April 21st 2008- THANK YOU LORD, for the end OF Crazeee Morning Sickness
Well the end of last week was a good week. It was the end of a majority of the morning sickness symptoms, which for me lasted all day long. Now it is presominantly in the morning when I first get up then subsides when I get something in my stomach. Now the main symptoms are headaches an dizziness throughout the day, but it is all tolerable. The cramping has minimized and it is more like ligament stretching than persistent as before. No bleeding or spotting. The doppler works great and baby is listened to twice a day. Morning and Night. Husband counts at night and he loves doing it. We are in the 160s to 170s with the HR.
Now that I have my appetitie back, its gonna be tricky making sure I don't overdue the eating and gain too much weight. I am already a thick mama and I don't want to get crazy and then blam it on baby. So moderation, fruits and veggies are my Food of choice.
My DH is grateful too..When I am ill I am mean and grouchy and I don't take being sick very well.
I continue to pray daily and loudly for my little one to stick and hang in ther and it feels as though this is going to be a long and wonerful journey and when I look back I will say it went by tooooo fast.
God Bless.
April 15th 2008- I am the Doppler Queen Now~~~~
So...I ordered a Fetal Heart Doppler...It came in the mail yesterday and....................................................................
I found the HB and baby is just moving and heart is just beating away. I will be 11 weeks Thursday. HR is anywhere between 165 and 177. It is great.
My OB is on the verge of getting fired. She called me today and discouraged the use of the doppler amongst other things..She said, "Frankly, if you don't get a Heartbeat at 2:00 in the morning I don't want to hear from you." I put her in her place when I said to her, "I appreciate her call, I have alredy received the doppler. (apparently without her approval) I used to work in antepartum and postpartum care" and I had to remind her that I am a nurse who has realistic expectations. She was like Oh, Ok. So did you find the heartbeat, I said, "Absolutely."
That cut her lose pretty quickly. I think I am going to change OBs after my 5/8 appointment. I will let her know my frustrations and concerns about her nonchalant attitude and I will consider changing over to her partner in the same office or going with one of the OB docs I know closer to home. Been with her 12 or so years and I hate to cut her lose, but she is pushing me..I AM IN A HORMONAL RAGE...LOL ask my DH he'll tell you.
Apr 04, 2008 12:09AM- LimBo JiMbo
So I had not heard back from my doc after yesterdays ultrasound. The blood and the cramping scared me. At any rate, I went into work when I woke up not feeling bad. I had to teach my receptionist to pay the bills and that took most of the day. I took my biller out to eat and we talked.
I called my doc cause they still had not called me and they told me to call back if no one called back after lunch...UGH. I went back to the office and had one of my nurses start an IV on me and run about 1000L of fluid into my veins because I have not been able to keep up with drinking water since I have just felt the morning sickness since March 4th.
So as I sat back at my desk with my feet up having fluids ran, I talked it up with the staff as they came by trying to catch me up on the weeks events. I was content. Less stress than sitting at home worrying about what the heck is wrong with my body.
I called the doctors office, who seemed to be all the more confused and did not know where my U/S films were. Eventually the doctor calls me and apologizes. She said, "Everything looks Great, the fetus is 9 weeks today, there is a small bleed at the site of implantation, and all I can say is that I can't tell you, that you will not miscarry, but many mothers go on to have healthy pregnanies, it is small so I am not overly concerned." So with that said I am still in Limbo. I know no more today than I did for the past week sitting my restless self at home.
Now I am going back to work, but plan on taking it easy. She told me not to hike a mountain, move furniture, do anything strenuous. So I am going to be a good girl and not climb mount everest or rearrange my house.
DH was around with DS today before I came home from work, but departed before I got home.
I roamed around the pregnancy section of the book store before I came home to search for some books that might assist me to assist DH with the pregnancy and what to expect. I wanted a book wih colors and what not, but the selection was limited. I will try B&N tommorow maybe. Or look online.
DH misses me I know and I miss him to, but there is something that God is trying to do here and I just have to let him do what he does.
It has been a long day and I am ready for bed.
Prayers to my little bambino...May he stick like crazy glue until he is fully ready for the world.
Apr 08, 2008 12:09AM - Little Bean is Stickin...GO Baby Bean Go!!! 9 weeks 3 days today. Yes. Baby doppled Heartbeat, YES! Strong and there. I am so excited. My bleed is being described as thin and or small, depending on which Dr.'s interpretation I use.
I am still cramping everyday and spotting brown now on occasion.
Morning Sickness is kicking my butt. Nausea, Fatigue, Irritability, Hungry for everything, then not wanting anything.
DH and I are doing ok. He has his moments and I have mine. Neverthless we love one another and we are excited and concerned about the baby.
They say the chaces of miscarry decreases a little more when a heartbeat can be identified by doppler.
DS is excited about his little sister (sex unknown), which he goes back and forth between brother or sister. He has been sticking with the sister desire for the last few days.
3 weeks 6 days until the beggining of the 2nd trimester.
