girls toilets and was sent home. I decided that maybe i have been pushing myself too hard with college and preparing for my holiday. Just keeping my fluids up to stop myself getting dehydrated.

27/05/2008
26 Weeks 6 Days

Gettting closer and closer to our baby boy arrriving into this world. I am afraid that i wont be able to give him everything in life to start off with, but i know if i concentrate on course as i nearly at the end of it i know i can get a good qualification and a better job to give him what he needs. My partner got a job as a caretaker and i am so proud of him as his words where "i want to be able to support my growing family" my heart mealted when he said this to me. Not long now till i go away on holiday i think about 5 more days and we get to go.. I have not packed the bag yet as i waiting to find out the weather and know what is best to pack. Whether i need sun cream and dresses or i need jumpers, jeans and Umbrella's. The baby is growing so much i cannot see my feet anymore they have vanished and my poor belly button and ribs hurt... I feel him kick so often and i love it when he is kicking away. Still not decided what to call our baby boy yet so i will just stick to Baby Benstead... Thats my partners surname.....

5/06/2008
28 Weeks 1 Day

Well i went on Holiday on Monday and it was horrible. I could not do anything there and the weather just did not hold up sunny there was a wet mist around and it was horrible. The apartment i stayed in felt like damp all the time and it gave a sharp pain in my upper chest and lungs. We was ment to stay till Friday but come home Wednesday afternoon. At least we experienced what it like to stay at Pontins in Yarmouth (Hemsby). This pregnancy is going well and i feel HUGE at some points were i feel like i going to POP... TEHE. My partner has been great and brought me a gorgeous bunch of flowers just to say that hes proud of how well i am doing in this pregnancy. HOW SWEET IS THAT!!!!

10/06/2008
28 Weeks 6 Days

Wow i had the most amazing day. I got to see the baby today as i went for a scan. It was so great seeing him. He has grown so much and looks so much like his daddy. It was great seeing him and how big he has got, he would not sit still though as the nurse wanted to see the blood flow threw his umbilical cord and well he would not sit still and we were all laughing. He squirmed around and everything. We even got the most cutest picture with his mouth wide open with a smile across his face. She even double checked to make sure he was still a BOY well yep he defently is, they are a big pair of ......! LOL.

21/06/2008
30 Weeks 4 Days

I just cannot believe how time fly's bye its just unbelivable. I have only got about 10 more weeks to go and our little baby boy will be born. He is a miracle and i cannot wait to meet him, makes me all teary eyed just thinking about it all. I now have nothing to do with myself i have offically finished my 2 year course at College and i find out my results end of June i think. My boyfriend goes to work during the day and i just got nothing to do with myself, i get so bored, its not like i can do loads of spring cleaning as i just cannot move as well anymore lol. We still have not go anywhere to live and its starting to really upset me and depress me. I want to get all the nursery done and do my house up ready for when our little boy arrives and comes home for the first time. I dunno!!!! I feel like a beached whale and i feel i am just ready to give birth now. He is getting so heavy, and my bump has slightly dropped so maybe he will arrive in he next 4 weeks!!! I hope he stays in there atleast till 34 weeks.

04/07/2008
32 Weeks 2 Days

So lately everything has been a bit annoying. I got these horrible stretch marks that are just unbelivably itchy and sore and had to go doctors to get some medication for it. I tried everything you could possibly think of, before it just got so annoying i opted for doctors. I have been feeling very low recently over the past week. I get this momments were i feel very sad and as if no-one loves me, even though i have a lovely and helpful partner and a lovely and helpful family supporting us. I still not got a house to live in.

08/07/2008
33 Weeks

I feel so sad and feel distressed. I must be crying atleast 2 - 3 times a day and i feel like everything is becoming emotionally hard for me to cope with. My partner has got a Viral infection and Bacterial infection in his throat and they think he might have glandular fever as he has been ill for 3 weeks now. I like to take care of him when he is ill and make him better as much as i possibly can, but its just gone on too long and its becoming hard for me to cope with. I feel distressed myself with a rash on my tummy that keeps me up at night and i keep going to toilet 3 - 4 times a night to rub on some cream the doctor gave me. The worst of it all is that it has started to go down my legs LIKE THE STRETCH MARKS AINT ANNOYING ANOTHER, BUT i have to get this rash that is driving me potty, my clothes feel as if i have sand paper rubbing on me, i cannot afford to buy anymore clothes for this bump as i still got to save for our flat/house that we still have not got. I cannot cope anymore i feel like RIPPING my hair out and screaming down this poxie house. There are 4 boys and me thats 5 people in this maissonnette and there are only 2 bedrooms. Its hard enough being pregnant but for the fact that none of these men have taken into consideration i cannot get around as easily and they still swear their heads off in this house and drive me mad WHY can't they just be normal for one day WHY do they have to argue all the time.

