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stella vera Sex: girl Born: 18 September, 2009 Age: 2 years & 150 days Birthday in: 215 days Starsign: Virgo Development: See the 29 months page. Biggest achievement so far: -

Birth details

Original due date: september 25, 2009
Type of delivery: Vaginal (without pain relief)
Duration of labor: 3 hrs
Weight @ birth: 8 lbs 14 oz
Length @ birth: 21 inches

stella-vera`s birthstory

On Thursday Lincoln and I worked at the store, it was his first birthday. I had a lot of pressure all day long but didn’t do much, just played with him since it was his birthday. We went for a walk to his drs appt and after that I started feeling even more pressure. Just felt really tired, tons of pelvic pressure and worn out.

That night everyone came over for Lincoln’s birthday party, we had dinner and cake and presents and after Lincoln went to bed we sat out back on the porch eating dinner and talking with mom, dad, Andy, and Kirsten. Oddly enough we had chx kabobs (same thing we ate at my dad’s birthday dinner the year before-my water broke the night of his birthday party). We went to bed, I think I woke up once for Lincoln around midnight or one and thought then, “guess no baby tonight.” I always thought that if it was going to happen at night it would have happened by then. Then I kept having these dreams that Brian Stigler was kicking me in the back, it was a weird dream because I don’t really know Brian (rachel’s husband) that well so it odd. But I did talk to her that day and Brian was in the car so I think that was how my mind connected it. Anyway, in my dream he was kicking me and when I woke up the pain in my back from the dream was still real. It was about 3:45 almost 4:00 in the morning. The pain went away and I went back to sleep, and back to the dream of Brian kicking me in the back, I woke up again and it was the same pain, and about twenty minutes later. So at this point I thought, this is strange. I didn’t fall back asleep, I got up and went to the bathroom and sure enough 20 min later more pains, this time wrapping around to the front. I got up and went to start timing them, now they were coming about every ten minutes and getting a little stronger. It was around 5:30. I text Kirsten and told her to not go to work because I was having contractions but didn’t know if they were real or not yet. I went and told matt that I was going to take a shower to see if they went away, I thought I remembered hearing that fake labor pains (which I had been having for WEEKS) would go away in the shower. They didn’t go away. So at that point Matt got up and started getting ready, I started getting things together. The contractions were coming stronger and closer. We were told to go to the hospital when they were 8 min apart because of my history with fast labors, suddenly the contractions were 4-5 min apart so Matt and I started to get nervous. I called the dr while he got Lincoln ready and grabbed all the bags, Gerdes said to go to the hospital to get checked out at least.

We dropped Lincoln off at my mom and dads, my mom came with us. I again text Kirsten and told her that Lincoln was alone at my parents with my dad and to go over there (sometimes we worry about him alone with him, the shiner from his party is one reason  ) she said she was on her way over. Matt, mom, and I drove to the hospital I was concerned the whole way that they would send us home. My water hadn’t broken and the contractions were 4-5 minutes apart and strong, but bareable. I couldn’t talk through them at all but they weren’t anything like the contractions with Lincoln. We checked into triage at 7:17 am. The contractions continued strong and 4 min apart. We got the same nurse in triage that we had with Lincoln a year ago, she remembered us too. It was funny. She checked me then and I was at 5cm. At my last drs appt I had been 100% effaced and closed. She said that the baby was at a 0 station. She went to call Dr. Gerdes to let her know that it would be a fast one again. She came back and 20 min later checked me again and I was at a 7cm. She left immediately to tell Gerdes that it was gong to be a REALLY fast labor and to get here asap. I asked at that point if I could get in the shower because the contractions were getting really strong and I hated going through it in that little triage room, it made me feel claustrophobic and trapped. She got me right to a room (oddly enough room 18. Lincoln was born on the 17th in room 17 Stella on the 18th in room 18) and started the IV. I tried to talk her out of the IV because I HATE them but she said that they had to because of policy. We both knew I wasn’t getting drugs, even if I wanted them it was way too late at this point. She put in the iv but didn’t hook me up to the machine so that I didn’t have to drag the thing everywhere. Then she wrapped the IV hand in plastic so I could get in the shower. I stayed in the shower forever. The contractions were getting stronger and the shower was a miracle, I was able to get through them. I just stood there hanging onto the rail and rocking back and forth and praying and breathing. After a while they said I needed to get out to get checked again, but I got into the bed and they didn’t check me for some reason. Then I labored in bed for awhile, Gerdes put up a bar over the bed and had the bed so that it was like a chair and I could grab the bar and rock back and forth that way. That also helped a lot. It hurt the worst when I was on my back, if I could get up off my back and rock then it was better. They were getting really close, maybe every 2 min and very very strong. They started to feel horrible like they did with Lincoln. They were really really bad. I thought I was going to vomit or cry, or both. Matt suggested that I get back in the shower so I did. Then after a couple more contractions I started to feel like I needed to push so they got me out and checked me. I was at an 8.

