Tuesday June 2, 2008

Recently I was sort of frustrated because I bought a sling from Infantino, (the new one that was made after the recall, and the box said it was perfect for nursing on the go, but I could nit figure it out at all, so if anyone has any advice... In my search, I found this video on you tube that is incredibly helpful for an inexpensive alternative...

I also have been very down for the past two weeks. I just feel like I am doing a horrible job at life. My daughter cries a lot recently and when people point that out to me it makes me think what am I doing that is wrong. Also my house is a mess, and on days like today when I put my daughter down and all she does is cry, there isn't much I can do about it. I just feel like I am failing as a wife and a mother. To make matters worse there is no one who really understands this and that these feelings that I have are real, they just say all babies cry and all houses get messy sometimes. My daughter is two and a half months old and to me it seems like post-pardom baby blues should be over by now. i don't know though, if anyone has been through this same thing let me know.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Today is day three of the fever. On Sunday night Rebekah spiked a fever of 102.5. I gave her tylenol and a cool bath hoping that it would go down and that would be the end of it. Monday morning her fever was 101.6. I gave more tylenol and waited until 8:30 when the dr. office opened and called. A the office her temp was back up to 101.6. This was four hours later of course so she was due for the next dose. We were sent to the hospital for testing. At the hospital the did a blood draw and a catheter for urine analysis. I went home and gave her some pedialite because the dr. said that she needs to have fluids even if she is refusing to eat. Today the hospital called and said that they didn't see anything wrong with her blood or urine and the dr wanted to see her again tomorrow. So the rest of today will be spent keeping the fever down and the baby hydrated. I am feeling pretty exhausted at this point because of not knowing what is wrong and not knowing what to do for Rebekah. But on the upside of things she is mostly a pleasant little sick baby. She looks up at me with glassy eyes and gives me her best effort at a smile. It is the cutest thing! Please pray for my little girl that God would heal whatever is wrong with her. Thank you. God Bless

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

So for the past couple of weeks I have thought that I was pregnant again. Needless to say I was scared out of my mind. How would we provide for another baby? Will I be able to pay attention to both of my children equally? How would Rebekah as an eleven month old react to a brand new baby? And now that I have finally just decided to accept the fact and prepare for another baby, I Aunt Flow came to visit me. But now I'm not as relieved as I thought I would be. And when I called Jonathan at work to let him know, he didn't sound as excited as I thought he would. In fact he kept saying isn't it too soon to be sure and are you sure... Finally he just said well I guess we should be relieved huh and I was like yeah. End of Conversation... I'm not sure why I don't feel that way right now...
But on the other all of the sudden Breastfeeding is taking a nosedive. Now it was horrible in the beginning with the sore nipples and what not that comes with just starting to breastfeed, but I got through that and I thought okay, now I'm good now. Now all of the sudden I'm hardly making any milk at all. I think that was why Rebekah was so fussy because she wasn't getting enough of milk to eat. So, I started supplementing. I thought that I'd just give them a bit of a break and then pump and feed her to try to build it back up. That is what the lactation consultant lady said to do, because your body makes the milk that the baby needs. Only this didn't work and even first thing in the morning I could get about an ounce and a half after pumping both breasts! So now I am trying to feed her when I feel milk in my breasts, but that isn't very often, and so I have to feed her formula. At first I felt like a failure, and at times I still wish I could feed her in the most natural way possible, it just won't work, and I can't feel guilty about this anymore.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Rebekah is almost four months old already! On Saturday she will be four months old! Wow time flies. she does the funniest things. She babbles all the time and she is starting to roll over. Her smile brightens up my day and my life, and I am so in love with this little baby! I cannot imagine what our lives would be like without her. Shes gained four pounds and is now 10 pounds. She has finally reached double digits. on saturday I drove jonathan to the airport and he flew to China. he is on a missions trip and he will be gone until the 27th. I miss him so much! Pray fot jonathan and the team and for their safety. and pray for me that ill make it through the time without him!