If anyone on here is on facebook feel free to add me as a friend
i'm under the name of alyce boyd, just be sure to put in the msg section your from here.(i'm getting alot of random people adding me)

April 1st ;

What a day, just had to go to court today for my partner, (he was involved in a fatal car accident where a guy on a motorbike cut him off and he had no choice but to hit him and unfortunately both the riders died at the scene.) Well anyways turns out he has been given 3.5 years before he eligable for parole. :-( so looks like im goin to be raising my two little ones and this one on my own for a while. Shanae is 5 and is at pre-primary and my son is 15 months old he just starting to walk so he keeping me on my toes a bit, as this is my 3rd pregnancy i think im going to be having a long one lol. I guess the good side of things is that i can see him twice a week for 1.5hours and we can talk on the phone on the in between and write to each other, i still hasnt really sunk in yet but however no doubt it will in time. i go for my 1st trimester screen next week so hopefully all goes well and might even beable to take some pictures home with me to send into him, brighten his day up a bit. well thats it for me today, time to go get some rest i'm so tired.

April 4th;

i finally got to see my man today :-) he's doing ok just a bit sad as he really misses us all and really wants to come home. i get to see him again on sunday so hopefully all goes well then, but im excited at the same time. its good knowing we can still at least still see each other and he can ring me all the time. he got himself a job working in the mechanics yard so he'll keep himself busy in there.(he's a mechanic by trade so he'll love it) as for us well shanae doing great she loving her new school and my baby boy kaylan well he's finally taken his first steps at 15months lol, bout time!! i'm a bit sad find myself crying to sleep as i dont want to show it in front of the kids as they dont really understand and soon theyre going to start asking questions where dad is :-(. Kaylan got to see him today he's young so he doesn't really understand what a prison is, but my daughter well she does and i dont think its really the place for her to go see him, so we'll deal with it when the time comes i think. well i'm off to bed early night :-)

April 11th;

Well off to a great day not!!, i got woken up at 9-30 last night to the police ringing me to say that my partners ex wife whom i've never spoken to seen or nothing has ordered a restraining order against me so i have to go to court next friday 11am 18th which means i cant see my partner :(, so that was bad enough for me but hey oh well, then i went to see damo and his dad was there hoping to get a hug from him as its been a while (they didnt speak for few years because of his wife and his mother, its only been since he went to prison in february that they've spoken and his dad has been helping take care of everything for him) and anyways once again 4th time around the drug sniffer dog sat on him so we had to go non contact again, not happy at all (bear in mind his father has nothing whatsoever to do any kind of drug for that matter)only make matter worse my son was trying to pick at all the little screws and bang on the glass to try and find a way in to daddy, it was quite sad, so its been pretty devastating day all together, but i'm still keeping strong i guess i get to see him sunday so that'll be good. lets see how that goes.

April 19th;

i had to go to court yesterday because of the wonderful restraining order damo ex wife placed on me, and after 1.5 hours she didnt even show up so the case was dismissed, what a complete waste of a day. Went up to the prison on saturday for a family day, it was quite relaxing which was good. They had old mcDonalds farm there, some clowns kinda, painting for the kids, a balloon guy making all sorts of animals, and had like a bbq going with hamburgers and sausage sizzle, not to mention lollies and ice-cream. it was on a big oval there and inside the gym so it was quite relaxing, i finally got to cuddle damo ;-) and we got to relax a bit on the lawn while watching kaylan run around and play with everything. damo and kaylan went for a ride on the little train towed by a quad it was quite cute. he had such a great time, by the end of the 2.5 hours he was buggered. so overall we all had a great day it was good. they should really have alot more of these it helps having that slight bit of extra bond.