They were confused because it was going so fast and now seemed to have stopped. The nurse said that she was going to check me while I contracted, which was horrid. Having a contraction alone is bad but having one while someone is feeling your cervix is worse. She said that when I contracted my cervix slacked a bit, kind of opening more. She and Gerdes said what was going on was that there was so much pressure on the cervix (from her head) that it was getting bruised and swollen and that it was actually starting to close back up. They said that I was going to start pushing (since I felt the urge) and that they would pull the edge of the cervix back over the babies head since I wasn’t fully dialated. I started to get nervous because pushing without being fully dialated sounded painful and pushing the cervix back over the babies head sounded painful. I kept asking if they were sure and they kept saying “yes, we have to do this.” My mom said later that if this didn’t work then it would have to be an emergency c-section because the cervix was closing back up. So, I started pushing it was horrid, just as I imagined. It didn’t burn as bad as it did last time but it felt like it wasn’t going to work. Everytime I pushed it felt like I wasn’t making any headway. They kept saying that she was almost there and to keep going, Matt held my head up while I had my legs on the bar above the bed again. Gerdes told me to push inbetween contractions so that I wouldn’t tear (which I didn’t). Finally she was out. I felt the same relief I did with Lincoln and then they took her and cleaned her up. They said she was 8 lbs 14 oz, so 2 ozs away from 9 lbs. So I pushed a 9 baby out of 8 cm, not even fully dialated. It was hell.

But I could tell something was wrong because last time Gerdes was done way faster but this time she kept working on me. She asked the nurse to come over and start massaging my stomach, which sucked because they were doing it really rough and it hurt. Then I heard Gerdes say, “She won’t stop bleeding and I can’t keep the cervix from coming out” I asked, “is the cervix supposed to come out?” She goes, very straight faced, “no.” At that point I kept feeling gushes of blood flowing from me and I could tell they were getting more and more concerned. Suddenly they started talking really fast and hooking up all kinds of things to my IV, I heard Gerdes say start her on Pit. Then it seemed like the bleeding stopped and then it started gushing again, suddenly four or five other people come running into the room, they flatten the bed and started giving me shots and hooking up more stuff to the IV and everyone was really serious and talking fast to each other so I had a hard time understanding what was going on. My mom and matt were standing there scared looking and asking what was going on. Gerdes told them that I was losing way too much blood and they couldn’t stop the bleeding. They kept massaging my stomach really hard and trying to keep the cervix in. Another dr came in and said that he was going to give me a painkiller because of what they were doing to me down there (I don’t know what they were doing but it hurt like hell) then Gerdes started to do something but before she did they had to put some painkillers up my butt, seriously. I just laid on the table and prayed that everything would be okay and that I wouldn’t lose or damage my cervix because then I knew I wouldn’t be able to have any more kids. It kept going, they would get me to stop and then it would start gushing again. It seemed to go on forever. Suddenly the other drs left and everyone seemed calmed down. I was dizzy from the pain meds that they gave me and was really shaky and I couldn’t stop my teeth from chattering. It sucked. I made it through the whole delivery without any meds and then they had to flood me with them because of this so I still had some of the ‘side effects’ from them. I kept thinking back to Lincoln and how I jumped up 20 min after birth and started eating taco bell. But the bleeding finally slowed down, I got up to go to the bathroom. I was still shaky but getting hungry. At this time Kirsten and Andy and Lincoln came in. Kirsten and Andy had kept him at my parents house and drove up when my mom called them and said Stella was born. They all started to take pictures and clean stella up, I nursed her awhile because they said that nursing would also help contract my uterus and that would help stop the bleeding.

