Darwin Patrick Sex: boy Born: 25 May, 2008 Age: 3 years & 266 days Birthday in: 99 days Starsign: Gemini Development: See the 32 months page. Biggest achievement so far: Darwin knows his shapes and colors and is learning numbers and letters!

Birth details

Cadence Maxine Sex: girl Born: 24 November, 2010 Age: 1 years & 83 days Birthday in: 282 days Starsign: Sagittarius Development: See the 14 months page. Biggest achievement so far: Cadence is breastfeeding like a champ!

I was scheduled for induction on November 24th at 7:30am. The night before I was so itchy from the cholestasis and so excited for the delivery that I tossed and turned all night long! I got MAYBE two hours of sleep all night. As the hours crept by so very slowly, I kept looking at the clock on my cell phone and wishing I could either fall asleep or somehow fast forward through til morning. I did finally doze at 5:45am. Thankfully I had hubby set a backup alarm because I must have shut off my alarm in my sleep!

His alarm went off at 6:45am and we had only a half hour to get out the door! I decided not to shower since I had just bathed the night before. Hubby showered and shaved his head and I remember being dressed downstairs and wondering how freaking long does it take to take a shower?! I went and woke my sister (staying over to be there to watch Darwin during the delivery), who was sleeping on the futon in the bonus room, and told her we were going to be heading out soon. She got up immediately and came downstairs. I was so nervous and excited at the same time as I buzzed around gathering the last minute items for the hospital; pillow - check!, media bag - check!, purse - check! FINALLY hubby came downstairs and we were just getting ready to head out when Darwin's voice rang out upstairs, "Mommy! Where are you?!" I was glad that I was going to be able to say goodbye to my big boy before leaving. I gave him hugs and kisses and told him that I was going to the doctor to get Sissy out of my belly and when I came home Sissy would be with me! He didn't seem too impressed, but did give me hugs and bubble kisses just the same! Thankfully there was no meltdown involved in the goodbye process!

We loaded into the car while it was still dark outside. It was impressively warm out for the end of November. Hubby had to run back inside for something. He wanted to know if we had time to get coffee at McDonald's but at this time it was 7:20 so I nixed the idea and said we'd better go straight to the hospital.

We arrived on time and hubby dropped me off at the emergency room entrance because the regular entrance doesn't get unlocked until 8am. So I walked by the emergency room desk and asked them on my way by, "Do I need to go down to the regular registration desk?" They asked me if I was there for an induction and I confirmed and they said yes and commented that I seemed an old hand at this. So I went down to the registration desk and told the lady that I was here for induction. She immediately asked, "<thebigtomato>?" as she pulled my file from her organizer in front of her. Ahhh! They were expecting me! I assented that yes, that's me, and they sent me around the registration desk to an office where a lady checked me in. While I was in there hubby called my cell to ask where I was and I told him. I was just leaving the registration office when he came around the corner. The lady walked us up to labor and delivery and to delivery room 7 which would be my home for the next few hours.

My nurse was waiting for me and introduced herself as Shannon. She was blonde, upbeat, friendly, young, edgy, just exactly the kind of person I would want for my nurse. I immediately went to the restroom to change into my gown and Shannon commented that I seemed to know the routine. I told her I had been there, done that a few times recently. So I got into the hospital bed and she hooked me up to the fetal monitors, started my IV (she had a hard time pushing through the skin - the most painful IV I've EVER had started, but thankfully it got less sore with time, not worse), started the antibiotics for GBS, and began going through all the registration information.

We had just finished that when Doc came in and ran through the plan - we would get the antibiotics in ("Good, they're almost done already", she observed) and then break my water. She reiterated that it would be no problem since I'm 4cm dilated and that she expected that would get things going really well since I'd been battling preterm labor. She also informed me once more that as soon as an active labor pattern was established I could get my epidural at anytime and that if breaking my water didn't get things going, we would do pitocin. She seemed bright, chipper, alert, and like she was feeling much more rested than I was! I was buzzing from the excitement of the upcoming labor and delivery though so my exhaustion of just an hour earlier was a distant memory.

Hubby was taking pictures of me in my hospital bed looking like labor was the most fun thing I could imagine doing that day! It wasn't long before the antibiotics were done and Doc was back to break my water. I was a bit nervous as I'd already had my epidural when they broke my water with Darwin so I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't really feel much of anything other than her fingers spreading me open and a small trickle of fluid. She told me that things would probably start right away and she would be back.

Shannon helped me to the restroom and showed me how to manage a towel between my legs in case I was leaking. Really there wasn’t much leaking when I was standing, only when I would lay down. Hubby was starving, but didn't want to leave for fear he would miss something but I told him if he was gonna go, he'd better go NOW, not later. So he left for McDonald's and I convinced him to get me a frappe even though officially milk isn't a clear fluid and therefore I shouldn't have it. He fought me and didn't want to break the rules and get it for me, but I pressured him til he agreed.

