Hi everyone. I just found this site in passing, so i thought what the hell, I'll sign up. This is not my first pregnancy, though the first one didn't make it. i was about 4 1/2 months when we lost him about a year and a half ago. It was hard, but we were finally able to try again, and it took a while, but we are 10 weeks now, so we are just hoping all goes well this time. I'm not against talking about our loss, I am willing to share it with anyone who would like to know, i just dont want to write a book in my info the first day I sign up for the site. :0)

Dec 18th~

Well, I guess I shall finally make my first entry in here, aside from my opening statement. I hope everyone is feeling well. I'm feeling much better now, i can eat again, but i'm still not 100 percent. Been very busy with the holidays, which is nice, keeps my mind off of things.

I will be having my next ultrasound on the 26th. I am trying to not get worked up about it. I never really look foward to ultrasounds, because of the last pregancy. but I have to keep reminding myself this is not the same baby as last time. I always get this fear before we go in that they will see the baby is dead in the u/s. Does anyone else feel that before their u/s? I can't wait till I'm far enough along to feel the baby, that way I have more assurance that everything is okay.

I actually just can't wait to have the baby. lol. Everyone tells me, to put my feet up, enjoy my pregancy. What a joke that is. pregnancy is nerve wracking. Its exciting too, but until you have that baby in your arms, you just don't know what can happen.

One day at a time.... taking baby steps. After I hit week 20 i can relax a little bit.

oh, i should elaborate on my last pregancy. some of you already know from reading in the forums, but in a nutshell... we went for our 20 week ultrasound last time and found out the baby had severe spina bifida. After tests at Philly childrens hospital, and much talking, crying, soul searching, both my husband and I decided the best decision for us and for our baby was to terminate the pregnancy. Not everyone would agree that was the right choice, and I respect that, but for us, it was the right choice. I have had a few people. not on the site, but in my personal life who have made snide remarks about our decision, but that is fine with me. They dont know, they were never put in that position to make that choice. I told myself a long time ago, I would never terminate a pregancy no matter what. Life changes ya.

Well, back to work. lol. Only a half an hour till I leave. woo hoo.