I had to have Pitocin for the next 12 hours to stop the bleeding and another med that started with an M that I can’t remember to stop the bleeding. That med I took up until late Saturday. That med made my stomach cramp so bad I was in a lot of pain most of the time I was in the hospital. Gerdes ordered vicodin for me for the pain but I didn’t want to take it for fear of being way too sleepy to deal with Stella so I just took Tylenol. I couldn’t take motrin because it would cause more bleeding. The Tylenol didn’t really help and on Friday night I was in so much pain I couldn’t sleep. Finally late Friday night I convinced them to take out the IV. They took my blood and the tests came back good so the nurse stopped the pitocin, I still had to take the M medicine though. Then I convinced her to take out the IV altogether at about midnight on Friday, it was horrible because I couldn’t really hold stella with it in or change diapers or anything. Saturday I woke up feeling like I had been hit by a car. They said that the bleeding had stopped to the point that I could take motrin, thank goodness. The pain started to go away once I took the last M med. I could barely walk and was sore all over. It was all from what happened after the delivery. We slept most of the day and then that night I started to feel a bit better. Matt went and got a real dinner for us and I went for a walk around the hospital, it was hard to move my legs. We all three slept good that night and went home the next morning. For the most part it was a fast delivery, checked in at 7:17 am and she was born at 9:57 am, but the complications towards the end are what made it so intense. It still scares me to think how close I came to an emgergency c-section and to losing my cervix. They said it was a combo of super fast labor, big baby, and close pregnancies that helped cause the extra bleeding and the uterus/cervix not staying in.

Sunday and today I feel fine, still a little sore. Stella is doing great, a great nurser and sleeper, hope that keeps up 

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Lincoln Matthew Sex: boy Born: 17 September, 2008 Age: 3 years & 151 days Birthday in: 214 days Starsign: Virgo Development: See the 32 months page. Biggest achievement so far: -

Birth details

Original due date: september 29, 2008
Type of delivery: Vaginal (without pain relief)
Duration of labor: 4 hours
Weight @ birth: 7 lbs 4 oz
Length @ birth: 20.67