April 21st;

i'm still finding hard having to walk away everytime i see him and watch him walk back into such a horrible place, but theres nothing i can do about it. we still talk everyday and i try and write a letter a week to keep things strong but its getting harder and harder by the day, i'm finding myself crying myself to sleep every night and every now and then during the day i'll just break down for no reason what so ever. i'm taking shanae to see him this weekend as she is constantly asking where he is and cries when she doesnt get to talk to him on the phone. the sadest part is she not allowed to send in her picture and that she draws or paints in case there is drugs on there. lol. the hardest part is getting through this pregnancy and through the next 3.5 years without him. its all the simple things in life you miss and it makes u realise what u had and lost and how to appreciate a person more and see what they've for you and a the same time how strong your relationship really is. i just really hope and pray our relationship doesnt fall apart because of all this.

hello everyone, i have some bad news yesterday i went to my gp with some pv bleeding and pain so i demanded a ultrasound, while i was having a ultrasound the lady completely freaked out as it showed that my cervix is open and it looks like i may have an incompetent cervix, i then went to the hospital where they ran a few test and confirmed that yes my cervix is open but however i'm not leaking amniotic fluid which i spose is one good sign. the doctor has let me go home but has referred me to a obstetrican because i'm a extremely high risk pregnancy because of my last two pregnancies, as i went into labor at 28weeks, my daughter was then induced at 36 weeks due to pre-eclampsia then delivered by emergency c-section, then my son went into labor at 28weeks and then i delivered him naturally (no pain relief or anything at all as i had no time) at 32 weeks and now this has happened it worse. i have to wait till next week to see the obstetrican to be stitched up, i'm freaked out i dont know anything about this will i lose my baby???

May 22nd;

well the good news is the hospital rang me today in relation to my swab test i had done and it turns out i have an infection in my uterus which is what has been causing me to be having contractions and problems with my cervix, however the infection i have not to sure isactly what they called it but it is very common to miscarry with this as it can go through to the baby. so they have put me on some anti-biotics to help clear it up but these seem to be making me sick :-/ so i've got some inner health plus capsules (good bacteria) to take with the anti-biotics so see how we go there, i have an appointment next thursday at the hospital at 9am so hopefully they'll figure out what going on from here on in.

May 26th;

heres the fantastic news not!! as my daughter is not my current partner as we got together a while after she was born, her father who lives over 300km away has decided to try and take me back to court again for the 4th time. as i was only a single parent for a while i lost everything trying to fight him in court all my assets everything all i had left was the clothes on mine and her back. we have only just recently been to court while i was pregnant with my son and because i was so stressed out i only gained 6kg being pregnant with him. when he found out that i had been admitted to hospital and that i had been going into labour constantly for 4 weeks he still didnt care and kept harrassing me and getting the proceedings to go through. then when my son was born we were due to go to trial the following week. the day before trial he backed out and signed the paperwork. now the times before that he done the same thing the day before trial was start he backed out. so now here we go again back to court and trial and so fourth only this time he doesnt realise that im not going through with it and he wont like it lol oh well !!! one of the things he is asking is that im not allowed to move any further away from as it is. its not my fault he lives out in the bush why should i keep tying my life down to him when he does nothing for me or his daughter i mean he doesnt even pay child support and he's loaded!! men what can i say......

June 12th;

well its been a while since i last updated, but things havent seem to have gotten any easier at all. as you know i've moved back in with my mum and my two sisters 6 and 7 who have a disability and i'm currently sharing a bedroom with both my kids and then of course the baby when it arrives. i have hit breaking point i cant even afford to buy food or nappies or even get my daughter to school and yet my mother works full time and recieves other payments and still she asking me for money towards the bills she hadnt paid for 3 months before i moved in. just wonderful. not to mention i am the one who looks after them and picks them up from school baths them feeds them gets them ready for bed, i clean the whole house all day everyday and even cook dinner for my mother and i, while supposed to be on bedrest. i dont get child support for my daughter, well unless you call $13 a month sufficient to support her and of course as my partner is in prison from the car accident he cant support me and we've already lost everything. just as things couldnt get any worse my car has now gone and its going to cost me like $3000 to fix it and thats not including new tyres or brakes. where the hec am i going to get that from. well ive pretty much given up on hope i've been spending my days in bed trying to sleep away the stress and pain but it doesnt seem to be working, i have no idea what so ever how i'm going to afford or cope with this baby when it arrives. my mother is being kicked out of this house as its been sold as part of her divorce settlement with my father so she is moving into another house only this time doesn't want me to be there as she wont be able to cope with another baby in the house so i have 3 weeks to find a house and i just found out i cant get a rental because of my bankruptcy and same as a loan so my hands are tied for another 6 years till its over...... is there really a light at the end of this dark tunnel..

i dont really know what i'm going to do or where to go for help????