I just thank the Lord for his precious miracle. I myself have picked out first names, but I will get the DH on board around and in the 2nd Trimester. Name are a sticky subject with us...Long story...So I will save that for when the battle comes.
Names: Jamai' for a Boy or Sar'ai for a Girl
I perfer all my childrens names to have a biblical basis. My first born is Elijah
Ok..Until Next Time.....God Bless
March 27th 2008- To Rest or not to Rest (The Bedrest Saga) -
Well, I sit here in my bed after placing myself on bedrest. I despise it, but I got to listen to myself for once.
Of course my OB came in on my follow-up visit to the E.R. and sat on the counter and Hmm'd and Ha'd about some magic pill that he wish she could give me to make the hemmorhaging stop or the cramping go away. Yadda Yadda Yadda. The thing that upsets me is that she was only going by the report I gave her verbally about what I was told in E.R.She didn't ask for images or records or confirm what I was told she just said well There is nothing we can do it is a waiting game. Sometimes it comes out good sometimes it comes out bad.
So I went back to the typed up E.R. discharge notes when I got home and read. "Question Small Subchorionic hemmorhage." QUESTION? Shouldn't I be the one with the questions? I laughed and said was the question for me? I tell you...the medical profession can be a joke and the sad part is I have been a part of it for over 9 years.
I figure I have to be more agressive. Over the years these doctors have seen multiple miscarriages as they have seen multiple births and a lot of information is just not given. I am not the person who wants to see multiple miscarriages witthout explanation. So I am taking matters into my own nursing hands and geting smart about the situation. I want to be able to help myself as much as possible and help others as well.
So here it goes, with the diagnosis of a small subchorionic hematoma, I didn't even think to walk out of the E.R. with pictures in hand. Nor did I even get to look at the screen my little bean was on. It seemed like I was just to wait for the answer on that piece of paper. It was a big secret and it took 6 hours for me to get that piece of paper. I got it and I accepted it, but now tommorow I am going to the hospital and requesting all of my records and medical images. I have a right to it and I have paid for it, so I want it.
I have an ultrasound set for Wednesday. I want those images too!! I am going to compare the two and see what is really the deal. Yes I know I have a bleed, I just don't have answers as to where it is compared to the baby, how big it is or how small it is, how much of the placenta has it affected. Nor do I have a true answer as to why I have been cramping for the last 3 weeks.
So I am putting my foot down and as a patient I have a right to know more than they are allowing me to know and as a nurse I am smart enough and have the resources to get better answers.
It is silly that the doctor sends me for an ultrasound for next week to see if the bleed is getting bigger, but doesn't have the images from ER to compare it to. Sensless if you ask me. Just retarted. I was not even asked what hospital I went to being that this a city with at least 15 hospitals nor was there attempt to get the records. She just heard what I said and said what she said and that was the end of that.
So with that said. I got myself on bedrest. I am taking it easy. I am doing my best not to irritate my body to have the placenta tear off. The cramping is ongoing and that bothers me, but I am putting my trust in GOD. I know what I need to do and I just have to get more realistic and aggressive about me. As my mother has told me, "No one will take better care of you, than you." And that's real.
April 3, 2003- Come On BabY Bean Stick! BaBy Stick! -
So today was follw up U/S after an Easter Sunday E.R visit. I was in Er due to cramping and bleeding. U/S showed baby a 6wk 5 days and HB 170. Questionable Subchorionic Hemmorhage. I put myself on bedrest for 10 dyas until todays U/S. See photos...Our little bean was so sweet. HB 170s measuring now at 8 weeks 6 days. He even moved for daddy. This was all a good thing, esp since my husband has not truly taken on the raeality of my pregnancy symptoms (moodiness, irritability, crying, nausea, dizziness, headaches) nor the true seriousness of hemmorhaging. Daddy was happy, he was mesmorized by the U/S and held tight to babys pics. At the top of that emotional rollercoaster.
Everything was great. We celebrated by going to eat. I came home and took a nap...I was tired for the morning. I even thought I would go into work tommorow. Well I got up used the restroom. Made something to eat. Then I felt something dribble. In the bathroom and there it was again...Blood. Brown (old) but nonetheless there as well as cramping that has not let up since March 8th. Back down at the bottom of the emotional rollercoaster I went. DH was at church and I sent him a text and called and called but no answer. that was 7pm. He finally got out of church and called me after 9:30p. I told him I am tird of the emotional rollercoaster.
I want this bean to stick, but I don't know why my body is acting so UGLY right now. The uterus, the sac need to just get along, cause baby is happy where he is. He was just active today and I know he wants to survive.
I just again have to put my faith in God, He knows our destiny. I am speaking life to what could seem like a dead situation. I believe he is going to make out if it his purpose. In the meantime, I am going emotionally insane.
March 25th 2008- Follow-up Dr. Appointment-
I went to my OB today and she said there is nothing that can be done. She wishes she could give me a little pill that makes it go away. She promised me an ultrasound next Wednesday. To see if the bleed has grown or has clotted. I pray that God puts his hand in it...I am just wanting this to happen and so is my husband.