While he was gone, I decided to walk the halls for a while. I paced up and down the hallway and as I did so, my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. At this point they were about 4-5 minutes apart and lasting well over 90 seconds. I decided to head back to the bed as they were really beginning to take my breath away.

Hubby got back with his food (thanks for bringing it back so you could eat in front of your famished wife, Honey!) and my frappe. I took a few sips and asked him to set it over by him so I wouldn't get busted. Shannon came in to talk to me and while she was there, Hubby was drinking my frappe! I was shooting daggers at him from my eyes, but I couldn't say anything because I wasn't supposed to be drinking it anyway! GRRRRRRRR!

I told Shannon that things were getting pretty painful and I was wondering when I could get the epidural. She said Doc had already placed the order for the epidural so I could get it anytime. I kind of hemmed and hawed a bit but decided to go ahead and get it. So Shannon started my bolis of fluid to get me ready and paged the anesthesiologist. Hubby finished his food and the anesthesiologist arrived. I was scared to death! I commented that I don't normally mind needles and you can stick me 100 times and I won't bat an eyelash but epidurals scare me to death. The anesthesiologist teased that they scare him too and he wished his hands would stop shaking! He kept up with his 'jabs' (ARRRARRRARRR!) throughout the procedure. Meanwhile I was contracting every 2 minutes and they were VERY painful and in addition to this I was terrified, gripping Hubby's hands, sweating profusely, trembling, etc. The anesthesiologist (Dan was his name), let me sit up through the contractions. He was very nice and did a great job. He didn't even give me a zap like I got when I had my epidural with Darwin. Once the epidural was in place, I laid flat on my back to make sure it distributed evenly and once he got me feeling good and comfortable (AH, the RELIEF!), he set me up on a constant drip and headed off.

At this point I was feeling really good! It was 11:40am when I posted on facebook that I had the epidural and was feeling much better. I was getting really excited at this point. Doc came in and checked me and I was only to 5cm. They decided to give it an hour and see what happened. Well, over the hour I was comfortable and trying to rest, but my contractions were spacing back out again to every 5-7 minutes.

At about 12:40pm Shannon checked me and I was still only at 5cm so they decided to start pitocin. Shannon started me on the lowest dosage of pitocin and told me that Doc said it would probably only be about an hour before I would be completely dilated. The pitocin immediately kicked the contractions back to every 2 minutes, but after about 20 minutes they began to space out again. Another nurse came in and bumped the dosage up a notch. Once again the contractions were back to every 2 minutes and I was no longer in my happy numb place.

I was feeling definite discomfort during the contractions and then suddenly I had a contraction and felt so much pressure in my bum that it freaked me out a little. I decided to wait a contraction to see if I had really felt what I thought I felt and the next contraction I promptly paged the desk and let them know to tell Shannon that I was feeling lots of pressure in my bum. Hubby laughed that I called it my "bum". Shannon rushed in and got gloved and checked me and told me I was complete. This was at about 1:30-ish.

Shannon paged Doc and the crew to come in and prepare the delivery room. Here's where the details get kind of fuzzy in my mind. The contractions started really hurting - like bad bad BAD cramping in my cervix and I felt so much downward pressure that I didn't think it was possible they could get the room set up in time before Cadence would just slide right out. It took FOREVER for them to get things ready. Doc popped in to say she just needed to change her shoes and would be right back. There was a nurse setting up the delivery cart and Meghan, my FAVORITE nurse from when I was in preterm labor, was there setting up the warmer and area for Cadence, and Shannon was kind of organizing and openly marveling at what had happened to Doc. I told the nurse setting up the delivery cart that they needed to hurry or I was going to just give birth without them and she kind of laughed and said I'd better not (I WASN'T KIDDING!)...

I guess Meghan went and found Doc and asked her if she was coming and Doc thought Shannon was having me push a while and Meghan told Doc that they were waiting on her because I was ready to have the baby. So Doc comes in and comments that I'm feeling pressure and I confirm that yes, I am. She is calmly explaining that it is normal to feel that and let's just check and see where we're at so while she's talking calmly she reaches in and asks me to do a gentle practice push and so I barely push at all and she instantly switches gears and says, "WHOA! Okay, stop pushing!" and says, "We're having a baby here!" DUH, people! I've been telling you the whole time she's freaking COMING OUT!

So they got the stirrups up and dropped off the end of my bed, got my legs up, and Doc got her hazard gear on. Shannon asked me if I remembered how to push and I told her yes, like I'm pooping. She ran through the drill with me again about holding my legs and pushing down through my butt as hard as I could.

When Doc finally got in place and ready to deliver me it was 2:06pm. She told me with the next contraction to push so I was waiting for the contraction and then it came over me and I grabbed the backs of my thighs while Hubby held my left foot and Shannon held my right and I pushed like there was no tomorrow. They said they could see her and I could see her in the mirror so instead of a 10 second count I just pushed and pushed and pushed until she crowned! OH MY GOD, the BURNING was SO INTENSE that it took my breath away. Shannon was coaxing me to push again and I told her the burn hurt so bad, it burns, it burns!