Around 1:30 I woke up to use the bathroom, when I got back in bed I noticed that I had leaked some fluid. I thought perhaps it was pee so I went back to the bathroom. I got back into bed and was laying there and noticed that I leaked again, so I got up to go back to the bathroom-kind of confused at this point what was going on-and on the way there I had fluid running down my legs. I sat on the toilet and was trying to decide if it was my waters or urine and figured it had to be my waters. I was still unsure though, didn't seem like enough fluid to be my waters. I went back to bed yet again, and yet again had some leaking. It was about 2:00 am this time and I also started having some mild back pains that were coming and going. I started timing them and they were about eight to ten minutes apart. I still wasn�t 100% sure if my waters had broke and if the back pains were contractions. I got up, worked on the internet, did the dishes and started doing other little things that I wanted done in case it was labor and we would be heading to the hospital. Around 3:00 Matt woke up and asked me what I was doing. I told him that I thought my waters broke and that I was having contractions. He asked me if I was serious. I said yes, but that I didn�t know what to do at that point. I explained it to him and we decided to wait a bit til I called the dr. I wanted to see if the back pains got any closer together or stronger. Around four the pains were now about 4 to 5 mins apart and were getting stronger. I called Dr. Gerdes around five and she said to come in to the hospital immediately. I told her that my contractions were not a minute long yet, that they were only lasting 45 seconds. She said that it didn�t matter, if my water broke I had to go in. I told Matt but told him that I wanted to shower before I went. I showered and got ready and he started getting ready. We left the house around 6. When we got to the hospital they were expecting us, brought us into triage and starting asking questions and checking the basics. At seven in the morning I was 2 cm dialated. My contractions were getting very strong and painful, the nurse suggested we start walking the halls while they got our delivery room ready. Walking was not fun, every time a contraction hit it felt like a jackhammer pulsating into my back, no position was comfortable. We went back to triage and they had me sit in the bed while they did the vitals and entered the IV, which I didn�t want. They screwed the IV up three times and it was really painful. They were getting concerned about the strength of my contractions, they said that it looked like I was having back labor where the baby is pressing into a nerve into my back making the contractions even stronger and more painful. The bed and the position they were making me sit was horrible and making it worse, the room was so small there was nowhere to move around and there were four people piled in there. I felt very clausterphobic and frantic every time a contraction hit. Finally they said that they had a room ready around 8. We went in there and by this time the contractions were horrible, all I could do was lay in the bed and grip the rails and scream. Matt thought that I was going to rip the bed apart. The computers in that room weren�t working so they moved us down the hall to room 17. The nurse at that point kept telling me that I had to get drugs, that I was in too much pain. I told her that I didn�t want any. She checked me at that point (8:00) and told me that I was at a four or five and only half way there. She told me that I had a good 6 or 7 hours left and that I was too tense and my body was fighting the contractions and that I needed something to take the edge off. She told me that she would give me fentanol which would take the edge off, help my muscles relax to work with the contractions and that it would not harm or affect the baby. I had Matt look it up in the hospital book we had and he read the description,it would only take the edge off and was safe for the baby. I still wasn�t 100% sure but at that point I was bawling from the pain and when she said there was 6 or 7 hours left I figured I had no choice. I thought I was going to die from the pain. She put it in, it was just a drip into the IV. I started feeling a little better, still hurt but I could at least breathe through the contractions. I did feel my body relax a bit. Matt asked if I wanted my mom to come in and I said yes. She came in and was talking, as the contractions hit they weren�t as bad as before but still bad. Then another nurse came in, she said that she would be there for the rest of the delivery. She said that she knew that I wanted natural birth and that she was going to take the epidural out of the room since she knew I didn�t want it and they kept trying to get me to use it. When a contraction hit she, my mom and matt would tell me to breathe, to go with it. She kept saying breathe deeper because I was hyperventalating. I had to pee and got up to go to the bathroom. Walking was painful and once I sat down and a contraction hit I thought I was going to pass out. Again it was a pulsating pain, through my back. Matt and my mom helped me back to bed, all I wanted to do was lay on my side curled up in a ball. They checked me again around tenish and I was at 7cm. The nurse told me I was entering transition phase which I was happy because I knew that it was the beginning of the end. I could tell she was frantic and went to call Dr. Gerdes, no one had called her yet because they thought it would take me longer. The nurse had me get into the shower which felt good and really helped with the contractions. She told me she wanted me in there for 20 mins because Dr. Gerdes was on her way. She said to tell her if I got another contraction that made me want to push. As she was saying that a contraction came and I had the urge to push , couldn�t stop myself. She saw that and said "okay, back to the bed this baby is coming." I went back to the bed, fully naked at this point. She started setting everything up for delivery and told me that Dr. Gerdes might not make it but that she was a mid wife and that there was an on-call Dr waiting outside. He came in and was really rude, demanding that the lights be full bright on, even though it hurt my eyes and said that I had to lay flat on my back. I knew that was the worst position to deliver in, I told him I didn�t want to and he said that I had to and that this is what happens when you refuse drugs. I decided that I hated him. Just as we started Dr. Gerdes ran into the room and took over. Suddenly everyone was screaming at me to push. I was exhausted and couldn�t remember how to push. Dr. Gerdes kept telling me to push. It felt like it would never end. It felt like I was on fire and ripping all over the place. I didn�t want to push because it burned everytime I did. Finally they said that the head was out, then the shoulders, I heard Dr. Gerdes yell at the nurse about there being a double cord. I was confused and thought she meant that he had two umbilical cords. Later on I learned that the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. Matt said that it was the scariest thing he ever saw because when he came out his f ace was all white. Suddenly I felt a whoosh as his body slipped out. I was in shock but so happy it was over. They put Lincoln on my chest and I just looked at him, I couldn�t even really think anything. Dr. Gerdes was getting the placenta out and told me that I didn�t tear and I kept asking her if that was true because I had felt like it was ripping so bad. My mom said that dr. gerdes had kept putting a mineral oil on me and she thinks that�s why I didn�t tear. At that point I was so happy because I was already feeling better. I started to breastfeed Lincoln and everyone started cleaning up. He was born at 11:05 am. They checked him, made me use the restroom before they would take out my IV which was the only thing that was bothering me. Once they took it out I felt 100% fine. It was probably noon.