Its all just adding up on my plate becoming more hard to cope with, at first i can just deal with it but its been long enough that i cannot bottle up my fears of feeling things are not going to go well. I can't cope with feeling like this, i dont want my partner to see me cry as i feel as if i am weak and i cannot do this. I want this cute little baby boy inside me but i am hating everything that comes with it. I have no place to call my own home, i cannot decorate the nursery or get my house ready for they baby's arrival. I get cronic pain in my hip and get stuck when i lye down and i got this rash and all these stretch marks and pain in my back, hurting ankles and then i cannot just deal with the things that are wrong with me but i have to try help my partner get better as i need him to be well for when this baby arrives! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH its just all too much for me!!!!!!!

10/07/2008
33 Weeks 1 day

I just do not know how i am coping with this. I do so hope this little baby is worth everything. This rash that i have is absolutly doing my head in, i went back to doctors and they said "very inflammed and sore" they gave me some antibitotics that have a small dosage of steroid in them. The only thing is, they only gave me two tubes and for how much area i have to cover its not even going to get me past the weekend. The rash is on my stomach, hips, thigh, inner thigh, behind my upper leg/bum and behind my knee. It has this stinging sensation to it that evovles into itching. Once i even touch it, it goes mad! I cannot cope with it, i have not slept properly in 3 nights the first night i got up twice to rub cream into it, second night i slept maximum of 4 hours and well tonight i did not sleep at all, i layed there in bed staring at the TV or listening to my partner snoring to high heaven next to me due to his viral infection and it affecting his throat.

The crying is doing my head in i know that my hormones are everywhere but this is just taking the p***. I dont think i have cried so much in the past week. There is a problem to having to rub this cream in, i cannot see or reach all the places i need to, so i have to rely on my partner to help me, i cannot wake him up at 3.00am in the morning to rub cream in considering he has got a viral infection himself that takes anywhere from 30 - 50 days to go by what the doctor said to us. So i have to suffer during the night so that my partner can sleep and get better and put up with the snoring that is so loud i feel like suffocating him with a pillow right now. F*** sake who needs to snore that loud how can anyone snore that F****** loud!!!!! He keeps saying "sorry" how can i be angry with him? Its not his fault that he is unwell whilst i am going through this! I just wish it was all a bit more smooth running and their was no rash and my partner did not have glandular fever. He moans at me for not sleeping, why don't he try and sleep with legs that are itching like mad, feel like they are boiling hot and if the bed sheets touch your legs it feels like sand paper, he cannot bully me into sleeping, if you cannot relax YOU cannot relax is it that hard to understand.

It is really making me worry about our unborn baby as i not sleeping and not got a big appatite and not drinking as much as i normally should. I usually drink anywhere from 6-7 pint glasses of squash a day well in the past 4 days i have drunk maybe 2 - 3 pint glasses of squash. I know i should drink and eat a bit more, but i just cannot be bothered being so tired and feeling very low makes me think "whats the point?" even though there is a point, i Carrying a baby that needs to be healthy when he is born. I do hope my partner is better before this baby is born, i need his support and help and i feel as if i cannot do this alone. Its probably seems as if i am going on a bit, but when you have so many feelings and emotions i feel as if my fingers cannot leave the keys and it has to come off my chest one way or another.

My partner is asleep in the background its now 6.42 am and he is so fast asleep i am so Jealous. I want to climb in bed and snuggle up in the duvet and fall fast asleep and dream about wonderful things. But no, if i lay in bed i have to lay with a blanket on the top half of my body no lower than above my tummy and then have my tummy and legs out, i cannot wear trousers and only restricted to knickers so i freeze my asse off when i sleep. Lucky B****** even though he is unwell he can somehow sleep like a rock still!!!!!!

Yep i still feel like ripping my hair out my head and screaming down this horrible house. I want my own house, so that i can walk around in my underwear feeling comfortable and helping his rash get better. I spent all day yesterday inside my bedroom, you know how annoying it was, my partner went to Tesco at a point and said he didnt think it best i went with him and then later that day he went to Asda and still i was not aloud to go as he thought it was best. I even ate my dinner up here in the bedroom infront of the TV. I felt so alone yesterday, my partner said he could not sit up here all day, How the hell does he think i feel. I could not go downstairs as i could not put on any clothes over my legs that would irritate so i was stuck to the bedroom and making the occassional dash to the toilet hoping no-one would see my legs and bum. What is there that i can do, no-one is going to read this so i have written a whole entire essay for no reason to the fact that i will not get any moral support or comfort from others.

