May 18th, 2008:

I remember the time when I hated my body
When every pound was like a violent scar
When every ounce made me cringe
And, shameful, look away

I remember the time I could not stand mirrors
Would not remove my shirt for even the most intimate of moments
Would cover my hips and stomach with my arms
Even as he lay kisses upon them, worshipping their form

I remember that time before motherhood
When I doubted myself and everything that was of me
When my body was to be loathed and sneered at
And when I did not have the sense to stand up for it and all it was

I remember that time of shame
As I stand humbled by my womb
Swollen far beyond the measurements
Of what 'real women' are or should be

I remember that time and laugh
Joyful that motherhood has taught me
At last to be contented
At last to be complete
At last to be at peace with every curve
Every ounce that sought to beautify rather than destroy me

And in my joy, I seek to teach
To hold my daughter to a higher standard than I
That she may know her body
Every scar
Every inch
Every pound
Every curve
Every ounce
Every flaw
And enjoy it as much as I should have

I remember.

Look at that precious little fist. I'm in love with those hands.

Pouty face. She was getting real fussy by the end.

I really, really love this one.

Thumb in her mouth.

Sucking on her lower lip just like I do. Well, daddy does it too.

She has a cute little smile.

So sleepy in there!

Okay, who's she looking like now? Still daddy? Me? Or both?