I'm 8 weeks pregnant with my first child =) and i'm very happy and thrilled to be a mom. I'm 26 and in a rocky relationship - which scares me from time to time. i'm madly in love with the father and i already feel sooo much love for my little pinto bean size baby!

I love talking with other women about their experiences and joys of this tremendous life changing journey. So please share your story if you like. I'm the first of all my girlfriends to be pregnant and I'm not really sure whats ahead for me - other then in 9 months i will have the most beautiful baby whom i will give the world to.

June 1 -

Unfortunately the father and i split and its been crazy since. we're trying the whole friendship thing for the sake of the baby. i'm really glad he wants to be around and a part of the babies life. but there's still a part of me that wonders if the novelty of the baby and me wear off. i love him don't get me wrong. but he has just as many mood swings as i do!!! =) lol. But i go for another doc's apointments on wednesday and he said he'd be there for me. so we'll see.

Thanks everyone for the kind messages. this is all new to me and gets a little scary at times.

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June 6 -

I get to see my doctor today!!!I don't know why i'm so excited to see him, its just a pelvic exam to make sure things are ok.I really really can't wait till an ultra sound tho!!!! wish me luck!i hope i'm being a good mom and following all the rules of things to eat and not eat....=/

And things with the dad have improved too. knock on wood.however ever time i say that.....things go terribly wrong.

how are you guys?

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June 12 -

i can't wait to have my belly show!!!! cute!!! i get more and more excited as each day goes by. now that my family knows and even tho that was really hard telling them, since i'm not in the world's greatest relationship and they don't approve of him and we're not married...yadda yadda ya.....but everyone seems to be coming around. i'm dying to get my first ultra sound done!!!! i see everyone's pictures from theirs and i just can't wait! i really want to find out what it is too. the dad and i are already fighting over names =P lol!!! he's been really good for the most part. he got a second job just so he can give our baby everything it needs and more.

my mood swings get out of control, but that half the fun i guess =/ lol!!!! oh well. i hope everyone else is doing great and enjoying pregnancy and all the joys that come with it! =)

its almost fathers day!!!!

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June 20 -

my absolute best friend in the world has organized a walk from london to toronto in 5 days to raise awareness and to fundraise for HG. she is a long time sufferer but more importantly survivor. she has fought tooth and nail 3 seperate times to have the family she has always wanted, unfortunately, all three time ended tragically. she almost lost her life fighting to hard to bring a beautiful baby into this world. so as a way to help many other women like her, she has decided to take on this tremendious crusade and educate the world and the medical profession about HG and the severity of it all. there is hope - we just have to spread the word.

so this saturday i'm leaving calgary to fly to london. i'm super stoaked to be a part of this. granted being 13 weeks pregnant might put a bit of a wrench into the plan, but i'm going to be there and do my best to do this walk and support her and this great cause. i'm very excited!

i just wanted to take a minute and post a couple helpful sites up which explain more about HG and the Journey of Hope.

http://hyperemesis.org/

http://journeyofhopeblog.blogspot.com/index.html

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JULY 3

WOW! thanks for all the interest in the walk! it was a challenge thats for sure, but we made it all the way! of course i didn't walk the whole thing - there was a heat wave (go figure) during that week and with the humidex - i was being really carefull not to put my baby in harm. but i walked probably about half the distance - full distance being about 225 kms. i am very proud of what we accomplished and just spreading the word about HG was great. this will be a yearly thing, so if any of you are interested.... =) lol!

and today is my first day back at work, but i only have a half day since i'm going for my FIRST ULTRA SOUND!!!!! i'm so so so so so excited! i can't wait! i get to see our baby!!! we're overjoyed at this point! pictures to follow!

how is everyone else?! i hope all the momma's to be are doing great!

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July 17 -

oops! its been a while since i last wrote something. a lot has been going on so i appologize. just to give you a quick recap in the past couple weeks...

my boyfriend moved back home to bc for a bit to straighten out and to be with family - there was a death of a close friend which really hit him hard. so that was sad. i was away for a week and then i came home, spent 3 days with him and he's been gone ever since =( i miss him terribly! its been really hard on me, not being with him. but we talk everynight and text during the whole part of the day. so thats nice, but its not the same. on nights were you just want someone to hold you or rub your back - i'm on my own. BUT on the very bright side!!!!! i am leaving on saturday to go out and visit him! I'M SO EXCITED!!!! plus i also get to meet his mom (for the very first time!) we've been together for 5 years now on and off and i've met both his biological sisters but never his mom or huge extended family! so i'm very exctied and slightly nervous. i just can't wait to see his home town but more importantly HIM!!! yeah!

also i went to the doctor yesterday for a check up. first off i lost 2 pounds from my last visit about 5 weeks ago. =/ eep! but him and i both figured it was because of my week long walk i did for charity. he wasn't alarmed so i'm not either. and then he did poke around on my tummy and he looked puzzled. he asked how far along i am and i told him i'm about 17 weeks give or take a day. he looked at me and said there was no way. so he had to dig up my ultrasound and sure enough i am 17 weeks! so he checked me again and said that my uterus is sitting lower and farther back. again he didn't seem concerned, but i dont know what that means. a lady at work said that you get less stretch marks. but both of her kids were like that and she had no complications. AND THEN....yes there is more....my last pap came back abnormal. there was a sign that my cells had changed or were different. he had mentioned something about a low grade something-or-other-giant-medical-term lesion. which he sumed up as - i need to go for paps every 6 months to monitor it. it could become something as serious as cervical cancer or it could heal its self and go away. again for the third time he wasn't too alarmed and said its nothing to loose sleep over. GEEZ!!!! so all in all it was a strange doctor's appointment. but everything is still ok. so i guess i'm ok. i just wish my partner could of been there for that appointment! =( he was very appologetic when i called him to fill him in - he was worried about me and offered to come back if i needed him. i was tempted to say yes, but i'll see him in a couple of days.

and this brings us up to date!