I know there are people out that that cannot have babies and try for years and years and probably think i am so kind of spoilt B**** well i know i am acting as if i am, but i am grateful for this baby inside my tummy and even though i am moaning so much i would not trade him in for the world. What happens if i decided not to keep him and then find out i would never be able to have children, i would regret it for the rest of my life that i had the opportunity to have a baby and i threw it away as if it was nothing. So this baby is staying and i will spoil him rotten, i know that when he arrives he was worth all the hassle of every sleepless nights and many more to come and pain and stress.

13/072008
33 Weeks 5 days

ARGH can't he just come out now? I have had enough 110% had enough. All this crap from friends and family saying rest while you can as you cannot when the baby arrives, well guess what I CANT rest. Its 3 am nd i woke up in a dreadful frenzy itching and scratching my legs. I did not realise i was scratching at first not until it started to sting a little from scratching so much. Its driving me utterly and completely mad. There has to be someting that is going to work. I read somewhere about taking Dandelion caplutes 6 times a day i thought why not give that a go, do you think my partner could get any? NO! SO i got the drink instead and i am hoping for some results in the next 1 - 2 days and if there no result i going to FLIP, as what was the point drinking the vile stuff if it not going to work.

They just dont understand, sometimes i think they think im being a drama queen or asking for atttention, but i am not... I went 2 days without any proper sleep and had 4 hours maximum and this was by sleeping around 7 am to 11 am not by sleeping during the night. I then went 1 night not sleeping at all and this made me run down and ill and i felt as if i could not cope, THEN i thought i hit a miracle i took an antihistamin and rubbed lots of creams in and i think it helped, I fell asleep after 4 days of really bad sleep i did it! Did i get a result like that again no, just because i cannot sleep i cryed on the way home from my mum house crying as i did not want it to be night time already as i knew what was to come:-

Not sleeping
Itching
Hotness
staring at the TV all hours of the night
Uncomfortable
Pulling my hair out nearly

I just cannot cope anymore its SPREDING, SPREDING, SPREDING AND SPREDING. Causing ITCHING, ITCHING, ITCHING AND MORE ITCHING making NO SLEEP, NO SLEEP, AND EVEN MORE STUPID NO SLEEP!!!!!

Everyone says, you will be better tonight dont worry! I believe them all the time but every night its exactly the same, i cannot sleep.

06/08/2008
37 weeks 1 day

WOW cannot believe it. I got about 2-3 weeks to go before this baby arrives. That is if he arrives by his due date and be's a good boy instead of a naughty one and goes overdue.

Everything has been a bit better recently. I have still got my PEOP but i can say it is not as bad as what it was before i can sleep but do wake up feeling a bit itchy and uncomfortable but still not bad enough to stop me sleeping all together.

I am happy that i might be getting a house soon, i got everything ready for our house sofas, fridge/freezer, cooker, microwave, washing maching, tumble dryer bed, baby's solid pine cot, babie's pine changing unit and the normal things like TV's and stuff.

I have had some great support from my parents during all of this pregnancy and without them i dont think me and my partner would cope aswell with everything on our plates. My mum and dad have been there mentally and physically for me. Thank you so much!!!!.

12/08/2008
38 Weeks

Time is going so slow at the moment at first it was going pretty fast and i was excited it was flying by. I can feel baby is doing very well as he is always active and kicking me in the ribs when i sitting down. I got a midwife appointment today with a new lady, bit late to have a different midwife but my midwife went on holiday and i just cannot seem to get along with her very well.

I have been having alot of Braxton Hick Contractions recently, which are alot stronger than they used to be, some days i think baby is getting real close to making his entrance as i get strong period like pains aswell. But nope he is still well and truly tucked up in my tummy. These Braxton Hicks are starting to annoy me slightly especially when i out and about. They make my tummy go SSOO stiff that i cannot move i have to wait a few minutes on one spot for them to go away. I defently thought he was arriving last week as i had strong Pains in my tummy and i had some watery stuff come out of me that come through my trousers slightly but that was it, i got nothing else all day! Oh well i guess i should be patient, but i cannot as there no more room for his big bum to move around in.

My housing situaion is still were it was, me and my partner still have no place to call our own and bring our baby home to at the end. THe people that deal with this stuff still seem to FOB us off and its driving me potty, i cannot get that nice nursery ready like everyone else has done i cannot put cot together or even decorate my living room or kitchen or anything. I want to get my nesting sensations over and done with but at this rate i dont think i will be able to. I know that if the baby does arrive my mum said me and my partner and baby can stay at her house for a while as there not enough room at my partners dad's house for a baby. So i know i got somewhere to stay for a few weeks after our little baby boy arrives.