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Jack Harrington Sex: boy Born: 19 March, 2011 Age: 0 years & 333 days Birthday in: 32 days Starsign: Pisces Development: See the 11 months page. Biggest achievement so far: -

Birth details

Original due date: March 31 2011
Type of delivery: Vaginal (without pain relief)
Duration of labor: 3 hrs 45 min
Weight @ birth: 8lbs 8ozs
Length @ birth: 21.25 inches

Jack-Harrington`s birthstory

this is really long, it's from my blog about the kiddos....http://animalcrackersonthecouch.wordpress.com/

“So, your uterus tends to fall out….” My doctor was standing in our hospital room in her pea coat the day after Jack was born and acted like she was discussing the weather. No big deal she said just happens sometimes.

Once again, after Jacks birth my body started to hemorrhage and my uterus, so I’m told, attempted to leave my body. I guess even it had had enough; it was giving its two week notice. Jack’s labor was the worst of both worlds for me, back labor like Lincoln’s and hemorrhaging like Stella’s. Two out of three labors resulted in back labor. Two out of three resulted in hemorrhaging. I don’t like my odds.

All pregnancies are miserable towards the end, but this one seemed especially so. Perhaps it was all the unneeded testing (going to the Doctors four times a week while balancing two toddler’s schedules and working full time was a stress ball), or the endless itching (couldn’t sleep AT ALL due to being so itchy!) or just being big and crabby and uncomfortable. Either way, I was ready for it to be over.

We went to bed at about 11:30pm Friday night. I woke up around midnight itching again. The night before I hadn’t fallen asleep until 3:30am due to the itching, I was tired and couldn’t believe that I was going to be up all night again. But as I laid there I kept feeling slight back pains and small contractions. It had been happening the last couple days so I wasn’t too excited but figured I would get up since I couldn’t sleep anyway and time them. They were 20 min apart for an hour. Then 10 min, then 8 min. Not getting worse though, but I started to get a little excited. I decided to take a shower and see if they went away, false labor should go away in the shower. They didn’t!! I was getting even more excited. By this time it was about 2am. After the shower I decided to lay down for a bit and while laying there the contractions tapered off and got further and further apart. Now I was annoyed. Since I still couldn’t sleep because of the itchiness I thought I’d get up again. I sat in the living room for awhile, the contractions coming and going, not getting more regular but not leaving either. I was confused. Went to the bathroom, stood up and water started trickling out. Again, just like with Lincoln’s birth I wasn’t sure if it was my water breaking or if I had just peed my pants. You would think after three babies I would know for sure if I was having contractions or if my water broke. But there I was, 38 weeks pregnant, standing in the bathroom, and trying to decipher if I had lost my last little bit of dignity by peeing in my own pants. I decided it wasn’t pee. By now it was almost 3am; I went and got Matt up and started to get dressed and our stuff together. I called my mom to come sit with Lincoln and Stella. She didn’t answer. Matt was moving kind of slow, and I could feel the contractions starting to get tighter. Suddenly I started to feel nervous and restless. I just wanted to get to the hospital. Wanted it over with. Called my mom a couple more times and she was finally on her way. She showed up so fast I swear she must have been sleeping in her car out front. Matt was finally ready and we left. It was stormy, rainy and windy and cold.