March 23rd 2008- Easter Sunday-
Well I spent Easter night and the following morning in the E.R. We came home after spending time out the family's house and I went to the BR and found that I was bleeding. I have been cramping since March 8th and have been worried. Now I am losing my mind. It was a long time in the E.R. My DH and DS accompanied me and it was 7 hours of a waste of a lot of time. I did a urine test, blood test and ultrasound. It took 5 hours to get the doctor to come hand me a paper. The baby had a HB 170, measuring 6 weeks 5 days. Small Subchorionic Hemmorrhage. The advice was to take Ibuprofen (BIG NO NO!!), no sex, no tampons and rest until cramping and bleeding stopped. The diagnosis was threatened miscarriage. UGH!
March 21st 2008- 7 weeks 1 day -
I am extremely nervous, worried, crampy, grouchy, not talking to the DH. and I am just losing my mind. I am afraid to get my hopes up high to be disappointed. So I have a really strange attitude about this pregnancy. I have buried myself in a caccoon. Just work, sleep and go back to work again. Although I should be happy, my pride will not allow me to be so. I haven't shared the news with many people. The hardest part was not the complexity of the last m/c. It was going back and telling people.."NEVERMIND."
March 13th 2008- 6 weeks Today
Today I was cramping again and I am worried. It started late this morning and I feel scared. I called the doctor and it was just terrible. They seemingly laughed it off and stated that it is normal and unfortunately its just what I have to deal with. I stated that I have a history of miscarriage and it worries me that there is nothing more they care to investigate. She stated that if I bleed or the cramping gets worse and unbearable to report to the E.R. UGHHHHHH!
March 8th 2008- Cramps, Cramps GO AWAY!-
I am 5 weeks 2 days today. I woke up this morning feeling not so peachy. I have had cramping all day. I am not sure whther I should contribute this to implantation bleeding, since the implantation has already occurred by now. So I am going to try to be positive and contribute it to lgament and stretching pains. My mind is thinking miscarriage so it scares the heck out of me. I will try to stay positive.
March 5th 2008- HPT Test...BFP-
I stopped at the store on my way to work. I had to know. I had sore BBs, nausea, cramping last week and I am just certain something is RIGHT! I was scared. I waited awhile at work before I tested. I went to the bathroom with one of the tests ( I bought two for one). I got a cup and dipped..I waited and it was a BFP!!!!!! OMG. What the heck. Who do I tell? When did it happen? I don't track anything but my periods on mymonthlycycles and I don't crazy with fertile days, we just do what we do! OK. OK. I had to calm myself because I am scared that I may just get my hopes up to miscarry again. SO who do I tell. I came out of the bathroom and headed straight for the back door...I had a huge smile on my face, so one of my nurses followed me outside. She said what's up and I said, I can't hold it in...I am pregnant again. She just hugged me and was so excited and it made me feel so GOOD! I had to come up with a plan to tell DH. Also figure out a way to break it to him softly that I would feel comfortable if we did not share the news until after the 12th week. The hardest thing is to tell people NEVERMIND!!!
I went to Babies R US, bought a picture frame that said "I Love my Daddy" and anothr frame that had premade U/S pictures in it... I bought a 99cent box and a yellow bow..I placed the test and the two items inside....I bought a yellow balloon and a card congratulating him on having little soldiers that marched...LOL!! Anyhow..Being that the DH is a big kid.. I placed the box in the kitchen on our island. When he came home he said, "Whose box is that," I said it is not yours don't touch it.. He said it was his house and he could touch whatevr he wanted...I said again it wasn't his and he BETTER NOT TOUCH IT!! He laughed and I laughed...My phone rang and I turned my back purposely to see out of the cornr of my eye, him sneaking into the box...He fell into the trap...Such a big kid...He was estatic..
March 4th 2008- AF is due today! I feel so sick-
My DH, thinks I am crazy. I left work to pick him up for an appointment and head off to our Tuesday night Gospel night spot. I was feeling so sick all day. I felt like crap for the drive home and felt even worse when he took over the wheel. I complained and held the side bar the whole time. He thought I was just tired and asked me to recline my seat. I told him it only made me feel worse. We got to our gospel destination and the sickness would not give. I still was able to gather the strength and sing with him and praise God. I felt something wasn't right. I just had gotten over the flu, so maybe that was it..Or was it? We left early and drove home..I held on tight cause I was not feeling pretty. We stopped at the drug store and we talked about getting a pregnancy test, but I did not want to get one. I was nervous and scared and also I didn't want to buy a test and it be negative. So we didn't, we just got some candy and some allergy medication for my husband. I couldn't sleep, I keep thinking maybe I am preggo...
March 6th 2008- Urine test at Dr. Office -
The insensitve people at the doctors office had me pee in a cup, "Were you trying to get pregnant?" I said, "Not, trying, trying, but not, not trying." "Oh well you are." Go ahead make an appointment for 4 weeks and we will se you then. UGH!!! That was a waste of my $20.00 co pay. I knew I was pregnant GEEZ! I figured they would at least help me with reassurance since I have a history of miscarriages..I was frustrated.