14/08/2008

38 Weeks 2 Days

Well my pregnancy is going ok. I have decided that i do not want him to arrive into the world just yet as we still do not havea home to call our own. I went down to the people that sort out our housing situation and they offered me and my partner Temporary Accomadation. Ok i was very unhappy and i was shocked but if that is all that they had then fine. Me and my partner went down to go and see it that evening before our viewing and it was horrible. I felt like crying it was that horrible, the flat was 3 flights of stairs up, there was a chip shop underneath our flat and the chip shop extracta fan come up across to were our bathroom window will be. It stunk to high heaven. There were benches with teenagers drinking and smoking at. The bins round the back to our flat were all burnt out and it was all trashy and horrible. There was a petrol station across the road and a kebab van on our sidewalk. I looked at my partner and said "lets go" i nearly broke out into tears. I would rather stay at my parents house than go somewhere like that. I glad my parents are here to support me and my partner as if they were not i dont think i or we could cope with any of this.

Not long now till he makes his entrance into the world. He is a very active baby all the time. I did go to see my midwife the other day and she said his head is VERY low down inbetween my pelvis. I not sure what that means but hopefully it means hes coming soon. Even though i dont want him to arrive just yet! His heartbeat was great very health at 132 BPM which is good she said. I missed my midwife appointment the 2 weeks before that the home visit one and i got moaned at as this was when i was ment to go over my birthing plan. I have not done my birthing plan yet and in some strange way i feel very reluctant to do it, as if i want it to all be quiet spontanious.

I am happy with my partner as he has been trying so hard at work to bring in some money being a cute caretaker. He is thinking of going to do an apprentiship at our nearby college which means he will bring in less money but in the future he will bring in more as he gained a new qualification. He doing something in IT and i cant be more proud of him recently. He has tried so hard to help me through all this pregnancy and support me through the rough times we have had in our relationship. Being together 4 years and 2 months is well worth every moment. He makes my life complete, him and this baby make my life worth while. I love knowing the person i love and addore and trust with all my life is having a baby with me. He could of had any girl he wanted but he chose ME!!!

15/08/2008

38 Weeks 3 Days

I am loving being pregnant but emotions do tend to get the better of me at some points. This baby boy is very special to me but i am finding it very hard to cope with being pregnant and dealing with all these housing and claiming certain benefits. I dont want to seem like i hate being pregnant and i never want this little baby boy. Because i do, i do want him very much i could not be happier being pregnant with him. I will be happier when he is no longer inside and is actually in the world rather than being in my tum tum. I only got 1 week 5 days left until this baby boy hopefully makes his entrance into the world. I cannot believe he has made it this far staying inside me. There is no room for him in my tummy anymore so i very suprised that he has wanted to stay inside mummy's tummy. Everyone is getting very inpatient to meet him, they all think i being greedy and keeping him to myself. Which is a joke but i know he is happy inside mummy's tummy growing away and eating what i am eating (sweets and curries).

21/08/2008

39 Weeks 1 day

Wow look how time has flown by, cannot believe the baby is only 6 days away from being born i am so excited to meet him. So is my partner he keeps wiggling my tummy and saying "You come out this way"! tehe its so funny hes getting so impatient and really wants him to be here already. Me and my partner still have no home to call our own but with such supportive parents on hand we are not homeless. I just hope that not long after the baby is born we will actually have somewhere to call our own.

Baby is so active recently he keeps kicking my ribs and squirming around in my tummy. I keep feeling his little bum stick out of my tummy and feeling the heels of his feet. He is going to be gorgeous and i am getting impatient waiting around for him.

24/08/2008

39 Weeks 5 days

Cannot believe he has decided to stay in my tummy this long. Everybody thought he would make an early entrance, but obviously he is to comfy in my tummy to want to come out!

Everything is going great, Jamie and i cleaned up the corner of our bedroom and got it all ready for the babies arrival. We left it late but we did not have everything to get it ready, there are still things missing but these things are just to make it cute baby like. I am missing a Car rug that is to go on the floor and maybe a picture of too to hide the fact that the wall needs re-painting. It just got grey marks on it from not being decorated in a while but nothing that makes it unsafe or real horrible looking. There is a small hole in he wall were something got dropped so i hope to stick a photo or something over that. I am loving every moment of this, knowing that he is coming so shortly. I am happy and over-joyed with it all. I cannot wait to give birth to him now its just round the corner.