Doc told me to take a break a minute to let things stretch. She asked if I could feel the contraction I was having and I told her all I felt was BURN! Finally though it got more intense and I could feel it and I said I was ready to push. So up went my legs and I PUSHED! Once again there was no counting, just me pushing, pushing, PUSHING endlessly. I don't remember when, but Doc was saying my feet needed to go back and Shannon hiked my right leg way back but Hubby was so dazed with what was going on I don't know if he wasn't paying attention or what and Shannon had to reach over and push back my left leg too. Cadence's head popped right out.

At this point Doc told me to stop pushing and noted to Shannon that the cord was around the neck once. Then she told me to push again and I PUSHED! I could see Cadence's WHITE face and WHITE head out of me and at this point I was motivated to get her out despite the pain. I pushed her shoulder out in a third push and that was it! She was out! Cadence Maxine was born at 2:09pm on Wednesday, November 24th!

They immediately put her on me. Her eyes were open and she was looking at me. She was pale and covered in vernix and slimy and somehow in that moment she was still amazingly beautiful! I don't know exactly what I said to her, but I think I just said hi to her over and over and told her how beautiful she was. Meanwhile Hubby was cutting the cord, but I was only vaguely aware of that. They let her be on me for a couple of minutes before they moved her to the warmer.

Doc began the repair work and said that everything looked really good. I only needed one stitch in two places, neither in the perineum. She had a hard time getting the placenta out. It just didn't want to let go! It finally came out and felt AMAZING just like it did with Darwin. Like a huge weight lifted out of my stomach! I think I even said, "Ahhhh!" as it came out and Doc laughed and was like, "I know! It feels good, doesn't it?!" The repair was impressively quick.

Doc got her hazard gear off and guessed Cadence’s weight to be 6 lbs, 12 oz just before they weighed her. She was right on the money! Cadence was 6 lbs, 12 oz and 19.25 inches long! Doc talked to me a bit about seeing me at the 6 week checkup and congratulations, the baby is perfect, etc. (I was only vaguely listening) and then she was gone and the nurse brought Cadence to me.

Her poor little face was like one big swollen bruise from the delivery. I loved her instantly, but on closer inspection I did not think she was very pretty. It was difficult at that point to see through the trauma of the delivery. All I could do was cuddle her and pity her for her traumatic journey out of my belly. I remember stroking her face and talking to her, but I don't remember what I said. I just knew that she was my baby and I adored her!

We actually just found out at 16 days old that she also got a broken collar bone on her trip out of the birth canal! So she came out fast and got beat up quite a bit, but the love she encountered when she entered the world was more monumental than any injury she could have received.

I don’t remember which nurse, but at this point one of them asked me if I wanted to try breastfeeding Cadence so I gave it a go. Lo and behold, she latched right on like it was just the most natural thing in the world! After all the issues I had breastfeeding Darwin, I couldn’t believe it! Hubby and I looked at each other in astonishment. All the crap I gave myself about my defective body with my son because I had gone through infertility and then had a difficult pregnancy and finally couldn’t breastfeed on my own without a shield because I supposedly had “flat nipples” – all that was for nothing! There is nothing wrong with my nipples, thank you very much! Cadence proves that my breastfeeding issues the first time around had more to do with my son not having enough determination and actually had very little to do with me.

Having a second baby wasn’t like having my first. It was much more difficult being in the hospital this time as Hubby had to be home with Darwin much of the time so overnight both nights I was on my own with Cadence. I didn’t want to send her to the nursery so I just plowed through with VERY little sleep. I think maybe the stress of caring for her on my own when I was still so sore myself along with the general lack of rest had a lot to do with why it took a bit longer to feel the reality that this baby was MINE. It took a bit longer for the emotions to sink in than it did with Darwin. It may not have been instantaneous like it was with Darwin, but over the 2 days we spent in the hospital together, the love I felt for my baby girl grew and grew until it was fully bloomed.

I can’t even give justice in words to the love I feel for my sweet Cadence. She is everything I hoped for during the months of trying to conceive her and the months of carrying her in my belly. She is a beautiful and sweet tiny one. She has changed so much since we first met. What was once a swollen, battered face transformed into a perfect creamy complexion with tiny doll-like features – an up-turned nose, full and kissable lips, round cheeks, and big gray eyes (that are starting to look like they may end up blue like her brother’s). She is a quiet little girl that can sleep through her bubby’s screeches and screams, but when she wants something, boy will she let you know! I have inspected her thoroughly and come to the conclusion that she is nothing short of perfect!

Darwin really likes her, although he doesn’t really understand that she’s still too small to play with him. He runs his cars up and down her body and throws balls at her and tries so hard to engage her! He calls her Sissy and now we do too! Life with two is much more stressful, but so very fulfilling! My kids are my whole life and I wouldn’t have it any other way! I love, love, LOVE Darwin and Sissy!