I checked into triage at 3:42am. I know the precise time because I was having contractions while signing the sheet and the nurse kept repeating it over and over. Triage always sucks. The rooms are SMALL and claustrophobic. I just kept asking to get to a shower because the contractions were getting really really bad and the shower is usually the best way for me to deal with them. Matt kept saying, “This reminds me a lot of Lincolns, really seems a lot like Lincoln’s birth”…I knew what he was referring too but didn’t want to think about it. I had back labor with Lincoln and it was horrid. I had actually spent most of this pregnancy scared to death of going through back labor again. I spent the last few weeks doing special yoga moves to help prevent it.

Back labor is no joke. I was lucky enough to have experienced it twice. Stella’s labor felt like mild period cramps compared to Lincoln and Jack’s labors. During back labor it feels like someone is ripping the bones from your lower back, one by one, with a pair of pliers. Simply cannot describe the hellish-ness of it. It happens because the baby is facing the wrong direction and the hard part of their head is hitting the softest, most sensitive nerves in your lower back and spinal cord. Sometimes the baby turns during labor and relieves back labor, sometimes they stay backward the whole way and are even delivered that way.

The nurse said that she was going to go call Dr Gerdes and then get us to a room. I was getting nervous, agitated. They hadn’t put in an IV (which I knew I needed because of my hemorrhaging issues) or checked me. They weren’t moving quickly enough for me, I just had this feeling of dread that I couldn’t shake. We overheard the nurse talking to Dr Gerdes and heard her say, “oh…so I should treat her as high risk? Is she a level one or level two?” Matt looked at me and said, “What’s she talking about? Because of last time?” I nodded. Basically Gerdes was telling her that I almost bled to death last time and that this time all precautions must be in place. Not a bad thing, but you don’t want to hear your Dr tell a nurse that you are at high risk for anything, especially high risk for bleeding to death. The feeling of dread grew.

We finally got into a room and I was given my official labor nurse. She was a big African American woman named Lee and seemed like nothing could phase her. Another nurse came in and put in the IV, she put it about four inches back from my wrist, so it wouldn’t bother me at all (again, they were already planning on me having the IV in for a couple days). Then Lee, my nurse, checked me. I was at a 5cm. I wanted to cry. The contractions were so horrible I thought for sure I’d be at an 8. The pain was so bad I was shaking uncontrollably and my teeth were chattering, it was like my whole body was convulsing from the pain. It felt like continuous transition phase. She set up the shower for me to get in, it was 5 am. Once in the shower things got a little better, but then the contractions started coming one on top of the other. The intensity of the contractions paired with no sleep for two days and the hot water made me feel like I was going to pass out. I told matt I needed to get out; I wanted to be checked again because I swore that from the strength of the contractions and how close they were that I had to be in transition. I was at a 6 ½ cm. I wanted to cry. All I wanted to do was lie down in bed and cry. But I couldn’t stand to be on my back (at this point both matt and I knew that it was back labor) and so I sat on the edge of the bed screaming. Lee had left at this point and I just screamed and yelled though out every contraction.