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Aug 1 -

So i'm 19 weeks now! woot! half way there!!! and things have been going ok. i have my freaks outs - which at the time are crazy stressful and then one of you fine ladies say comforting words and the world seems right again. lol! gotta love these mood swings! geez!

so in case you missed it i freaked out about only gaining 5 pounds so far and being 5 months prego. but i now know that each woman carries differently and grows at different rates. so i'm ok.

yesterday i went to the pregnancy care center here in calgary and LET ME TELL YOU - I AM SOOOOOO GREATFUL I DID!!!! i love them!!! its all peer councelling and its great! they make you feel so comfortable and i can't wait to go back for another appointment! plus they give you loads of info - things i didn't even think about before. and one of the greatest things was that i was able to get some free maternity clothes there! and they have baby clothes too. and the classes that registered nurses teach....so great! i'm enrolled in about four different classes. i really can't wait! and i would reccommend this to any woman!!!! especially if you feel alone and not sure where to turn. they are extremely helpful! even though i have made up my mind and i am keeping my child we still talked about all the options just to be informed. and hearing the details about abortions confirmed thats not an option for me. neither is open adoption. but it did raise some questions. but after doing some journalling last night i know 100% in my heart and in my head that i am doing the right thing - regardless is my family is 100% behind me, or if my man and i don't work out in the end.....i know this is my future! i feel really great about that!!!!

AND.....in just 7 looooooong days i will know the sex of my baby!!!! so so so excited i can't stand it!!!

thanks to all the moms and moms to be out there on this amazing site! thanks for listening to me vent or give some insight when i'm clueless! i wish you all the safest and healthiest pregnancies in the world. take care and keep me udpated.

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Aug 15 -

21 weeks and counting! woot! half way mark! and happy to report things are going pretty good. not too many problems or complications....knock on wood.

I never really clued into how much the little one can really determine the course of your plans - which may sound really retarded. but its true. i've been out of my skin excited to find out what the sex of this little one inside me is. but he/she has other plans for me! i'm dying to know. i've gone for two u/s sounds in the last 2 weeks - one wasn't very clear and the tech needed to get measurments and check out the development. and then when i resechduled it - the second one was much better, but still no sex of the baby =( looks like i'm destined to buy yellows and greens.....which there could be worse things to complain about. i'm just very excited and want to decorate the nursery and get clothes here and there before hand.

the father and i are doing much better. we still have our moments but for the most part we're really good. there is talk about moving in together soon. whcih would be great to have him around - i love the fool to death and i want to spend my life with him. but i know things still need to get worked out. i think i've got a pretty level head on about this now. i'm feel pretty good right now.....but i just know there is a prego emotional moment in there somewhere... lol!!!!

i hope the rest of you ladies are doing great!

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Aug 31 -

well its official - I AM NOW A SINGLE MOM TO BE!

its been a rough week - very emotional very stressfull and very painfull. but i'm starting to feel better. still pretty emotional about the whole thing, but thats to be expected. so yeah. its been tough but i have so much loving support and care from the most amazing friends and family - which is really helping.

i had to leave him for the sake of my baby! i won't let him take me and our baby down with him. he's on a path to self destruction and - really i think he'll either end up dying on the streets all so he could have his addiction, he could very well end up in jail - people do stupid things to support thier demons. there is a RATHER small chance he might hit rock bottom and be able to come back from all this. but i am NO LONGER waiting. no more "what ifs". i need to think about myself and my baby! right now he/she can't survive without me. and to be honest this little wee one in me saved my life!

*sob*

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Oct 22 2007

ooops! its been ages since i've actually written and updated my journal -

well things have been good and a bit rough but i guess thats how it goes. its all in the matter of you you handle things. the "dad" and i are still not together. we go thru phases were we get along and then were we hate each other so much. i've said it before, but he's probably more moody then i am! geez! anyways. he still flips and flops, but in the end i don't really count on him. he's going thru a rough time - and i've come to terms with his life. plus with him pretty much out of the picture - which is kind of sad still, but what can you do?! but yeah - my family has been a TON more supportive.

i've been out shopping and i must PRAISE my step mom for all her help!!!! i am now feeling more confident and ready for the little arrival - i know its going to be a tough challenge still, but at least i now have the much needed things - i have a crib, and a car seat and stroller and a ton more other cute things. so i'm not feeling too overwheled with all that part. now i just have to figure out the delievery part and how to be the best mom to my precious little one.

i can't believe i'm already 31 weeks!!! eep! and things have continued to go smoothy! (knock on wood) i love watching my stomach move around as my baby kicks me and shifts - its my little pleasures since anytime i try to get someone else to feel he/she stops. it only moves for mom! =)

i hope everyone else is doing great! and i must thank all of you who answer my questions and lend an ear to my venting and frustrations at time. this site is truely a life saver!

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Jan 10/08

SHE IS HERE!!!!!!!

I had my baby! I'd love to introduce the world to my precious little girl - Hazel Lynn! She was born Dec 24 at 10:06pm. She was 7lbs 2 oz! Both her and i are doing amazing. I love every minute I spend with her. She is the best baby in the world and I am looking forward to a lifetime of happiness with her!!!! Go check her out...I've posted some pics.