It feels like only yesterday me doing a pregnancy test. It was chrismas day and we come home from being at my parents house all day. I realised that my period was late and noticed my parents kept saying something looked different about me. So whilst Jamie was in kitchen downstairs i popped upstairs and did the test in the bathroom, i dont think i have ever seen such clear blue lines, there were these perfect 2 lines crossing over the pregnancy test. I felt scared in a good way and excited altogether. I took the pregnancy test downstairs and kept it hidden as i did not want Jamie's family knowing just yet. I went into the kitchen and shut the door and said to jamie "Jamie i have something to show you!" i showed him the pregnancy test and we both just smiled at eachother. He told me later on that evening that he already knew i was pregnant before i even realised. Knowing how far this pregnancy has come and that its only days away from our first son being born its just unbelivable. Its a miracle, our baby is a gift, he is going to help us create our own lives with eachother, starting our own family could not be any more exciting!!!!

26/08/2008

39 Weeks 6 Days

Well tommorow is the day our baby is ment to be coming out, but i have a few doubts in my head that he actually will be coming out then.

Me and my partner went to see my midwife today to see how baby is doing. His heart rate was extremely good and my blood pressure was 120/80 which is quiet good apparently. He is 4/5 engaged into my pelvic area but the last time we went to see my midwife his head was fully engaged. He has decided to come out a bit, which i feel is a sign he not coming soon. He is due tommorow and i just dont think he is going to come anytime soon.

I have a membrane sweep and check up on the 30/08/2008 at my mum's house. She is then also going to book me in to have an induction that is if he dont come before Saturday. I hope he comes soon as i getting impatient waiting around for him. I have this cute baby corner waiting for him, i want to hold him and see who he looks like and stare into his adorable baby eyes and think hes all ours and bundle of joy was worth every pain and every horrible itch/scratch that i had.

I dont feel to happy apparently its quiet normal when you are heavily pregnant. I feel so horrible i got my Ben and Jerrys ice cream waiting in the freezer and i got a big fat meaty cheesy pizza waiting to be cooked soon.

28/08/2008

40 Weeks 1 Day

So no sign of my baby arriving any time soon. I defently think he is just way to comfortable to want to come out. I have been hoping he will arrive soon but i just dont think he will come when i want him to come. I just hope he comes before my midwife comes round Saturday.

I have been quiet sad today as my precious cat Smokey fell ill. She had a horrible weaping eye and i just thought it was an infection but my parents took her to the vets and found out she has a cyst behind her eye or in her mouth that pushed her eye slightly foward and caused her not to be able to eat or drink anything for 24 hours. I am so worried about her, not having her in the house makes me even more sadder. There is even more problems because of the treatment she has required whilst in the vets she is going to cost me �260 upwards i glad that my parents said they would pay half.

40 Weeks 2 Days

29/08/2008

NO baby still!!!!!

Oh well maybe he just is not ready to come out. I went shopping with my nanna, grandad, mum and brother yesterday and my nan spoilt her great grandson she brought him a real fancy �110 baby monitor that has a sensor mat that i put under his mattress and things. She also brought a beach UV play mat that has a shelter over it as i hope to gon holiday the 15 September so would be nice to put him under it on the beach out of the sun. She also brought him his first huge brown teddy bear that she got half price when spending over �20 in Mothercare so that was really nice. Just waiting for the baby now. He is ment to be here already but i guess he just dont want to come out.

I am excited as i got my midwife coming to see me at my mum house and she will do a membrane sweep which is optional but i chose to have it done as hopefully it will ge things moving along. It will take up to 48 hours if anything is going to happen after having it, i would like to think i could be having him Sunday or Monday. Its my brothers birthday Tuesday so i hope he decides to come before that or after my brothers birthday, would like my baby to have a unique birthday in the family and my brother said he dont want to share his birthday (made me giggle).

1/09/2008

40 Weeks 6 Days

WOW no baby still. I had my midwife come round on Saturday and she did a Membrane Sweep, it was uncomfortable and made me feel like i needed a wee but other than that i did not feel to bothered about it all. I hoped something was going to happen after as i had very strong period braxton hicks but its not Monday and there is still no sign of baby arriving.
I am very confused about all this pregnancy, i do not understand why he does not want to come out! I even was told on Saturday to make Passionate with my partner so i did and that did nothing too. OH well, i know if he dont come i got a date that i will be being induced on. I am booked into Lady Mary Anex Ward on Saturday 6 September i ring at 3pm to see how busy they are and when they would like me mostly to come in. The latest apparently i will be induced is around 5 - 6 pm so i cannot wait 5 more days to go before i go into hospital, maybe 6 days till we finally meet our little man.

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