The next hour was weird. Contractions never really got regular; they would hit one on top of the other for 10-15 min and then taper off for 15 min. Matt said that I actually fell asleep a couple times during the long stretches. He said it was like being stuck in a horror film, I would go from lying quietly to shooting straight up off the bed screaming and swearing in pain. Because of the back labor I couldn’t stand to be on my back during a contraction so when they hit I’d do a type of back bridge move. Lee saw that it was back labor and when the next contraction hit she had me lay on my side and started massaging my lower back, really really hard. During the next contraction she flipped me over like a pancake and started massaging my back again. I realized as I screamed what she was doing. She was literally turning the baby from the outside. After about 4 of those HORRID contractions I suddenly felt like something was being ripped from my body, I couldn’t control the urge to push. (Once she turned him he literally came flying out) Lee checked me really quick and said I was at a 9cm. I thought to myself, ‘great let’s just do this then.’ I pushed Stella out at 8cm so I figured I was already ahead of the game. They seemed to start moving in slow motion, I just felt like they didn’t understand the panic that I was in. Dr Gerdes was getting set up and told Lee to give me a dose of Fetanyol. Dr. Gerdes looked at me and said that there wasn’t an option for it, she was going to take some ‘precautions’ as she kept calling them in order to reduce my chances of hemorrhaging and she said that it would be so painful afterward it had to happen. She told me she was going to inject the umbilical cord with a shot of picotin as soon as the baby came out in order for the uterus to start contracting immediately and hopefully to eliminate the bleeding that happened with Stella’s birth. I actually felt a little hopeful about the dose of fentanyol and asked Lee if pushing would hurt less because she was putting it in. She looked at me like she was telling me Santa wasn’t real and said, “oh, no. I’m sorry Hun. You didn’t get the epidural. You will feel it all. This is just going to help your cramping afterward.” I kinda shrugged. Whatever at this point. Suddenly the feeling of someone being ripped from my body returned and everyone seemed to snap into action. Lee grabbed my legs and started shouting at me. Matt started shouting at me. Dr Gerdes started shouting at me. Suddenly I felt a whoosh and thought to myself, “holy shit! It’s over” I started laugh crying, I couldn’t believe it was over already. I had started pushing at 6:38am and Jack was born at 6:42am. I had gone from a 5cm to 10 cm in an hour and half. The pushing burned again, just like with Lincolns but it was over so fast I didn’t even care. I just kept saying, “I’m so glad it’s over. I’m so glad it’s over.” I’d look at matt and say, “It’s over! It’s over!!” He’d just smile. I felt euphoric.

Then the fun started. At first I thought I’d get away without hemorrhaging, everyone seemed to start cleaning up. Then I felt that familiar gush and I saw the look on Dr Gerdes face. She looked almost happy, like a kid who had been working on a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle and finally found the last piece. I think she liked the fact that she knew how to fix a problem, and was prepared for it. She started to show Lee how to hold in my uterus, literally, which Lee did for the next 32 min until it would stay in on its own. While Lee did that Dr Gerdes did something that felt equilvant to punching me repeatedly in the groin. I’m still not sure what exactly they were doing but it must have worked because eventually the bleeding stopped and they seemed happy with their work. Everyone was in a great mood, congratulating each other, thanking each other, hugging each other. I’d never seen doctors and nurses so emotional before.

The feeling of dread was gone. It was replaced with a pinkish, wrinkly newborn who stared serenely up at me. I knew he’d be mellow. I remember laughing and thinking that everything I was worried about happened. Back labor. Bleeding. I thought I could prevent back labor through yoga. Dr Gerdes had her ‘precautions’ for the hemorrhaging. We all try to control our fears one way or another and honestly when it comes down to it, we have no control. Maybe that’s my biggest fear. All we can do is get through it and congratulate each other when we pop out on the other side.

Four became five at 6:42am Saturday March 19, 2011. John Harrington weighed 8lbs 8ozs and was 21.25inches long. He entered the world head on (literally-he tried to come out both shoulders at once), with a vengeance. And is the most peaceful soul. We will call him Jack.

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